Even Samuel Wurzelbacher couldn’t plug leaks from this Vice President’s pipes

Occupy White House aka Obama-Biden Forward 2012 began week three of its campaign to save America from Bain Capital’s former CEO by trashing the relevance of “private equity” and plumbing experience to presidential job requirements and qualifications:

“Your job as president is to promote the common good. That doesn’t mean the private-equity guys are bad guys. They’re not,” Biden said at New Hampshire’s Keene State College. “But that no more qualifies you to be president than being a plumber. And, by the way, there’re an awful lot of smart plumbers. All kidding aside, it’s not the same job requirement.”

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has argued that his business experience makes him best suited to fix the economy and create jobs. Vice President Biden’s remarks echo President Barack Obama’s recent dismissal of profit-making ability in carrying out a president’s job to “make sure everyone has a fair shot.”

Ironically, career politician Biden’s shot at plumbers coupled with the Community Organizer-in-Chief’s fairness “oath” reminds of Samuel ‘Joe the Plumber’ Wurzelbacher’s 2008 rejection of then Senator Obama’s “spreading the wealth” campaign appeal to class envy.

Wurzelbacher, now a Republican candidate for Congress challenging an Ohio Democrat who has served in the House for 15 terms, immediately took exception to the Obama-Biden campaign’s insulting reference to his profession, even if he is deemed one of Biden’s “smart” plumbers:

“I have a question to Biden: Why does he think he can decide who can be president and who can’t? It very much seems like he’s practicing class warfare,” he said.

“We’re supposed to be bringing people together,” Wurzelbacher said. “He seems intent on strengthening his party, rather than strengthening America.”

“The blue collar, we’re the ones that built this country– you’d think we’d have an understanding of how to run it.”

The view from here atop Stone Mountain of Georgia is that Joe the Plumber understands what is the “common good” and the fairness of wealth creation better than Joe & Barack the Smart Lawyers understand their own notions of fairness and common goodness, especially given the woeful results of the latter’s Ivy league-infused smarts over the past three-plus years.

President Obama and a super-majority Democratic Party in Congress ran up record deficits with so-called “stimulus” spending that was supposed to “save” and create millions of jobs. Tax payer-funded government jobs have been so saved and created, but the total number of Americans employed in the private sector today are less than the total employed when Obama was elected, including plumbers.

But Bain-like opportunities are probably greater today since private equity firms are in the business of trying to save that which has already been lost. Indeed, the better way to describe Romney’s Bain Capital  and other such companies is as “job saving firms”, not private equity firms.

Smart Professor/Lawyer/Community Organizer Obama came into office with an America leaking jobs and wealth, and has yet to plug any leak much less produce common good fairness. Surely smart capitalists like Mitt Romney and even an Ohio plumber could have done better, despite their supposed lack of relevant experience.

What wouldn’t be fair would be if a failed President and his Democratic Party yes-gal from Ohio, Rep. Marcy Kaptur, were rewarded for their epic misunderstanding of what constitutes the common good with election victories over Romney and Wurzelbacher.

Mike DeVine

Atlanta Law & Politics columnist –  Examiner.com

Editor - Hillbilly Politics

Co-Founder and Editor - Political Daily

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

More DeVine Gamecock rooster crowings at Unified Patriots,  and all  Charlotte Observer and Atlanta Journal-Constitution op-eds archived at Townhall.com.

Samuel ‘Joe the Plumber’ Wurzelbacher favors Reaganite policies that work

Very few political races this year better encapsulate the stark choices Americans face on Election Day this fall than the contest between Republican newcomer Joe Wurzelbacher and his 28-year incumbent Democrat opponent Marcy Kaptur for Ohio’s Ninth Congressional District seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.

A quick perusal of the campaign website of the Toledo native and Air Force vet, made famous after questioning President Barack Obama’s “spread the wealth” Democratic Party economic philosophy in 2008, reveals Joe the Plumber’s consistent support for supply side policies that have proven effective in the past in fostering the creation of wealth and jobs in the private sector. Joe understands that government doesn’t create any wealth and that policies promising too much Democrat “spreading” prevents the creation of wealth.

