PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Cumberland County Civic Center
Portland, ME
Taped from Saturday February 11th,
2010
Host: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Tonight’s PCW show was to have started off with the big match between
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) representing ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Jim Schmidt (R) accompanied by Ron
Paul (R-TX).  Except for one single, teeny-tiny problem…

BACKSTAGE
The Republican Establishment in the form of Corporate
Might: Big Oil and
Kirk Walstreit (R) took turns stomping away at Schmidt.  Big Oil lifted Schmidt
up and put him in the piledriver position and delivered an Oklahoma Driller on the floor.

Tanaka walked out grinning, thinking that he was about to have an easy
night.  Then…this….

PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH)  in the
ring.

Boehner: As the leader of the PCW Competition
Committee, and since we have no opponent tonight for Yamamoto Tanaka…

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!

Boehner: I have no other choice but to declare
Tanaka…and Mitt Romney…the-

Suave: What the hell? 

Ron Paul walks out and heads to the ring.

*Pat Green‘s ‘Southbound 35′ comes on*

Texas Jack runs down the ramp, passes Paul, and goes right to
the ring.  He throws Boehner out and starts trading shots with Tanaka.

A referee slides into the ring and we’re off.

Suffice to say, Boehner goes off like that elf in the movie ‘Bad
Santa!’

No, not THAT elf!  Well kinda…but no!

Okay.  Yeah.  That guy.

Meanwhile…

Texas Jack decks Tanaka with a left hand.  He climbs the top
turnbuckle…SPLASH!    Texas Jack hooks the leg…one…two…WHAT?

That’s right, Big Oil came to ringside and pulled the referee out.
Then it got even better…

Suave: “The crowd is pissed and rightly so.
Texas Jack is shouting at Big Oil.  He doesn’t see Tanaka.  HOLY CRAP!

From behind, Tanaka grabbed Texas Jack and dropped him like a bad
habit with the Scorpion Death Drop.  But Tanaka wasn’t done yet…

Suave: Tanaka’s has Texas Jack on the top
rope…no…no…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER!  Tanaka covers…Boehner’s in the ring…he
makes the count…1…2..3.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ 14:02

Suave would call for the police to come down after Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit,
and PCW Champion Daniel-San hit the ring and beat on Texas Jack.

Er, no.  I don’t think he’s coming to Texas Jack’s rescue.   I don’t think
he’s coming to anyone else’s rescue either to be honest.

But someone else did…

Suave: IT’S A-BOMB!  IT’S A-BOMB!

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy
Cutter-Bomb

The crowd pops when A-Bomb, bandaged up from his beatdown Thursday night, and
Daisy Cutter-Bomb runs to the ring.  And he’s on…

…yeah, something like that.

A-Bomb pulls Daniel-San off Texas Jack.  Daniel-San swings;
A-Bomb ducks and then whips him through the ropes to the floor.  Walstreit comes
over- Daisy intercepts and kicks him in the balls.  Then she takes his breath
away with a devastating Daisy Cutter Powerbomb.  Tanaka and Big Oil retreat from
the ring when the Tea Party: Average Joe, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and NRA
show up as well.

—————————————————-

The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife
have pulled the United States
apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find
themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an
attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind
attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest
challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in
the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from
undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a
cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A.
Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political
satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

———————————————

And of course, next came the obligatory Jesusland vs. Progressiveville match
to promote the book.

MATCH #2

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
(I) w/Rah
vs.
Happy Mango (I)

But!  Before the match could get started, David Brock of
Media Matters For America comes out and interrupts the proceedings.  Brock, who
is parodied in the book as well as most of the main political ‘stars’, is not
happy about his portrayal.

David Brock: That is not fair.  You equate us as being
no better than the lying conservative scum who-

Excerpt from Jesusland vs. Progressiveville:
A man
wearing a white shirt with black pinstripes stood up.  “Ma’am, given the fact
that there appears to be some significant movement forward from the initial
meetings, how long will it be before there will be some sort of official
announcement?”

“It’ll be soon.”

“A follow up,” the reporter said.  “Just how soon?”

“Really, really soon.”

“We object!”

Amy sighed and pointed to two men who shot up out of their chairs.
“What?”

“Eric Boehlert,” the man on the left said.

“David Brock,” the man on the right said.

“We’re from Media Matters for America,” Boehlert said.

“What’s your question?” queried Amy.

Brock answered, “We protest the fact that you allowed the last reporter, who
works for the Wall Street Journal- known for its bias towards conservatives, to
ask a follow up question.  That validates his first question which we see as
slanted towards a conservative viewpoint.”

Amy scratched her head.  “He asked a perfectly reasonable question.”

“We object to the fact that you are allowing the right wing to spew their
hate filled propaganda,” Boehlert said.

Brock added, “You’re helping to push the conservative’s extreme agenda by
giving their questions such credence.”

Amy considered her options.  “Hey, guys?  Look.  I am not biased in any way.
Hell, I’m a big fan of the Dixie Chicks and I feel that what’s happened to them
is a crime.  So-”

“I OBJECT!”

Amy’s eyes fluttered and she shook her head.  “All right, who are you?”

“Noel Sheppard.  NewsBusters.  We take on and fight liberal media bias.”

“And what do you want?  Are you implying that I’m somehow biased?”

“Yes,” Sheppard said matter of factly.  It’s a well known fact that liberals
use their sympathizers in the media to further their left wing agendas.”

“All I said was that I was a big fan of the Dixie Chicks.  And what happened
to them was a crime.”

“So you agree with the Dixie Chicks,” accused Sheppard.  “I knew you were
biased.”

“What?”

“SHE’S BIASED!”

Amy glared at Sheppard.

———————-

Of course, Brock again takes great exception at the comparison and threatens
to put Political Championship Wrestling and the author of Jesusland vs.
Progressiveville, Mr. A. Nominous, on his enemies list.  And then the most
peculiar thing happened…

Okay, okay.  More peculiar than the Beach Boys getting back together for
their 50th anniversary.

Suave: “Some guy with a bow-tie is running to the ring!
Wait a minute?  Is that Paul Simon?

The Late Senator Paul Simon (D-IL)

Suave: No, wait.  He’s dead.  I don’t
believe it.  Is that Tucker freakin’ Carlson?

Tucker freakin’ Carlson (R)

Carlson has a chair and hits the ring.  He blasts Brock with the steel
folding chair.  Then something even more inexplicable than the Beach Boys
reuniting and Tucker Carlson doing a run-in takes place…

Alan Dershowitz

Suave: “ALAN DERSHOWITZ? 

Dershowitz hands the referee some sort of warrant.

Suave: What the hell is that?  A steel folding
chair warrant?  Is that anything like the ‘torture warrant’ that Dershowitz once
advocated?

Apparently so.  After delivering the warrant, Dershowitz takes the chair from
Carlson and whaps Brock with it.  Then he took the microphone.

Dershowitz: “…let me tell you, Max Blumenthal and Media
Matters will be singlehandedly responsible for [Obama] losing the PCW CEO race.
They [the Democrats] cannot win and keep this affiliation with them [Media
Matters].

So after all that, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin hit a Pizza
Cutter on Happy Mango three seconds into the match.  She made the cover and got
the pin.

WINNER: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin @ :06

Next, backstage PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Mrs.
Miyagi about the break up between her and Daniel-San.   Except for the fact that
Mrs. Miyagi really isn’t in a talking mood.  At least until Daniel-San shows
up.

Daniel-San: Look, I didn’t care for the way
this whole thing went down.  That’s my fault.  I’m sor-

Yep.  cue John Creese and his Cobra Conservatives walking in to
interrupt the PCW Champion.

John Creese:Mercy is for the weak, Daniel-San.  Haven’t
you gotten that through your head?  Boys…

Cue the obligatory Cobra Con attack on Mrs. Miyagi.  Except Mrs. Miyagi wipes
the floor with Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy.  So Creese sweeps her leg and
tells Daniel-San to take her out.  Daniel-San slaps on the Labell Lock and by
the time Halitosis- the Insane Luchador with Horribly Bad Breath, can reach her
she’s unconscious.

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title Match
‘The One Man
Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
(c)
vs.
Mitch Thomas- The American
Taxpayer

Of course, Chism wins easily as the American Taxpayer is screwed from the
start when the announcement is made that the national debt will be a trillion
dollars more in a decade than originally forecast.

WINNER AND STILL PCW Television Champion: ‘The One Man Hollywood
A-List’ Stone Chism (D) @ :57

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Imperial Bowl
Pittsfield, MA
Thursday February 9th, 2012
Announcer:
Johnny Suave

Suave welcomed everyone to another edition of PCW Politics is War.  He
reviewed what went down Tuesday night at PCW Minnesota Mayhem:

-the preemptive attack on the Right Rev. Randy Richardson
(R), representing Rick Santorum (R-PA) and the God Squad by ‘The
Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt
Romney’s (R-MA) wrestler Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and the Republican Establishment.

-the surprise return of A. Tom Bomb (R).   Accompanied by
long time valet, Daisy Cutter-Bomb,
A-Bomb laid waste to Tanaka, K-Roy (R)- representing Newt Gingrich, and Magnum PO’d (R)- for Ron Paul (R-TX) to sweep through the Minnesota Mayhem match
on behalf of Santorum.

Suave announced that Jesusland
vs. Progressiveville, the novel featuring two wrestlers from Political
Championship Wrestling (‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Rah!),
was released on Kindle earlier today.