Given the stark contrast between the results of the Carter and Obama/Democrat Congressional super-majority years as opposed to the Reagan/Newt-Clinton years, one has to wonder if Democrats  not named Bill Clinton went Rip Van Winkle on us in 1983 and still haven’t awakened.

But a quick look at Democrat Rep. Marcy Kaptur’s website makes one wonder if her party simply prefers politics based upon favors for certain groups rather than policies that produce rising tides that lift all boats. Kaptur never touts any votes for policies that foster the creation of jobs in the private sector, other than for the joke we have all come to know, post-Solyndra, as “alternative energy”. That such a reference remains on her website reveals how out of touch with we the People one can become after 14+ terms in Washington, D.C.

Kaptur also sites her work on congressional subcommittees “to secure vital federal investments”.  You know the kind. The “investments” that require that wealth creators be taxed to support, i.e. bureaucrats that restrict or liberty and seek to control our lives.

Her recitations remind of old remembrances of how much the late Democrat Senator Robert Byrd “did for West Virginia”. Yes, he too could point to government buildings built in that state that government workers occupied for eight hours/day non non-weekends and non-federal holidays. But what about the rest of West Virginia? He voted against all of the successful policies of Reagan in the 1980s and the GOP House in the 1990s.

Kaptur has a perfect pro-Obama voting record. How has that worked out for Ohio. Not so well.

Will Ohioans make the connection, finally, between Democrats and their empty wallets? One hopes so, and if anyone can return sanity to House votes on behalf of Ohio’s Ninth Congressional District, it is the man whose new political career is defined by wealth creation for all in the Buckeye state, Joe ‘the Plumber’ Wurzelbacher.

Mike DeVine

Atlanta Law & Politics columnist –  Examiner.com

Editor - Hillbilly Politics

Co-Founder and Editor - Political Daily

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

More DeVine Gamecock rooster crowings at Unified Patriots,  and all  Charlotte Observer and Atlanta Journal-Constitution op-eds archived at Townhall.com.

PCW Spokesperson Jay Carney announced earlier this week that Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic from the American Heartland Coalition have been suspended from PCW for their actions last Saturday night at the White House Correspondent‘s Dinner.

Blackwell and Mike led a charge of unaffiliated wrestlers into the hall after Jimmy
Kimmel‘s routine and all hell broke loose as the group attacked the Republican and Democrat wrestlers as well as some of the honored guests.

Said Carney:

We simply can’t have this type of unruly behavior on one of Washington D.C‘s grandest traditions- politicos hobnobbing with and showcasing rich elite celebrities and other people with overly inflated visions of self importance.

Carney also noted that this is the second time the American Heartland Coalition has attacked the dinner- harking back to last year’s PCW show where the AHC ripped the event saying things such as:  “While the haves dance at their ‘Nerd Prom’, the have nots have to dance around their deteriorating economic situation and try to make ends meet.”

Also suspended, PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas and the Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski) for their ‘despicable attack’ on the Hollywood guests.

Valora Salinas and the Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

Said Carney:

No one goes to the dinner to see what kind of ridiculous get up Maureen Dowd of the New York Times is dressed in.  They go to see the stars and we simply can’t have loose cannons like Valora and the Mercenaries driving our Hollywood friends away.

Carney also announced that any wrestler not affiliated with the Republicans or Democrats would be ‘excused’ from this Thursday’s PCW Politics is War on
P-SPAN show.  The special two hour show will be split up with the Republicans
taking the first hour and the Democrats taking the second hour to begin tournaments to determine who the Red (Republican) and Blue (Democrat) title holders will be.

Carney noted that the Red and Blue titles will be awarded at next month’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view show.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8
PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) (c) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)
-PCW Women’s Title Match: Miss USA (c) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
-Red Title Match: TBD
-Blue Title Match: TBD
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Viking Hall
Bristol, TN
Thursday May 3rd, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

It was the first show after the big announcement on PCW Extreme Political TV that Republicans and Democrats will be competing separately for the Red and Blue title belts.  Plus, the arena was still buzzing over what went down at the White House Correspondent‘s Dinner aka “the Nerdprom” and subsequent suspensions of ringleaders Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition along with PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas and The Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski).

Suave welcomes everyone to the pre Star Wars Day edition of PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.

Backstage Fun
Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Republican Leader Rance Priebus argue back and forth about who will start the show- the Democrats or the Republicans.

PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) barges
in and pushes Priebus away.  Chism demands to know why he wasn’t chosen higher
in the draft?  Wasserman-Schultz tries to answer but Chism interrupts her and says it’s not fair to put a talent of his stature in that type of position.  Chism reminds her that he represents the Hollywood Left contingent and that’s an important Democratic constituent.

Wasserman-Schultz apologizes and Chism he’ll have a ’preferred’ entry into the tournament to determine the ’Blue’ champion.  The words barely leave her mouth when Big Union (‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) (D) walk up.  Big Labor shoves Chism out of the way and informs Wasserman-Schultz that Big Union is a big supporter of Democrats and if anyone should have a preferred path to the Blue title it’s either him or James the Jeep Worker.

Wasserman-Schultz tries to sooth things over with Big Labor when Extreme Plaintiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher walk out with a legal letter they say gives them a preferred entry into the Blue belt title match.

Then it’s the Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete,
‘Radishing’ Rick Rube- Agronomist, and PeaceNick w/Peta from PETA) who come out and claim their preferred spot.

Finally, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s (D-IL) second in command Joe Biden (D-DE) walks out to mediate the dispute.

Biden: As you all know, CEO Obama has a big stick that he uses to keep order here in PCW.  I know that none of you are red state country bumpkins.  You’re shrewd politicos but I am here to tell you that you are not getting what you want.  We want you all to have a fair shot at the Blue title. We think you all deserve a chance at the Blue title.  Democrats want you all to have a title shot.  So tonight, we’re going to have a battle royale…and it’s going to be the main event of the show!

Outside the Arena
The American Heartland Coalition’s Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, Tequila Sheila, and Kenzie Blackwell huddle outside.  Suave reminds everyone that Blackwell and Mike are banned from the arena because what went down at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

(1) ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) def. Rev. Oral
Hinnrich (R) of the God Squad

Tanaka hit a powerbomb early on and then finished Rev. Hinnrich with the Japanese SuperDestroyer @ :58.

Post match, Tanaka does a commercial for a big corporation who then lavish the former three time PCW champion with cash.

Texas Jack (R) hits the ring and breaks up Tanaka’s party.  He thanks the Republican Establishment for being short sighted corporate jackasses.  He tries to goad Tanaka into a extreme hardcore brawl but Priebus comes out and puts a stop to it.

Priebus says the days of the ‘old’ PCW without rules are over.  The Republican says he’s enacted a series of new rules designed to make the PCW Red belt more corporate friendly.  No more hardcore, out of control brawls.  No more weapons. Only good ol’ fashioned all-American wrestling.    Priebus then books Texas Jack in a match against RINO- The Wonk Machine.

(2) RINO- The Wonk Machine (R) def. Texas Jack (R) by DQ

Good match into Texas Jack got pissed off at RINO and tossed him out of the ring.  Jack grabbed a chair and clobbered the Wonk Machine with it to get disqualified @ 6:03.

Post match, Texas Jack drills the referee with the chair and chases Priebus to the back.

In “The Life of Julia,” the Obama campaign released a web slideshow that takes the viewer through the life stages of a fictional woman named Julia. At age three, a slide says Julia is enrolled in the government Head Start program, which says presumptive Republican nominee Mitt Romney would slash. Later in life, the web tool says Julia received cheaper student loans, a Pell Grant and a tax credit. She benefited from the health care law and in her older years, Julia received Medicare and Social Security.