MATCH #1
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (I)
w/Rah
vs.
‘American Girl‘ Sarah Mae
Smith (R) w/Harley Davisson

Smith challenged the whole concept of the book and blamed
the country’s problems on liberal Democrats.  She called herself a ‘true
American’ and went after Martin before the bell rang.

[...Martin and Smith brawl on the floor.   Smith gets a swinging bulldog on
Martin and drives the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl's face into the floor.  From
behind, Davisson grabs Martin  tiger driver!  Rah protests to the referee.
Smith goes corkscrew legdrop but Tessa instinctively moves at the last second.
Rah helps Martin back into the ring and Smith follows suit.

Martin with an arm wrench, then a forearm smash.   Legsweep faceslam brings
the American Girl down.  Smith back up...PIZZA CUTTER!  Smith pinned. The ref
starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin @
6:45

BACKSTAGE
Mitt Romney held a ‘press availability’ (isn’t
that a press conference?) get together in the back and had this to say…

Romney: “I’d like to congratulate Rick Santorum on his win
Tuesday night.  But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean a hill of
gourmet beans imported from the finest coffee fields in Colombia because I will
be the Republican taking on Barack Obama in the fall.”

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein then asked Mitt how it couldn’t
mean something after he went to great trouble to take out Rev. Richardson
earlier in the night.  Romney disputed that ‘he’d’ gone after anyone.  He blamed
the attack on Rev. Richardson on Santorum’s record when he was part of the PCW
Executive Committee.  Bernstein again asked how.  Romney replied, “… Santorum
never et an earmark he didn’t like, now when his wrestler (Richardson) gets
instead of doing the responsible thing and toeing the line on spending he goes
out and buys another wrestler (A-Bomb).”

Bernstein then asked if the win was a significant setback for Romney.  Mitt
said it wasn’t because he really didn’t try to win that hard.

“I could have tried to win a lot harder, perhaps, but I didn’t so it really
doesn’t hurt me too bad in the grand scheme of things.”

Bernstein: “If you weren’t really trying that much, why did
you have Richardson taken out before the match?”

Romney sputtered around the subject and then declared he’d ‘try harder’
tonight.   He then laid out a challenge to A-Bomb to face Yamamoto Tanaka
tonight and claimed that PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH) had
already signed off on the match.

Out of nowhere, Code Pink runs out.  She
tries to fire a Glitter Bomb at Romney but out comes Arizona’s Rough
Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former city police officers
fired for their extreme brand of justice, with Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  They collar Code Pink and drag her away
before she can reach Romney.

‘The Massachusett’s Redblood then walked away with his entourage in search of
gourmet beans imported from the finest coffee fields in Colombia.

Then Mrs. Miyagi, former manager of the PCW Champion Daniel-San, walked out
with her new wrestler- HALITOSIS (I)!

Halitosis (I) with Mrs. Miyagi

‘The Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath’ Halitosis
HT:
5’8, WT: 170, HOME: Cabo Wabo, Mexico
FIN: Breath of Death
MGR: Mrs.
Miyagi

Suave: It’s Halitosis versus…Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy?  Who
the hell is Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy?

Another excerpt from Jesusland vs.
Progressiveville:
“EXCUSE ME!” Lingerie Girl sprang to her feet and
wagged her finger at Rah. “I’ll have you know that…hey…”

She looked down.  Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy was affectionately licking her
feet.

“No! No, no, no!” Lingerie Girl said, pulling her feet back and then hopping
up and down. She bent down and rubbed the top of her foot with her hand to get
the slobber and drool off.

Suave: “Ew, lovely.”

MATCH #2
Halitosis (I)
vs.
Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy
(I)

[The bell rings...Halitosis kicks Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy in the groin.
Snap mare takeover. Headlock takedown.  Halitosis...BREATHES IN NYE'S FACE!.
Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy drops to the mat.  Halitosis hooks the leg. Referee
makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Halitosis @ :41

Suave: “Okay.  First Newt Tron Bomb comes back Tuesday night
with his lethal flatulence otherwise known as ‘Silent, But Deadly.’  Now,
Halitosis?  The WWE wouldn’t do this type of crap-”

Suave: “Okay.  I take that back.”

Suave then talks about the major controversy from last week’s Super
Bowl.

The God Squad…

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190, HOME: Biloxi,
Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C. (Power of Christ)
MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189, HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

…then come out to complain about Madonna’s ‘inappropriate’ Super Bowl
halftime show.

Rev. Flambe: “Why can’t they bring in good, wholesome
entertainment?”

Rev. Hinnrich agreed.  He suggested bringing back  ‘Up With People.’

Suave: “Oh, dear.  No.  No, no, no…no.”

Backstage
Vince Giordano, Vice President of the New Jersey Education
Association, spoke with Bernstein about his opposition to school vouchers.
Bernstein asked Giordano if it was fair for poor students to be stuck in failing
schools.

Giordano: “Well,  life’s not always fair and I’m sorry about
that.”

Out of nowhere, the Jersey Boyz Vinnie and Frankie (R) tackle Giordano and
there’s a brawl when ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty of the
California Teacher’s Union comes to his aid.  Chris Christie (R-NJ) came out and
delivered this diatribe:

Christie: “I cannot express how disgusted I am by that
statement.  But I also have to tell you I’m not the least bit surprised because
I think it so succinctly captures what their position- their real position-
is.”

Suave: “For not being able to express his disgust, he’s
doing a pretty good job of expressing his disgust.”

Christie went on to call Giordano’s comments ‘puffed up rich man’s baloney’
and again the Jersey Boyz attacked- this time against the CTU.  A referee came
out and we had ourselves an impromptu match…

MATCH #3
The California Teacher’s Union: Andy ‘The Foul Pole’
Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D)
vs.
The Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R)
w/Chris Christie (R-NJ)

[...Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker  hits the ring and takes
out the referee.  James the Jeep Worker a jawbreaker on Vinnie.  Big Labor
splashes Frankie in the corner. Giordano cheers as Frankie gets suplexed by Big
Labor.   Inverted atomic drop on Vinnie by Golatta.  Now, guillotine choke on
Vinnie.   Christie in the ring!  Big splash to James the Jeep Worker.  Christie
decks Giordano from the ring apron and follows him to the floor.  Wait!  That's
Scott Walker (R-WI) and Mitch Daniels (R-IN) coming to the ring!  And they're
bringing the Roy Boys!  T-Roy and K-Roy hit the ring to even the odds.  K-Roy
pokes Golatta in the eyes...Evenflow DDT by T-Roy! K-Roy drags Vinnie over and
puts him on Golatta for a pin. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: The Jersey Boyz @ 9:30

Both tag teams barely have enough time to get out of the ring before both
A-Bomb and Tanaka come brawling down the ramp.

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy
Cutter-Bomb

[A-Bomb punches Tanaka over and over.  Tanaka finally tackles A-Bomb and roll
around the floor.  Then Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) run down
and start beating on A-Bomb.  Walstreit hits with the back of his elbow while
Big Oil delivers a kick to the head.   Daisy Cutter-Bomb jumps on Big Oil’s
back.  He lifts her up and Samoan Drops her to the floor.  Tanaka and Big Oil
whip A-Bomb into the steel barricade.  Then Tanaka lifts him
up…PILEDRIVER.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Big Oil then delivers an Oklahoma Driller and finally security gets down to
the ring.  Both A-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb are laid out on the floor as the
show ends.

PCW Minnesota Mayhem Results
Williams Arena
Minneapolis, MN
Tuesday February 7th, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

The second ever PCW ‘Roadshow Across America’ tour made a stop tonight in Minneapolis for tonight’s Minnesota Mayhem show.

‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) entered the arena in high spirits along with his wrestler, Yamamoto Tanaka (R).  Tanaka has torn through the Republican competition since he switched sides and looked to continue that trend tonight.

Who looked to stem the Romney tidal wave?  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and his charge, The Right Rev. Randy Richardson- the former Triple R, that’s who.

The Right Rev. Randy Richardson
HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 235, HOME: Scarsdale, NY
FIN:  Chairshot or Caneshot

Richardson walked out with the God Squad…

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190, HOME: Biloxi, Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C. (Power of Christ)
MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189, HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

…and said that he knows that his reputation precedes him.  Richardson admits that he’s always been his worst enemy and that too many times in the past  he’s cost himself the PCW title.  Tonight that changes.  Richardson claims he’s more at peace with himself right now then he’s been at any point in his career.

The crowd buzzed when the Japanese Superdestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R) ran out and delivered a preemptive strike on Richardson.

…Tanaka hits a frog splash on Richardson. Tanaka goes to the top and hits a flying sitdown splash.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HE’S GOING TO KILL HIM!”

Tanaka back to his feet and calls to the back.  Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Champion Daniel-San with John Creese and the Cobra Cons run to ringside.  Big Oil spikes Richardson’s head into the mat with an Oklahoma Driller.   Walstreit sets Richardson up and hits him with the Stock Market Plunge.  Rev. Flambe and Rev. Hinnrich try to help out but Walstreit bats them away.  Then he piledrives Rev. Flambe.  Daniel-San clotheslines Rev. Hinnrich.  Daniel-San hits a gut-wrench suplex on Richardson. Creese sets Richardson up and Daniel-San decks the Rev. with a Crane Kick.    Tanaka drags Richardson onto the top turnbuckle.

Suave: “NO!  SOMEONE STOP HIM!”