Backstage
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with ‘the Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).  Romney notes that with the disappointing job numbers out there that the thing Julia needs the most is a job.

(3) Big Oil (R) w/Kirk Walstreit def. ‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R)

In a wild match that saw both men nearly get counted out, Big Oil hit the Oklahoma Driller to defeat Triple R @ 11:28 and move on in the tournament.

After the match, Big Oil got on the microphone and announced that the naming rights to his finisher, the Oklahoma Driller, had been sold for over two million dollars to Chevron.  So now, Big Oil says the finisher is to be called the ‘Chevron Oil Oklahoma Driller.’

Suave: Swell.

Julia
The latest political sensation Julia walks out with Democratic strategist Karen Finney.  Finney calls Julia the epitomy of ‘what women want’ and says if Mitt Romney had his way, she’d be dead in her mid-30′s.

Suave: Huh?

Finney says Julia will now be the Democrats standard barrier to win the PCW Women’s title back from Miss USA.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan
trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to
the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our
political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations
or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire
that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

(4) Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Big Oil def. Magnum PO’d w/ Robyn Masters

Walstreit wins with the Stock Market Plunge @ 7:19 to advance.  Then he got on the microphone.

Walstreit: It’s about time the adults took back PCW and stopped all this hardcore, extreme crap.  It’s over, people.  Go back to your computers and download pictures of Megan Fox to amuse yourselves while the big boys take care of business.  Go back to your Star Wars conventions along with the rest of the job challenged adult adolescents and–

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsyzRUKwgng

Suave: Indeed.  May the Fourth be with you.

Joe Biden‘s Office
Priebus and Wasserman-Schultz are joined by John Boehner (R-OH) and Harry Reid (D-NV) as they bicker back and forth about the format of the shows.  Then…

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.

Obama: I also find your lack of faith disturbing.  Here’s my proposition.  The Red show will get a half hour a week at a venue of their choosing.  The Blue show will get a half hour a week at their venue.  PCW Extreme Political TV will be the home show for the independents/non-affiliated.

(5) Julia (D) def. Kacie Myers

Julia wins but with help from Women for Women (Code Pink and Emily S. List) and then from the referee who ’assists’ Julia in defeating Independent Myers.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S
PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) (c) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)
-PCW Women’s Title Match: Miss USA (c) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
-Red Title Match: TBD
-Blue Title Match: TBD
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

Main Event: Democratic Battle Royale

No one wants to fight- all believe they should get an automatic pass to the title match.  Then newcomer and former PCW Champion Daniel-San (D) runs down and takes out each wrestler one by one.  He tosses Big Labor out to claim the win at 24:41

Immediately after the match, the entire group raced to the back towards CEO Obama’s office as the show ends…

PCW Extreme Political TV
Frederick High School
Frederick, MD
Monday April 30th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave is in the ring to start the show but he doesn’t even get through the introduction before…

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet?
Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.  Both look incredibly pissed off.

Suave wonders if it has anything to do with this…

Replay: White House Correspondent‘s Dinner aka ‘Nerdprom’
It’s the big night.  The stars come out at the gala including Kim Kardashian, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney, Steven Spielberg, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Reese Witherspoon, Daniel Day-Lewis, Martha Stewart, Diane Keaton, Rashida Jones, John Legend among
others interspersed with the ‘Blue’ table with Democrat wrestlers on one side of the room and the ‘Red’ table on the other side with Republicans.

Suave: Because nothing says America more than politicians parading around with celebrities at a time where ordinary Americans aren’t any closer to pulling themselves out of the economic hole they’re stuck in.

PCW CEO Barack Obama gave the traditional joke-filled address…

Obama: Seriously, guys, what am I doing here? I’m the CEO of Political Championship Wrestling and I’m opening for Jimmy
Kimmel?…Why am I telling knock-knock jokes to Kim Kardashian? What is she famous for, anyway?

And then gave way to late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel…

Kimmel: When I think ‘Mitt Romney,’ I don’t think Etch a Sketch — I think of Twister. You can’t even play Monopoly with him, because he keeps putting the dog on the car.”

Both the Blue and Red tables hurled barbs back and forth until Kimmel uncorked this…

Kimmel: Some people say journalism is in decline, they say you’ve become too politicized, too focused on sensationalism, they say you no longer honor your duty to inform America but instead actively divide us so that your corporate overlord can rake in the profits.  I don’t have a joke for this, it’s just what some people say.

*”Can You Hear the People Sing” from Les Miserables plays*

Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic from the American Heartland Coalition charged into the hall with PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas, Politically Incorrect (Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, NRA), The Tea Party (Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay), PBR and Chief, The Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski), Ron Claude Von Dammit, Halitosis, SNAFU, Brad Company, Ken Worth- The American Trucker, and Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer.  Suffice to say, all hell broke loose.

Blackwell hurls two steel chairs at the Republican table and the group wades in.  Dawn McGill uses a kendo stick on Kim Kardashian and then blasts Republican Lani Harlot with a brutal kendo stick shot to the back.  , and that’s enough to draw a “PCW! PCW! PCW!” chant from the crowd. Several celebs try to run away, but Valora Salinas chases them down and levels Martha Stewart with a clothesline. Both Red and Blue tables are engulfed in brawls as McGill goes back to work with the kendo stick before we on a running Reese
Witherspoon.  Svetlana Kovalevski wedges one of the chairs into the door and McGill sends a poor Diane Keaton into the chair.

McGill: And I hated Annie Hall, too!

Elizabeth Banks hides behind Woody Harrelson who tries to talk some sense into Valora.  The probem is Valora’s not buying it and thumbs Harrelson in the eye. Banks gets back to her feet and tries to make a run for it but McGIll connects with a kendo stick shot to her back. Then Kovalevski hits a springboard dropkick that nearly takes Banks’s head off.

Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic make it up to the dias where PCW CEO Obama and Biden long since fled the area and Kimmel simply steps out of the way.

Blackwell: Enough.  The ‘issue’ is the fact that our politicians in Washington D.C. seem to be more concerned about money, power, and re-election than they are actually doing the work that we, the voters, elected them to do. The ‘issue’ is how are we going to get
government to address the myriad of problems ordinary Americans face? Stagnant wages. Rising cost of living. Health care. Taxes. Bankruptcy and foreclosures. As a patriotic, free-thinking, independent, progressively populist American, I’m equally as f’n proud to stand for what I think is right for America and not what’s right for the Republicans and Democrats. I’m even more f’n proud that I
choose to stand with ordinary Americans. You know, the ones who’ve seen their standard of living drop over the past few years and have been ignored by both parties because they’re too busy sucking up to their big money special interests to actually solve their problems.

The Republican and Democratic wrestlers try to get the podium but are driven back.

Blackwell: No, the people who have every right to be angry are ordinary Americans. The ones who’ve seen their government hijacked by
extremists on both sides of the aisle and special interest groups. The ones who fight a never ending battle to feed their families and pay their mortgages with stagnant wages against the rising tide of the cost of living. The ones who don’t show up at expensive fund raisers or write out large checks to candidates. The ones who are losing their houses at an exponential rate to foreclosure. The ones who have to work multiple jobs to keep up and can’t afford the cost health insurance thanks to the greed of pharmacuetical companies, trial lawyers and insurance companies. The ones who’ve pretty much tuned out the political process for the one dollar, one vote, slime-filled cesspool that’s it’s become. Those are the ones who have the right to be angry; not partisans who shine the light on the cockroaches who infest the other parties while ignoring the ones that infest his own.

===========

Obama angrily cuts the replay and says he’s going to deal with what happened Saturday night but suddenly we go to the back.

Both Republicans and Democrats are laying out Blackwell and theindependents.

Then they realize something…and then the Republicans and Democrats go after each other.

Obama and Biden head to the back to stop the brawling as the show ends.