Yeah, too late.  One Japanese SuperDestroyer later Richardson is out cold!  For good measure,  Daniel-San hits the shooting star press on Richardson and then splits with Creese and company.

So, Richardson gets taken out by Tanaka.  Santorum goes to the back and berates Romney who feigns any knowledge of the attack.

MATCH #1
‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) of Politically Correct w/ Soccer Mom (D)
vs.
T-Roy (R) w/former head of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Karen Handel

[Elbow Drop on Thomas-Taylor by T-Roy.   Soccer Mom climbs to the ring apron.  She distracts T-Roy and ... BOOM- New Age Sensitive Guy blasts T-Roy in an old school sensitive area.   Then the new group Planned Parenthood (Democrats Jordan Metzger and Kendra W. Wallace) hit the ring and tackle Handel to the mat.  Metzger punches T-Roy repeatedly while Wallace wrestles with Handel on the mat.   Shoulder tackle by Thomas-Taylor on T-Roy and the New Age Sensitive Guy apologzies afterwards.  Metzger with a Neck Breaker.  Wallace spins turns Handel around and boots her in the ass.  Thomas-Taylor goes for the pin...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor @ 8:20

Post match, the beatdown continued and Planned Parenthood taunted Handel who was sprawled out on the mat.

Suave noted that Handel may not have handled her issues with Planned Parenthood very well.

Big Oil Promo
Big Oil (R) claims that the end of the world is here because… GAS PRICES WILL GO BACK OVER $4 A GALLON BY MEMORIAL DAY!  Big Oil laughs and calls everyone who complains about the rising cost of gasoline nothing more than a Big Oil wannabe.   Big Oil pulls out a wad of cash and starts counting the bills.  He points to all sections of the arena and says the whole arena was filled with Big Oil wannabe’s.  Then as he leaves, Big Oil points some more people out in the crowd and calls them wannabes!

Suave: “Well, that sucks.”

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein in the back with Rick Santorum.  Bernstein asks him with Rev. Richardson being taken out, who was he considering to take his place.  Santorum, looking very concerned, responded that ‘he didn’t know.’  Then he turned and walked away.

Suave: “Well?  That sucks for him.”

Suave then talks about PCW Champion Daniel-San’s recent appearance in Phoenix Wrestling as part of the CWC Ascension Tournament…

REPLAY: Daniel-San vs. Graham Clausen vs. James Stall
(courtesy of Phoenix Wrestling)
[[Stall grabs onto Daniel-san and throws him out of the ring, before going back to Clauson, who is up to his feet. A boot to the gut backs Clauson into a corner, where Stall starts to unload with some punches to the face, followed by boots to the gut, stomping a mud-hole into Clauson's chest. Clauson gets whipped across the ring, and Stall charges right after, but runs into a pair of raised boots. Stall stumbles away as Clauson gets onto the second turnbuckle, then dives onto Stall to hit a beautiful DDT!]]

Clauson gets up, all fired up after the big move. But here comes Kris Keebler to a series of boos, who’s holding a chair. He gets up onto the apron, but Clauson hits a superkick, knocking him down! But here’s Daniel-san with a roll-up!

1
.
.
Daniel-san hooks the tights!
.
2
.
.
3!!!

Winner, via pinfall on Graham Clauson, Daniel-san.

Suave notes that, of course, Daniel-San snuck in and took the pin from James Stall after Stall had done all the work.

MATCH #2
Arizona Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (R) w/Sheriff Joe Arpaio
vs.
Occupy Wall Street: Nate and Shane (D) w/Adam

[Ruff knocks Shane into the referee.  Then Justice in the ring and sends  Shane to the turnbuckle while Ruff follows with a splash.  Sheriff Arpaio opens up a chair and puts it in the ring...Nate thrown into the ropes...Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair!  Adam protests but can't stop Ruff's frog splash on Nate.   Justice has the taser...*ZZZZZZAP*  Nate drops and the referee makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Arizona Rough Justice @ 6:10

And then it was time for the Minnesota Mayhem match…

MAIN EVENT:
Minnesota Mayhem Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)

Rick Santorum came out next.  Romney got on the mic and wanted to know where his wrestler was.  Then…

*Avenida Revolucion by Chickenfoot plays*

Suave: “What the…are they back?”

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb

The crowd roared at the return of A. Tom Bomb to PCW.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[...A-Bomb and Magnum PO'd still maintain control over Tanaka, hammering on his ribs at every opportunity.  A-Bomb grinds his knee into Tanaka's back at the ten minute mark. Daisy teases a run-in as the crowd goes wild.  Double vertical Suplex on Tanaka.  But when they try to get him out of the ring, Tanaka stops them.  Finally...]

Suave: “Wait a minute…not him, too.”

That’s right, it’s NEWT TRON BOMB (R).  Suave frantically tries to find his gas mask as N-Bomb slides into the ring and sticks his ass in Tanaka’s face.  Then…

Suave: “SILENT BUT DEADLY!  SILENT BUT DEADLY!  OH MY…THAT STINKS!”

Tanaka out.  Both A-Bomb and Magnum cover…1…2…3.

Suave: “TANAKA’S OUT!”

Mitt Romney slams his fists on the ring and watches A-Bomb rolls Tanaka out of the ring.  Then A-Bomb turns to Magnum and rocks him with right hand.  He lifts Magnum up-…ATOMIC POWERBOMB!  A-Bomb covers…1…2…3.]

Santorum bounces into the ring and holds up A-Bomb’s arm.

WINNER: A. Tom Bomb @ 8:25

Suave: “Santorum gets the big win here tonight!  That’s all for PCW Minnesota Mayhem.  We’ll see you on Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN!”

PCW Reno Rage Results
Winnemucca Convention Center
Winnemucca, NV
Saturday February 4th, 2012

Okay, the first question.  Why is Reno Rage being held in Winnemucca, NV?

The Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/John F’n Kerry (D-MA) defeated the Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R)

‘Tin Cup‘ Ray McAvay (Tea Party) got a rare victory over Brad Company (I)

PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I) destroyed Peta from PETA (D).

New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) defeated Dave the Mechanic (I) in a match where he had to have apologized at least seventeen times.

Reno Rage Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)

The crowd was about half the level into Jim Schmidt (R) when he wrestled for Ron Paul as they were for Magnum PO’d.   (Plus, having Robbyn Masters there certainly didn’t hurt either).

Early on, Rev. Richardson did a small move and then inexplicatively jumped on the middle turnbuckle.  He posed for the crowd as if he just scored a pin and then ran into the waiting clutches of Tanaka.  Tanaka powerbombed Rev. Richardson and then replicated his celebration.   Ron Paul went around and high-fived every fan in the front row around the ring.   Magnum PO’d hit the Porsche Plunge on Richardson.  Magnum went for the pin but Gingrich pulled the referee out of the ring.  Paul ran to the back to get another referee.

Meanwhile, Richardson used a chair on Tanaka which only served to royally piss off the Japanese SuperDestroyer.   Richardson then got in his face, there was shoving, and then a choke slam on Richardson.  Tanaka sent the Right Reverend over the top rope and facilitated elimination number one of the match.

Tanaka shook off Magnum’s attempt to Porsche Plunge him and powerbombed him through a table outside the ring for the second elimination of the match.

K-Roy jumped on Tanaka’s back and tried to choke him out.  Tanaka backed hard into the corner turnbuckle and squashed K-Roy.  Then to the top rope, Japanese SuperDestroyer, and time to catch the next flight to Minneapolis for Tuesday’s PCW Minnesota Mayhem.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 10:31

Romney shakes Tanaka’s hand and then takes off to head to the airport.

PCW Tussle in Tallahassee Results
Leon County Civic Center
Tallahassee, Florida
Tuesday January 31st, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

Suave ran down the show.

The main event tonight is a four way Republican dance between K-Roy, representing Newt Gingrich (R-GA), ‘American Citizen‘ Kevin Scott- ‘The Massachusett’s Red Blood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson- Rick Santorum (R-PA), and Jim Schmidt- Ron Paul (R-TX).

Also on the show, Kathryn Randall Collins (D) to put her PCW Women’s title on the line against Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R).

O’Beck Bahama (D) Retires
Suave announced that former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama had a recurrence of Post Concussion Syndrome after taking a chairshot from Christopher Dodd (D-CT), chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America nearly two weeks ago on PCW Politics is War and has retired from pro wrestling for good.

Bahama walked out to a standing ovation from the Tallahassee crowd and thanked everyone.

Then backstage, PCW Daniel-San ruffled a lot of feathers with his remarks about his recent ‘rebirth.’

Daniel-San’s ‘Turn’
[After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora.

 Salinas, an independent with no real allies to come to her rescue, was obliterated by the four on one attack and then decked by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.]

Daniel-San: “That’s right.  I beat up a woman.  But not just any woman- so they say.  The great Valora Salinas.  The Queen of Hardcore.  Former Wrestling Midwest champion.  Former Missouri Valley Wrestling champion.  The woman who could kick any man’s ass in the ring.  And I made her tap.  I stopped her alleged ‘path of rage’ through PCW.  I did that- why?  Because, one, I’m that good and, two,  that’s what I get paid to do.  Let me reiterate this- that’s what I get paid to do.  So when one of my ‘fans’ comes up to me and whines that I fired Mrs. Miyagi, my former manager…”

 *Daniel-San fires Mrs. Miyagi
[Daniel-San (R) comes out with John Creese and the Cobra Cons and calls Mrs. Miyagi out.  As Creese et all look menacingly on, Daniel-San tells Mrs. Miyagi that he will describe her factor in his success in one word: Failure.  The crowd starts to boo.  Daniel-San says Mrs. Miyagi was a failure of a manager, a failure at managing his career, and a failure as a human being.