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap
Huntington Civic Center
Huntington, WV
Thursday April 26th, 2012

PCW Extreme Political TV Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
The bell rang and Gingrich, to his credit, took the fight right to Tanaka and promptly ate a powerbomb.

Tanaka, to his credit, dispensed with the gratiutious destruction of Mr. Gingrich and merely dragged him up to the top rope for the cursery Japanese SuperDestroyer. With Gingrich splayed out on the mat, Tanaka put his foot on Gingrich’s chest and the referee could have counted to three hundred and the result would have been the same.

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) hobbles out and talks with the ‘Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave.

Gingrich: Fine.  I’m suspending my campaign.  Are you happy now?

Then Gingrich limps off.

(1) World B. Peace def. PBR w/Chief
PBR is about to hit the Blue Ribbon Blast when Peace snaps ands elbows PBR in the head, knocking him out cold.  Peace makes the cover for the easy pin.

PCW CEO Barack Obama Addresses World B. Peace
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals.
Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.

Obama says he wants to address the whole World B. Peace thing.

Last Night: World B. Peace vs. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate
First Names Given Their Surnames.
Peace swept into PCW earlier in the night with a message of love and peace. Then Headd accidently collided with him and Peace uncorked a nasty elbow to the back of his head and knocked him out cold for the win.

Peace then apologized afterwards and blamed the incident on a sudden outbreak of acne that irritated his face.

Suave: You mean to tell me that the reason he decked him with that elbow is because World Peace broke out?

Biden takes the microphone and says it’s time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt: ‘Speak softly and carry a big stick.’ End of quote.

Biden: I promise you, the president has a big stick.

Pause for the requisite flurry of snickering from the crowd.

Obama: Joe, don’t say that.

More snickering from the crowd.

Obama then announces that ‘he’s had enough’ of the extreme nonsense in PCW.
First, he’s suspending World Peace for two weeks.

Suave: Wait.  Can someone actually suspend World Peace?  Well, besides actually declaring war and such…

Obama then clarifies that he’s suspending the wrestler- World B. Peace.  Then he turns to the big announcement.

Obama: Tonight, just like the NFL is doing in New York, PCW is having a draft.  Democrats and Republicans will get to choose wrestlers to compete for the “Blue” belt (Democrats) and the “Red” belt (Republicans).

Obama added as a special treat, the draftees also get to go to Saturday night’s ‘nerd prom’ aka the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Backstage, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asked Obama spokesperson Jay Carney what about the Independents and those not drafted.  Carney shrugged and walked away.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

In the ring, PCW CEO Obama stands behind a podium a la NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell with Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to the left of him and Republican Leader Rance Priebus to the right.

The draft then began…

PCW Draft
Round One:
Democrats- PCW Champion The Sanderman; Republicans- Yamamoto Tanaka

Round Two:
Republicans- Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker; Democrats- Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker with Union Maid

Round Three:
Democrats- Kathryn Randall Collins; Republicans- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas

Round Four:
Republicans- Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit; Democrats- Felcher and Felcher- Extreme Attorneys

Round Five:
Democrats- Green World Order: “Radishing” Rick Rube- Agronomist, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA; Republicans- Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe.

Round Six:
Republicans- Kalee Jones- Eskimo Queen and Lani Harlot; Democrats- Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily S. List

Round Seven:
Democrats- PCW Television Champion ’The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism; Republicans- Arizona Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor
Justice

The first seven rounds provided little drama.  It was the final round that raised a few eyebrows.

Round Eight:
Republicans- RINO- The Wonk Machine

Suave noted that Mitt Romney’s influence may have pushed that pick.

Then the Democrats stunned everyone.

Democrats- former PCW Champion Daniel-San.

As Daniel-San walked up to the podium, John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives attacked and set off a brawl between the Republicans and Democrats.

PCW Pennsylvania Punditry
Red Crown Bowling Center
Harrisburg, PA
Tuesday April 24, 2012
Play by Play: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) came out and said the race isn’t over until he says it over.  Since no one else in the back is willing to wrestle for him, he’ll take on Mitt Romney‘s
(R-MA) wrestler ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) himself if he
has to.