Daniel-San: “John Creese has shown me the right path to take.  So as of now, Mrs. Miyagi, you’re fired!”

 Again, the crowd boos and debris flood the ring.  Daniel-San calls the audience a bunch of jealous wannabes who’d give anything to be in his position right now.  He now has money, power, and prestige.]

Daniel-San: “…aw, poor Mrs.Miyagi.  How about, welcome to the real world.  If you perform.  If you produce.  You are rewarded.  If you don’t; well, you get fired.  It’s funny, when one of my former fans comes up to me and wants to know why I’ve done what I’ve done- it’s because I am paid to do so.  Why did I hook up with John Creese and his Cobra Cons?  Because they paid me the most to join them.  That’s right, I joined the Republicans because their price was right.  And before you Democrats, start up, be assured, they offered me a whole boatload of money too to join their side.  John Creese’s offer was better.  Let me remind you again, I am a professional wrestler.  I wrestle- I get paid.  I’m the PCW champion; I get paid that much more.  It’s not because of the love of the sport.  It’s because I get paid!”

Suave is still in disbelief that Daniel-San joined the dark side and the Republican Establishment.  There was no comment back from PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I).

MATCH #1- PCW Women’s Title Match
Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK)
vs.
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) w/Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)

Jones didn’t wait and immediately took a side headlock on KRC.  KRC tried to whip her to the ropes but The Eskimo Queen decked her with a shoulder block.  KRC hit a dropkick and took Jones down.  She grabbed the leg and looked for a Figure Four.  Jones stuck her big boot in KRC’s back and kicked her into the ropes.  KRC came back out and Jones nailed a belly to belly suplex and made the cover for a pin.   KRC kicked out at two!…

…Jones lifted KRC for the Eskimo Pieface.  KRC slid out and rolled from the ring!  KRC with a baseball slide!!  Jones swatted her away.  Emily List from behind with a forearm to the head of the Eskimo Queen!  KRC climbed to the top rope and came off with a missile dropkick!!  Here comes Palin!  She raced around the ring and got ambushed by Code Pink.  Palin on the floor.  Emily List hit some kicks to the chest.  Code Pink walked over to Palin…GLITTER BOMB!

Jones back in the ring.  She ducked a KRC right hand and rolled her up.   Code Pink hopped into the ring and…GLITTER BOMB to the Eskimo Queen.  KRC grabbed the blinded Jones and hit a German suplex.  Jones on the mat.  KRC kicked her in the head!   KRC covered…1…2…3.

WINNER @9:25 AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (D)

KRC rolled the groggy Jones from the ring.  List and Code Pink drug Palin into the ring and put her into the corner for some more chest kicks.  They moved Palin up to the top turnbuckle and hit a doubleteam Superplex.  Then this appeared on the screen…

Suave: “Great.  A movie about the 2008 election by Hollywood, who hates Sarah Palin.  Biased anyone?”

Video: “Game Change,” the full-length trailer « Hot Air

The Trailer For HBO’s Game Change Depicts Sarah Palin ‘On The …

HBO’s Sarah Palin-bashing “Game Change” trailer | Mofo Politics

Code Pink and List continued to berate Palin while in the back, the Republicans debated what to do about it.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) wanted to run in and stop the left wing spectacle.  But PCW Champion  Daniel-San (R), his advisor/manager John Creese, and Republican leadership made it clear that Scott wasn’t to do so.

Suave: “And the Republican Establishment won’t lift a finger to help her because they don’t like her either.  She’s screwed.”

Finally, The Tea Party: Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay ran out to break up the mauling.

In the Democratic locker room, KRC, Code Pink, and Emily List was given a hero’s welcome by the Left Wing/Progressive Elitists.

In the Republican locker room, the establishment shrugged and moved on to other business.

MATCH #2- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
TV Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim and Kourtney)
vs.
Dave the Mechanic (AmerHeartland) w/Tequila Sheila

Bobby Bare’s ‘Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila’ played and out came the challenger Dave the Mechanic and his valet, cocktail waitress Tequila Sheila.

Chism puts a pair of designer gloves on so he won’t have to put his hands on the ‘ordinary’ Dave.

Chism hits the Hollywood Blockbuster over four minutes into the match and makes quick work of Dave the Mechanic.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TV CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 4:40

After the match, Chism threw Tequila Sheila out of the ring and continued to attack Dave the Mechanic.  ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) finally came to Dave’s defense.

Then Scott went on and lashed out at the Republican Establishment.  He called Palin a victim of the abject slime pit, win at all cost mentality that our politics have become. Scott added that anyone who once had a 70-80% positive rating in her state and knocked off an incumbent Republican governor with ethics problem isn’t dumb.

Kevin Scott: “It’s bad enough that the Democrats/Left Wing Elitists are now using their Hollywood allies to further trash Sarah Palin in their movies…(see Game Change.)  What’s clear is that the Republican Establishment didn’t want her either and she’s getting it from both sides now.”

Scott then stunned the crowd by quitting the Republicans.  ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) ran out and attacked Scott for attacking the Hollywood Left and they brawled all the way to the back.

Suave then pondered who would wrestle for Mitt Romney in the Florida Four Way Dance.  We’d find out soon enough.

MAIN EVENT- FLORIDA FOUR WAY DANCE
K-Roy (R)- Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R)- Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Jim Schmidt (R)- Ron Paul (R-TX)

The ring announcer paused and everyone looked at the ramp.  First out, the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R), John Creese and his Cobra Cons.  The crowd booed the PCW Champion unmercifully as the group headed down the ramp.  Next out, the leader of the Republicans Rance Priebus.  Priebus took the microphone and announced for ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney…

Yamamoto Tanaka
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Tanaka came to the ring and eliminated Schmidt and Richardson in short order.  K-Roy put up a fight but Tanaka hit the Japanese SuperDestroyer and won at the 6:20 mark.

WINNER:  Yamamoto Tanaka

BREAKING: Romney wins Florida primary, CNN projects

Mitt Romney wins Florida Republican presidential primary

Our analysis of Mitt Romney’s victory in tonight’s primary

Mitt Romney Wins Florida Primary by Double Digits

Romney Romps in Florida

Florida Primary Results

After the match, Tanaka shook hands with Priebus, Priebus handed him a briefcase full of cash, cementing Tanaka’s move to the Republicans.

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Viking Hall
Bristol, TN
Thursday January 26th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave begins but is interrupted by a commotion in the back.

Suave: “Hold on a second.  I’ve been told to send it to PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  Woodward?”

Bernstein is in the back.  In the background, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R) is in the middle of an intense conversation with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL).

Bernstein: “This has been brewing for quite a while.  Brewer and Obama don’t see eye to eye about much of anything.   Ah, here comes Brewer.”

Brewer says that Obama’s upset about what she said about him in her book- Scorpions for Breakfast.   “It is what it is. I proceeded to say that to him, and he chose to walk away from me.”    Brewer adds that in life, we all have our bad days.  Sometimes we say and do things we could all take back.  Tonight, is not one of those days.  She will not be intimidated.

Obama is now in the ring and says he can’t hear a word Brewer is saying, perhaps she should come into the ring.  Brewer retorts that he doesn’t work for Obama.  Obama responds that he is the PCW CEO and she will listen to what he has to say.   Obama says she’s being disrespectful to the office of PCW CEO.

The crowd then roars when Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition comes out.

Blackwell: “And you, Mr. PCW CEO, are being disrespectful to the people of Arizona…and other states by siccing your minions on them.”

Obama tells Blackwell he just made a huge mistake and that he can either apologize to him or face Democrat Yamamoto Tanaka- The Japanese SuperDestroyer in a Falls Count Anywhere match right now.  Blackwell: “Bring it on!”

MATCH #1
Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D) w/Reika

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer
MGR: Mrs. Miyagi

[...Tanaka lifts Blackwell and delivers a back breaker.  Blackwell goes to the floor.]

Suave: “Hold on a second!  What’s John McCain doing down there?”

[McCain (R-AZ), accompanied by Jan Brewer,  sneaks up behind Tanaka with a blackjack.  *WHAP* Tanaka falls head first on the floor.  Reika is pissed off and runs over to check on her wrestler.  Brewer pulls her away just as Blackwell hits a frog splash on Tanaka and then a corkscrew legdrop.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!   McCain interferes in the match?  Why?”

McCain comes over to the broadcast table and grabs a microphone and justifies his interference because PCW CEO Obama can be ‘abrasive.’  When asked for further clarification…

McCain: “Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, had a similar exchange with the president.  It’s very well-known that he has a prickly personality and I think it’s been displayed in both of those cases. And I also think that Jan Brewer is very concerned about the security on our border.”

[Blackwell takes Tanaka into the ring. Blackwell runs in and leg drops Tanaka.  Blackwell follows with a handspring moonsault.  Blackwell then hits a screwdriver on Tanaka and slaps on the Katahajime.  Tanaka has no choice but to tap out. ]

WINNER: Charlie Blackwell @ 8:41

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Brewer’s Book Soars Up Bestseller List

After Obama face-off, Brewer’s book takes off

McCain backs Brewer in tarmac tiff, calls Obama ‘prickly’

Tanaka is furious and storms into PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid‘s (D-NV) office.  Reid is meeting with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and seems surprised to see the huge Japanese wrestler standing before him.  Reika walks in and demands to know where the back up was and how in the hell John ‘freakin’ McCain was able to get a cheap shot on him?

Reid tries to calm the big guy down but Reika isn’t having any of it.  Tanaka was promised a lot of things to come back to the Democrats and he’s been screwed out of a title shot.  Reid responds that Tanaka had a shot for the title and blew it when he couldn’t get past O’Beck Bahama (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).   Reid then tells him that he’s got bigger things to worry about- like the new alliance between the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R) and John Creese and his Cobra Cons.

Reid: “If you want to be useful, help Chism win the PCW title!”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Video Shows Senator Calm as He’s Detained

Rand Paul: “Just think what I would have done if I really really, really irate?”

Suave: “Make more phone calls?”

MATCH #2- Hostages on a Pole Match
Navy Seals 1 and 2 vs. Pirate Captain Jack Suarez and Pirate First Mate Jay

[The two Pirates are in the ring but the Navy Seals are no where to be found.  The bell rings and Navy Seal #1 slides in from underneath the ring.  Bulldog.  Sit down facebuster.  Pirate Jay tries to help but he's cut down by Navy Seal #2.  Navy Seal #1 rolls up Captain Jack...1...2...3.]

WINNER: The Navy Seals @ 1:15

The Seals cut down the hostages and leave the ring.

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona v. President Obama- Dust Up in Arizona

1. Perhaps if the President of the United States would stop using the Justice Department as a hammer against the states, there might not be this outwardly antagonistic atmosphere that permeates Brewer and Obama’s working relationship.

2. Unfortunately, said relationship causes the real issue to be clouded and when there is a definitive security problem on the Mexican border it’s a crime that goes back to the Bush Administration that the federal government has not taken constructive action to secure the border.

3.  Perhaps if the President were more concerned about that instead of how he’s perceived in someone’s book, the people of Arizona, and Texas, New Mexico, and California, might feel a little bit better about the issue of unfettered illegal immigrants streaming into the country.

—-

Suave: “Boy, that was a mouthful.  Where’s my theasaurus?”

Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post walks out and announces that Newt Gingrich can’t win.  Rubin contends that only a candidate who is ‘electable’ should emerge from the nominating process and that candidate is NOT Newt.

K-Roy (R) walks out with Gingrich.   K-Roy says he’s beaten their man, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott not once but twice now.  K-Roy says it’s the Republican Establishment who are afraid of Newt- not the American people.

Rubin tells K-Roy he’s a wrestler and not a politician and to ‘run along.’   K-Roy tells Rubin to tell Scott to get his ass in the ring and he’ll beat it all over the ring…again.

K-Roy gets in the ring but Scott does not come out.  Bob Dole does.

Suave: “Oh, great.  K-Roy’s going to kill Bob Dole in the ring.”

Thankfully, Dole does not get into the ring but reads from a statement:

I have not been critical of Newt Gingrich but it is now time to take a stand before it is too late. If Gingrich is the nominee it will have an adverse impact on Republican candidates running for county, state, and federal offices. Hardly anyone who served with Newt in Congress has endorsed him and that fact speaks for itself. He was a one-man-band who rarely took advice. It was his way or the highway.

Gingrich served as Speaker from 1995 to 1999 and had trouble within his own party. By 1997 a number of House Republican members wanted to throw him out as Speaker. But he hung on until after the 1998 elections when Newt could read the writing on the wall. His mounting ethics problems caused him to resign in early 1999. I know whereof I speak as I helped establish a line of credit of $150,000 to help Newt pay off the fine for his ethics violations. In the end, he paid the fine with money from other sources.

Gingrich had a new idea every minute and most of them were off the wall. He loved picking a fight with Bill Clinton because he knew this would get the attention of the press. This and a myriad of other specifics like shutting down the government helped to topple Gingrich in 1998.

In my run for the presidency in 1996 the Democrats greeted me with a number of negative TV ads and in every one of them Newt was in the ad. He was very unpopular and I am not only certain that this did not help me, but that it also cost House seats that year. Newt would show up at the campaign headquarters with an empty bucket in his hand — that was a symbol of some sort for him — and I never did know what he was doing or why he was doing it, and I’m not certain he knew either.

The Democrats are spending millions of dollars running negative ads against Romney as they are hoping that Gingrich will be the nominee which could result in a landslide victory for Obama and a crushing defeat for Republicans from the courthouse to the White House. Democrats are not running ads against Gingrich which is further proof they want to derail Governor Romney.

In my opinion if we want to avoid a sweeping victory by Obama in November, Republicans should nominate Governor Romney as our standard bearer. He could win because he has the requisite experience in the public and private sectors. He would be a PCW CEO in whom we could have confidence and he would make us proud.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BLITZER’S BLOG: My thoughts before tonight’s debate

Ann Coulter To Glenn Beck: Newt Gingrich Is ‘Pompous And Boring’

Suave: “Whoa!  Bob Dole lays it down against Newt Gingrich!”

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC:    Democratic Rep. Jan Schakowsky (Ill.) re: Keystone XL- “Twenty thousand jobs is really not that many jobs, and investing in green technologies will produce that and more…”

1.  Sure, tell that to one of the 20,000 gainfully seeking employment.

2. The Green technologies who produce jobs- you mean the ones that keep going bankrupt- those jobs?

3.  Really?

K-Roy is still in the ring.  Finally, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott runs out and it’s on again.

[Scott and K-Roy throw haymakers left and right at each other.  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Ron Paul (R-TX) run down but once again they are reduced to being spectators.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HERE COMES CORPORATE MIGHT!”

Big Oil (R)
HT: 6′ 11″ WT: 323, HOME: Houston, TX
FIN: Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver)
MGR: Texas Tex and Gordon Guyko

‘The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R)
HT: 6-2  WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY
FIN: Stock Market Plunge
MGR: Gordon Guyko

[Big Oil and Walstreit hit the ring and toss Scott aside to attack K-Roy.  Big Oil lays the chops across K-Roy's chest.  Walstreit delivers a couple of stiff right hands.  Gingrich is up on the apron screaming at the referee to stop this.  'The Queen of Political Extreme' Ann Coulter runs down and pulls Gingrich off the apron.  Gingrich and Coulter exchange words.  Big Oil lifts K-Roy up...OKLAHOMA DRILLER!]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  BIG OIL JUST SPIKED K-ROY!”

Down runs T-Roy (R) and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (R).  They wade into the fray and it turns into a pier six brawl.

At the top of the ramp, PCW CEO Obama, Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, The California Teacher’s Union, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism all watch.  Big Labor asks Obama if they should go down there and kick some ass.  Obama says that’s not necessary- they’re doing just fine.

PCW Extreme Political TV
North Charleston Arena
North Charleston, SC
Monday January 23rd, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

From PCW South Carolina Slaughter This Past Saturday Night
[...Kevin Scott hits a Russian legsweep on K-Roy.  Roll up...1...2...

Suave: "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!  IT'S THE ALASKAN PITBULL SARAH PALIN AND SHE JUST MADE THE SAVE FOR K-ROY!"

The crowd roars as Palin slides right back out of the ring.  Mitt Romney can't believe it.  Newt Gingrich gets up on the ring apron and urges K-Roy on...]

[...the crowd stands and let's out another roar as Chuck Freakin' Norris hits the ring.  Scott is totally confused by this turn of events.  Norris whirls around and nails a spinning heel kick on Scott and the American Citizen becomes totally unconscious.

Suave: "K-Roy with the cover!"

The referee counts...1...2...3.

Suave: "K-ROY'S DONE IT!  A STUNNING VICTORY FOR K-ROY AND NEWT GINGRICH THAT A WEEK AGO- NO ONE SAW COMING!"]

Suave notes the buzz in the crowd tonight coming off a memorable PCW South Carolina Slaughter show.   And now it’s on to next Tuesday night’s PCW Tussle in Tallahassee, Florida show.  Can ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) rebound from a disappointing loss in South Carolina?  Can Newt Gingrich (R-GA) keep the momentum going?  Can Rick Santorum (R-PA) break through and throw this thing completely wide open?

But first, the national anthem by Steven Tyler…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i25CmHx2kbM

Suave: “Oh, dear…what were they thinking?”

Romney hit the ring and cut a promo with full guns blazing on Gingrich.  Romney called Gingrich an insider who lobbied for big money clients.

Romney: “In the 15 years after he left Washington D.C., Gingrich worked as an influence peddler for his big money clients.  When I was Governor of Massachusetts, I made Ted Kennedy refinance his house.”

This brought Gingrich out.   He called Romney out on the income tax issue.  Romney shot back that after much reflection and soul searching, he decided to put out two years of tax returns.

Romney: “That’s more than anyone else in this race.”

Romney then fired back about Freddie Mac and called Gingrich a lobbyist.  Gingrich said he wasn’t.  Romney said he was.  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”

Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Ron Paul (R-TX) come out and try to get into the conversation.

Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”
Santorum and Paul again try to jump in…

Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”  Gingrich: “No, I’m not.”  Romney: “Yes you are.”

Gingrich: “Wait a second.  I just read that Romney gave John McCain 23 years worth of tax returns in 2008 when he was a candidate to join the ticket.”

Romney: “And your point?”

Gingrich:  “And McCain ended up choosing Sarah Palin (R-AK) instead?”

Romney: “HEY!”

MATCH #1
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/”The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Scott comes out and he’s pissed.   Suave says he’s never seen Scott this angry before.  Scott throws K-Roy over the top rope and grabs a chair.  *WHAP*  *WHAP*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

*WHAP*  After the third chairshot, Scott throws the chair at K-Roy and flings him into the steel barricade.  He places K-Roy face up over the barricade and climbs a table…guillotine leg drop!
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  SCOTT’S  SNAPPED!”

K-Roy somehow pulls himself up and tries to get away.  Scott grabs him from behind and hits a belly to back suplex on the floor.  Scott then pulls K-Roy up and launches him into the steel steps.  Scott then standing drop kicks K-Roy into the steel steps…

…end of match.  K-Roy is bloodied and barely standing.

Suave: “Scott’s in control.  Will he finish the job tonight?”

The crowd turns to the back.  A familiar face ambles down to the ring.

Suave: “What the hell?  FRED THOMPSON (R-TN)?”

Scott sees Thompson and immediately tries to push him.  Romney tries to get Scott to refocus back on K-Roy.  Scott and Thompson exchange words.  K-Roy pulls himself up…K-BOMB!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  DESPERATION K-BOMB BY K-ROY!

Now Scott’s down and woozy.  K-Roy, with help from Fred Thompson, throws Scott back into the ring.  K-Roy rolls in.  Grabs the legs…spins around.  FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!  Scott’s in trouble…Scott can’t get away…Scott taps!

WINNER: K-Roy @ 11:41

Romney is incredulous.  He can’t believe it.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Ann Coulter To O’Reilly: Newt’s Media Attacks Are ‘Like Jesse Jackson Accusing People Of Racism’

Bob Beckel Stands Up For Newt: ‘I Know From My Own History’ Gingrich Isn’t Racist

Romney: Gingrich didn’t earn millions as historian

Romney says his taxes are entirely legal and fair

The crowd stands and gives Congresswoman Giffords a standing ovation.

Recap- Daniel-San’s (I) PCW Title Defense vs. Valora Salinas (I) from PCW South Carolina Slaughter
After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora...

…Salinas was obliterated by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.

Daniel-San (R) comes out with John Creese and the Cobra Cons and calls Mrs. Miyagi out.  As Creese et all look menacingly on, Daniel-San tells Mrs. Miyagi that he will describe her factor in his success in one word: Failure.  The crowd starts to boo.  Daniel-San says Mrs. Miyagi was a failure of a manager, a failure at managing his career, and a failure as a human being.

Daniel-San: “John Creese has shown me the right path to take.  So as of now, Mrs. Miyagi, you’re fired!”

Again, the crowd boos and debris flood the ring.  Daniel-San calls the audience a bunch of jealous wannabes who’d give anything to be in his position right now.  He now has money, power, and prestige.

Creese gets on the mic and tells Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich that Daniel-San is the new face of the Republicans and they’d be wise to show him the proper respect he deserves.

Creese: “Daniel-San is the Republican’s number one wrestler.  Not ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.  Not that redneck hick, K-Roy.  Daniel-San- the PCW Champion!”

Suave: “Well, this totally sucks.”

The crowd continues to litter the ring with debris.

SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST:
Charlie Ray Carlson and the Co-Dependents
‘Shut Up and Drink My Beer”

“I’m sitting at a bar stool
They’ve got the TV on
It’s one of those political pundit shows
Who says the other side is wrong
I ask the bartender to change it now
And I make it very clear
I didn’t come in to hear political noise
I came in to drink some beer

“They say the cover of Fox News could be slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fairl
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer…..

Recap: PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D) Match from PCW South Carolina Slaughter
Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi(D-CA) walked out with Democrat wrestler Kathryn Randall Collins.

Reid and Pelosi told the referee to ring the bell for a PCW Women’s title match.  KRC rolled the unconscious Valora over and made the cover.  Reid and Pelosi demanded that the referee make the 3 count.   He does reluctantly and KRC is given the PCW Women’s Title belt as a result.

Collins is in the ring with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA).  Collins says those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  She has been the PCW Women’s champion not one, not two, not three, but now FOUR times.
KRC: “When you forget your place, Valora Salinas, you become irrelevant.  I am the greatest Women’s champion in PCW history for a reason.”

Pelosi congratulates Collins on her win.  She states that the women’s division now has a champion that young women can look up to.  It’s only fitting that the women’s title is now heard by a Democrat because the Democrats are the natural home for women.

Suave: “Apparently, Ann Coulter isn’t a woman.  Or Sarah Palin.”

Pelosi then denounced the Daniel-San switch to the Republicans.  She says the only way that the Republicans can win is by hook or by crook.

Sarah Mae Smith- ‘The American Girl’ (R): “Okay, it’s getting deep in here.  Ms. Pelosi, what do you call what went down when you stole the title from Valora Saturday night?”

Pelosi responds that Smith’s characterization is categorically wrong and besides, “at least, we did it for the right reason.”

Smith climbs into the ring and confronts KRC.  KRC tells her to leave.  Smith slaps her.  And KRC tackles her.

Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT!”

Pelosi tries to pull KRC off of Smith.  ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R) runs to the ring and attempts to pull Smith away from KRC.  Mass confusion in the ring as the show ends…

PCW South Carolina Slaughter Report
Colonial Life Arena
Columbia, South Carolina
Saturday January 21st, 2012

K-Roy (R), seconded by Newt Gingrich (R-GA) pinned ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) at 16:22 to win at South Carolina Slaughter tonight in Columbia, South Carolina.

Gingrich wins South Carolina GOP primary, CNN projects; Romney second

Gingrich Rolls to Victory in South Carolina

After Chuck Norris hit the ring and connected with a spinning heel kick on Scott, K-Roy hit a K-Bomb on the ‘American Citizen’ to set up the final pin.   Also making a difference in the match, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) who made the save on a pin attempt by Scott.  ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’  Mitt Romney (R-MA) got into a heated argument with Palin afterwards and K-Roy seized on the momentum change to swing the match in his direction.

Post match, Romney vowed that he was in the Republican contest to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) in the fall for the long run.  He also gave Scott a vote of confidence after a tough week that’s witnessed the ascension of K-Roy as a major player in the PCW singles division.

Paul to skip Florida, look for delegates in Nevada, Minnesota

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush to remain neutral in GOP primary

The main event featured PCW Champion, Independent Daniel-San, accompanied to the ring by Mrs. Miyagi, versus PCW Women’s Champion and PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas for the PCW Title.

The match started off with an impressive series of technical wrestling of all things and Daniel-San controlled the early going.  But soon enough, Valora showed just why she is considered PCW’s Queen of Extreme by incorporating a steel folding chair and other sundry weaponry into the match.

After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora.

Salinas, an independent with no real allies to come to her rescue, was obliterated by the four on one attack and then decked by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.

Finally, Daniel-San left the ring with Creese and company to a chorus of boos and debris being hurled in his direction.  To everyone’s great surprise, Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) walked out with Democrat wrestler Kathryn Randall Collins.

Reid and Pelosi told the referee to ring the bell for a PCW Women’s title match.  KRC rolled the unconscious Valora over and made the cover.  Reid and Pelosi demanded that the referee make the 3 count.   He does reluctantly and KRC is given the PCW Women’s Title belt as a result.

Tune in to PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night to see what ramifications there are from what went down tonight.

Romney Can End This in Florida

Newt Gingrich’s South Carolina Upset

Gingrich Wins in South Carolina

To recap:

K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) defeated ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) backed by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA), and Jim Schmidt (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX).

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) retained over PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) with the Labell Lock.  Daniel-San declared his allegiance with the Republicans after the match.

Kathryn Randall Collins (D) pinned PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) to win the Women’s title.

Mitt heightens Newt attack in speech

Palin dubs Newt GOP ‘front-runner’

Newt Gingrich Pulls Off South Carolina Upset, Increasing Chances of Long Nomination Fight

PCW Politics is War on
P-SPAN Report
Bender Arena
Washington D.C.
Thursday January 19th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW! PCW! PCW!”

Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.  The PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) is on his way to the ring with Mrs. Miyagi and Suave reminds everyone what happened Monday night.

Replay-PCW Extreme Political TV
PCW Champion
Daniel-San (I) talks with Woodward Bernstein.  He explains that the reason he is giving Valora a title match is because he’s obligated to defend the title and she deserves as much as anyone else.    Mrs. Miyagi adds that he’s not going to take her lightly before getting cut off by the champion.  Daniel-San then adds that Valora has won titles before and it’s time to see just how she’ll handle a big time match.

Daniel-San gets on the mic and publicly apologizes to Mrs. Miyagi for the way he acted.  He blames the extreme pressure of being the PCW Champion for him snapping like that.  Daniel-San tells the fans he’s lived out his dreams being the champion and he just had a bad night.

Mrs. Miyagi accepts his apology and both head to the back.  Daniel-San holds up his PCW title belt before disappearing into the back.

Suave: “Tonight on PCW Politics is War, Daniel-San and PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas will sign off on Saturday’s match at South Carolina Slaughter.   Stay tuned for that.”

To the ring…

Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall announces the guest referee for our first match of the night- Carnival Cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino!

The crowd dumps all over the captain as he and his blond bombshell Dominica Cermotan come to the ring.

MATCH #1
PBR (I) w/Chief vs. James the Jeep Worker (D)

PBR- HT: 6’0”  WT: 220, HOME: Huntington, W.Va
FIN: Blue
Ribbon Blaster
MGR: Chief

James the Jeep Worker- HT: 5’10″, WT: 221, HOME: Toledo, OH
FIN: The Picket Line

There’s spectulation that PBR may be signing on with the American Heartland Coalition according to Suave.

The match is a wild mishmash with little in ring activity.  Then Big
Union (D) hits the ring and all hell breaks loose.

[...’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big
Labor hits PBR with the Scabbuster!  Union Maid in the ring.  Here comes the California Teacher's Union: 'Foul Pole' Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty!  Golatta...FOUL POLE ON CHIEF!  Chief doubles over from the deliberate low blow by the Foul Pole.  Big Labor and Golatta hold PBR up so James the Jeep Worker can hit the Picket Line on him...]

Captain Schettino tries to restore order…unsuccessfully.

[...The American Heartland Coalition races to the ring: Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables, Mike the Mechanic with
Tequila Sheila...

*Bobby Bare's "Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila" plays over the loudspeakers*

...along with the Walker Brothers: Ronnie and John.  Blackwell with the steel chair *WHAP* down goes James the Jeep Worker.  *WHAP*
Down goes Malibu Dusty!  *ZZZZZAP*  Mike the Mechanic shocks Big Labor with his Jumper Cables.   Democrats and Republicans converge on the ring and it's a near riot.]

Captain Schettino throws his arms up.  He hops out of the ring, grabs the
blonde bombshell, and heads to the back.   However, he’s met on the ramp by PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH).
Boehner demands that Schettino returns to the ring and help restore order.  Schettino refuses and takes off up the ramp to the back.

COMMERCIAL BREAK
Costa Concordia Tragedy: Capt. Francesco Schettino Sparks Outrage
Francesco Schettino vs. Lord Jim: The one literary reference you
Domnica Cemortan Photos Defend Francesco Schettino on Facebook
Moronic Statement o’ the Year (Francesco Schettino Edition
…

Ask any mermaid
you happen to see
what’s the best tuna?
Chicken of the
Sea

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews
the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R).  Palin tells Bernstein that if she had a preference, that Newt Gingrich led wrestler K-Roy (R) would come out on top on Saturday at South Carolina Slaughter to ‘keep the process going.’   Palin stated she wants ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott, Mitt Romney’s wrestler, to continue to have an array of conservative competition.

Palin: “This process should keep going because iron sharpens iron and steel sharpens steel.”

CSM- Did Sarah Palin Endorse Newt Gingrich or Not?
Gingrich on Palin: I would ask her to consider taking a major role in …
Newt Gingrich: Palin’s Comments Are a Signal to Conservatives to …
Daily Kos: Newt Gingrich Promises Palin a Presidential Appointment
…

The Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Daily Kos Markos Moutilsas, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters for America, Arianna Huffington, and Jane Hamsher of Firedog.com march out with PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).   Chism says Palin has endorsed Gingrich and it’s okay, two self aggrandizing attention seekers sticking together.

Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) then walks down to the ring.  She points out that Palin & Gingrich are both unconventional, they
don’t fit into the mold of your typical Washington insider, and they’re not
afraid of a woman.  Chism says Palin is a poor excuse for a woman and tells Jones to get out of his ring.  Jones dares him to do something about it.  Chism slaps her in the face.  Jones kicks him in the groin.

A referee slides into the ring but before anything else can happen, PCW
Security run to the ring and drag the Eskimo Queen out.  PCW CEO Barack Obama’s (D-IL) aide de camp Joe Biden (D-DE) walks out and informs Chism that if he’s going to fight anyone tonight, it’s going to be fellow Democrats Yamamoto Tanaka and O’Beck Bahama.

Biden: “You’ve been complaining about not getting your due respect.  Tonight, we’re going to settle this once and for all.  Per PCW CEO Barack Obama, the winner of this match will become the Democrats #1 wrestler.”

As Tanaka and Bahama come down the ramp, Biden recognizes a group flown in to see the show from San Francisco, California.  He flashes them a thumbs up and congratulates them on their football team’s success.  Biden then adds, “The Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl!”

Suave: “WHAT?”

Bahama and Chism both facepalm themselves.

Joe Biden Congratulates The San Francisco Giants “On Their Way
…
Joe Biden Gaffe in SanFran: Giants are Going to Super Bowl| Brian …

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Rick Perry (R-TX) is in the ring with his wrestler Texas Jack and he
announces that he’s dropping out of the contest to be the Republican
representative to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama in November.

Perry: “I have come to the conclusion that there is no viable path forward
for me in 2012.  I know when it’s time to make a strategic retreat.”

Perry thanks Texas Jack and then leaves the ring.

Perry bows out of GOP race
Perry Drops Out. Endorses Newt. Will Campaign and Serve.
Perry: Newt is GOP ‘visionary’
GOP 2012: Perry dropping out; Newt’s
scorched-earth karma; and a Final Four debate; Update: Perry endorses
“visionary” Newt

MATCH #2
Cathy- the Obnoxious, Bitchy Dance Mom vs. Abby Lee- the
Over the Top, Autocratic Dance Company Owner

Suave: “What the hell is this all about?”

Suave: “As I said, what the hell is this all about?”

[The bell rings and both Abby Lee and Cathy start insulting each other...

*'Meaning of Life' by Disturbed begins to play*

PCW Women's Champion, PCW's 'Queen of Extreme' Valora Salinas (I) hits the ring.  Cathy demands to know what she's doing there.
Valora whips her into the ring corner.  Then she grabs Abby Lee by the arm and whips her and her sizeable girth into Cathy.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[Valora grabs a chair from the outside and slides back in.  She tosses the
chair in the air and hits a standing dropkick onto the chair and smashes it into both women.]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

BACKSTAGE
‘Focus on the Family’ founder Dr. James Dobson, flanked by The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) and The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe, talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  Dobson endorses Rick Santorum (R-PA) for the Republican nominee for PCW CEO.

Dr. Dobson: “Not only is Rick Santorum an authentic conservative; Rick
Santorum is the authentic winner of Iowa.  Look at this…”

Replay: Drama in Des Moines (IA)
Scott gains the upper hand late and Santorum sneaks in and blows blinding powder into Scott’s eyes.  Scott can’t see and Richardson gets ready to drill him with a steel-folding chair.

Dr. Dobson explains that in reality Scott’s shoulders were on the mat for 3
seconds and the referee should have called the match for Rev.Richardson.   He calls for Rick Perry and his supporters to join the one, true ‘conservative- Rick-”

Perry, Gingrich, and Palin walk past the ring.

Suave: “What was that, Dr. Dobson?”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MAIN EVENT- 3 Way Dance- non title
Winner Becomes the Democrats #1 Wrestler
Yamamoto Tanaka (D) vs. PCW Television Champion
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)

[...Tanaka has Chism in trouble.  Bahama hangs back and waits.  Tanaka on the top rope...JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER ON THE WAY!.
Christopher Dodd (D-CT), chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America and advocate for SOPA runs to the ring with a steel folding chair.  He climbs in the ring and blasts Tanaka from behind with the chair.  Tanaka drops Chism who falls back into the ring and falls out of the ring.  Dodd then turns to Bahama and clocks him with the chair.  Bahama down.  Dodd rolls Chism over on top of Bahama...1...2...3.]

Bahama eliminated at 7:19.

[Tanaka, angry after the chair shot, climbs back into the ring.  Chism takes
the chair and waffles him a second time with it.  Tanaka slumps over the top rope.  Chism drags him over the top and back into the ring.   He
covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @
8:02

Dodd gets on the mic afterwards and complains that blackout day is a “dangerous” “gimmick” “designed to punish elected and administration
officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign
criminals.”

Dodd: “It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services.  It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today.  It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.”

Suave: “I’m sorry, is this the same guy who got special treatment from
subprime mortgage companies during the friggin’ meltdown?  Really?”

Daniel-San v. Valora Salinas match signing
After Dodd exits, the PCW Champion Daniel-San (I), accompanied by Mrs. Miyagi, walks out for the Daniel-San v. Valora Salinas match signing for Saturday.  Soon after, Valora joins him.

Daniel-San and Valora both sign the contract.  Before anyone can say
anything, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy. attack again.

Daniel-San gets laid out.  Valora fights back and takes out three of the four
Cobra Cons before the fourth connects with a spinning heel kick and knocks her out.   Creese and the Cobra Cons stand tall in the ring as the show ends.

PCW Extreme Political TV
Winter Sports Ice Arena
Willow Grove, PA
Monday January 11th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

MATCH #1- joined in progress.
PCW Tag Team Title Match
‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) © vs. John and Ronnie Walker

This is a rematch from last Thursday when Big Union obliterated the Walker Brothers and then offered them a rematch.

Last week:
Big Labor cuts a disingenuous heel promo about how, as the Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class, he hated to deliver the Scabbuster to a fellow middle class member.  Of course, if the Walkers were part of a union- that class A, asskicking, they just received would never had happened.  Big Labor says he’ll give Walkers a rematch any time, anywhere.

Big Labor lays out Ronnie Walker with a Scabbuster and then turns to John Walker and smiles.  He lifts Ronnie up a second time and hits him with a second Scabbuster.

Suave: “JUST PIN HIM ALREADY!”

Big Labor makes the cover…1…2…NO!  Big Labor pulls Ronnie up at the last second.   He calls for a microphone and tells the Walkers they showed some guts in showing up here to get their ass handed to them a second time.  Big Labor tells John to pledge his allegience to the true Savior of the Middle Class…

Suave: “That’s Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class.”

…or else he’ll spike his brother a third time.  John turns to the crowd for help.

Big Labor: “You don’t put your faith in the hands of some rabbling scabs.  You put your faith in me.”

John is about to answer when…

Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) 
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 215 HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)
MGR: Kenzie Blackwell

Mike the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)
HT: 5’10”  WT: 202  HOME: Cleveland, OH
FIN: Jumper Cables
MGR: Tequila Sheila

Bobby Bare‘s ‘Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila’ plays as Tequila Sheila leads Blackwell and his Les Miserables along with Mike the Mechanic hit the ring to battle Big Union.  Sheila hands Mike the Mechanic the jumper cables and he knocks out James the Jeep Worker (D) with them.

Blackwell ducks a right hand by Big Labor and puts him in the Katahajime.

Suave: “BLACKWELL’S CHOKING OUT BIG LABOR!”

Down comes the California Teacher’s Union…

’The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (D)
HT: 6’5″  WT: 245, HOME: Warsaw, Poland
FIN: Foul Pole
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

Malibu Dusty (D)
HT: 5’9, WT: 195  HOME: Bakersfield, CA
FIN: Picket Line
MGR: Gov. Jerry Brown

…but they’re intercepted by the Tea Party…

Average Joe
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 220, HOME: Defiance, OH
FIN: Average Slam

NRA
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 269, HOME: Richmond, IN
FIN: Gun Rack (modified torture rack)

‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay
HT: 6′ 2″  WT: 185, HOME: Salome, TX
FIN: Seven-Iron
MGR: Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwald

…The Tea Party brawls with the CTU until…

Occupy Wall Street (D)
Nate
HT: 5′ 10″  WT: 190  HOME: Minneapolis, MN

Shane
HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 185  HOME: Newark, NJ

Adam
HT: 6’0″  WT: 200  HOME: New York City, NY

…shows up…the referee for their scheduled match appears and clears out the ring.

MATCH #2- Six Man Tag Team Match
The Tea Party (R) vs. Occupy Wall Street (D)

[...Average Joe  rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. NRA tags in McAvay. McAvay rolls onto Nate connecting with a knee. Nate gets up. Nate springboard DDT's McAvay onto the mat!  Nate locks McAvay in the Occupy Grapevine submission.  The referee checks for a tap out. ... ... McAvay is fighting the hold.  Blackwell in the ring with a double axe handle and Nate breaks the hold.  Nate sends McAvay out of the ring.  McAvay is in the wrong part of town as Shane swings a Steel chair and blasts him with it.  McAvay is bleeding as a result.  Nate does a handspring and hits McAvay with a bodyblock, what a move!  McAvay with a Salome suplex on Nate that drives him to the floor.  McAvay bites Nate's arm. ]

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[Back in the ring, McAvay hits the cobra clutch suplex.   He follows with an arm wrench and Nate is in trouble.  McAvay with a frog splash on Nate.  He picks Nate up and hits a stomachbreaker.  Tromeo tells McAvay to finish him off and throws him the seven iron.  *WHACK*  Seven iron shot on Nate! McAvay covers...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: The Tea Party @ 16:06

Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) charges down the ramp with the Democrats in tow and they attack the Tea Party.   O’Beck Bahama, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, Big Union, The CTU, Axel Rodd, ’New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor obliterate the Tea Partiers.

Finally, the Republicans respond in kind and send their wrestlers to the ring.  PCW Security tries to sort it all out as PCW goes to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that Jon Huntsman (R-UT) is dropping out of the Republican race to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama in November.

Huntsman: “This race had degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of PCW and not worthy of this critical time in American history.”

Huntsman endorsed the Massachusetts Redblood Mitt Romney (R-UT) and then took a shot at current PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) for engaging in “class warfare” and added that he felt it contributed to the divisiveness in PCW.

This leaves five main contenders left in the race to be the Republican to challenge PCW CEO Obama (D-IL):

Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Ron Paul (R-TX)
Rick Perry (R-TX)

Suave: “Last week, Valora Salinas finally got her wish- a title match against PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) which will take place this Saturday at South Carolina Slaughter.  Here’s how it came about.”

Last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Daniel-San: “All she wants is a chance at the PCW title.  And as the PCW Champion, I’m willing to give her a shot.”

Reid and Pelosi are stunned.  Daniel-San sets the match for next Saturday’s PCW South Carolina Slaughter show and says “may the best man…or woman win.”  Valora escapes from Big Labor and Chism and low bridges both men.  Reid and Pelosi run for it.

In the ring, Daniel-San soaks up the crowd’s applause- not seeing that John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives are sneaking up on him.  Creese signals his gang and they attack Daniel-San.  The Cobra Cons deliver a vicious beatdown of the PCW Champion until Valora hits the ring and makes the save.

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) talks with Woodward Bernstein.  He explains that the reason he is giving Valora a title match is because he’s obligated to defend the title and she deserves as much as anyone else.    Mrs. Miyagi adds that he’s not going to take her lightly before getting cut off by the champion.  Daniel-San then adds that Valora has won titles before and it’s time to see just how she’ll handle a big time match.

Bernstein then asks about the sneak attack on him last week by John Creese and the Cobra Cons.  Daniel-San evades answering the question and walks away leaving Mrs. Miyagi puzzled.

Suave: “That was weird.  And totally out of character for Daniel-San.  What’s going on?”

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title #1 Contender’s Match w/Special Referee: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and Special Enforcer: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. New Age Sensitive Guy Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D)

The match is delay when Chism grabs the microphone from ring announcer Kimber Marshall and rants about the fact that he holds a title but O’Beck Bahama is considered the Democrat’s number one wrestler.  Chism says he’s getting tired of being disrespected and demands that Bahama relinquish his #1 slot to him.

Bahama, of course, tells Chism to stick it in his ear.  Chism attacks Bahama while ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor tries to play peacemaker.  Thomas-Taylor gets a Hollywood Blockbuster from Chism for his troubles.

Then Tanaka attacks both Chism and Bahama and there’s a three way brawl in the ring.  Finally, PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and former PCW Competition Committee Chief Nancy Pelosi (D-NV) rush down to the ring to separate the three.

Suave: “There is no love lost between Chism and Bahama or Tanaka.  None at all.  Chism’s responsible for costing both Bahama and Tanaka the PCW title at one time or the other.”

Finally, PCW Security hits the ring and tears Tanaka, Bahama, and Chism away from each other.

Suave: “For all the stuff about the Republicans squabbling, don’t forget that the Democrats have their loony wing as well that doesn’t get along with the others.”

Suave references the Andrew Sullivan article in Newsweek  which has on the cover this week the caption “Why are Obama’s critics so dumb?”  and then turns it over to Steve Hunter for a new feature on PCW…

Steve Hunter’s Three Sentence Political Commentary- because three sentences is all you need to get your point across.

TOPIC: Andrew Sullivan’s Newsweek article

Sullivan’s article in Newsweek is thoughtful and well worth the read.  The same can’t be said for the idiotic caption on the cover that could have come from the editorial department of MSNBC.  Really Newsweek, I thought only Fox did stupid stuff like this…allegedly.

BACKSTAGE
Snooki aka Nicole Polizzi of Jersey Shore fame tells PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein that Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States.

Snooki: “I thought Trump was gonna run.  But he’s not, right? I would endorse him and vote for him.”

Snooki continued to ramble on until PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) ran in and decked her with a steel chairshot.

Bernstein: “Thanks…I think.”

MAIN EVENT:
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Texas Jack w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
Jim Schmidt w/Ron Paul (R-TX)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)
K-Roy w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Richardson, urged on by Santorum, starts the match on fire and nearly eliminates K-Roy right out of the box.

Schmidt is sluggish from the get-go and ends up being the first one eliminated.  Not a good night for the Ron Paul-ites in the audience.

After Richardson’s hot start, it’s Texas Jack who gets it in gear for the first time in months and starts to kick serious ass all over the ring.   He hooks up with K-Roy and they brawl from one side of the ring to the other.

Like Mitt Romney, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott plays it cool and stays out of trouble for the most part. 

Richardson runs out of gas and gets tossed by K-Roy.  Newt Gingrich cheers while Rick Santorum does not look pleased.

Towards the end of the match, Romney is talking with Johnny Suave at ringside and calls Gingrich super PAC flick the ‘biggest hoax since Bigfoot.  Then Romney calls ‘McCain-Feingold a disaster.  Suave then reminds Mitt that McCain is his biggest, high profile endorsement and sure enough, McCain comes out.

In the end, Kevin Scott gets distracted and allows K-Roy to push him over the top rope and out of the match.

McCain and Romney talk as they head to the back.  Scott is not pleased.

Down to K-Roy vs. Texas Jack; Newt vs. Perry.

Texas Jack on his game but K-Roy is even more sharp tonight.   Texas Jack misses a Texas Lariat and K-Roy hits a K-Bomb and makes the cover.  Newt jumps in the ring and assists the referee in making a proper 1-2-3 and K-Roy wins the match.

Winner: K-Roy @ 11:26

Suave: “Not the greatest night for Romney.  Newt gets a little momentum headed into Saturday’s match at South Carolina Slaughter.   We’ll see you Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.”