Romney comes out and immediately agrees to the match.

(1) ‘PCW’s Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas def. ‘Tin Cup‘ Ray McAvay of the Tea Party

Valora tuned up for her upcoming match against ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) for the PCW Television Champion by destroying McAvay.  Chism watched the match with Code Pink and Emily S. List but did not intervene.  After the match, Chism and company left.

Former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Colllins (D) came out and demanded an immediate rematch against new champion Miss USA.

Replay: Miss USA’s victory over KRC last Thursday on PCW Politics is
War on P-SPAN

KRC again petitioned the PCW Competition Committee for relief.  Leader of the Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) came out and told her that he would bring it up for a quick vote.

(2) Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow‘s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother He Never Knew He Had w/Suspended St. Louis Ram Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams def. Ronnie Walker (R) of Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers.

Tebow tried to take out Walker’s knee but John Walker (R) made the save.  After the match, Tebow and Williams went back and met PCW Tag Team Champions Big
Union (Democrats ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and
James the Jeep Worker) to collect their bounty.

Big Union refused on the basis that Tebow didn’t get the job done and a scuffle broke out before security jumped in.

PCW Competition Committee Meeting
Eric Cantor (R-VA) held a meeting for Republicans and tried to rally the troops against sanctioning the match between Yamamoto Tanaka and Newt Gingrich.

Cantor: All right.  I don’t care what you think of Newt, this match should not be sanctioned nor take place.  Those of you who will oppose this, raise your hands.

Only a smattering of hands go up.

Cantor: No, seriously.  Who’s against this match?

Again, only a slight few raise their hands.

Cantor: Oh, come on.  I know Newt has his moments but still…let’s try again.  Those who will oppose this match raise their hands.

Yet again, only a few scattered hands go up.  Meanwhile, on the Democratic side…

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): Okay, those in favor of sanctioning the Tanaka-Gingrich match raise your hand-

Immediately, hands are thrust into the air.  Some put both hands up.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!  WE’VE GOT BIPARTISAN CONSENSUS!  SOMEONE MARK THIS DOWN ON THE CALENDAR!

(3)  World B. Peace def. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First
Names Given Their Surnames.

Peace swept into PCW earlier in the night with a message of love and peace.  Then Headd accidently collided with him and Peace uncorked a nasty elbow to the back of his head and knocked him out cold for the win.

Peace then apologized afterwards and blamed the incident on a sudden outbreak of acne that irritated his face.

Suave: You mean to tell me that the reason he decked him with that elbow is because World Peace broke out?

Hello?  Is this mic on?

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our
political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations
or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire
that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Before the main event, Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner
comes out and announces that former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins will indeed get her rematch with Miss USA for the women’s belt- at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 in June!

Plus, Boehner announces that due to the events earlier tonight that the Competition Committee has voted that Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) will meet PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union:  ’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) for the tag team belts at Loose Cannons Unleashed 8.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8
PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) (c) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)
-PCW Women’s Title Match: Miss USA (c) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

(4) Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Newt
Gingrich (R-GA)

Gingrich came out first and milked the moment for all it was worth.  He spent what seemed an eternity walking around the ring and trying to shake peoples hands until he finally got annoyed and grabbed the mic to berate the crowd, specifically the Democrats. He said he wouldn’t let any Democrats down here touch his calves, which was odd and completely out of character.

Tanaka and Romney came down next.  The bell rang and Gingrich, to his credit, took the fight right to Tanaka and promptly ate a powerbomb.

Tanaka, to his credit, dispensed with the gratiutious destruction of Mr. Gingrich and merely dragged him up to the top rope for the cursery Japanese SuperDestroyer.  With Gingrich splayed out on the mat, Tanaka put his foot on Gingrich’s chest and the referee could have counted to three hundred and the result would have been the same.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ :23

So, now it’s on to PCW Politics is War tomorrow night.
- PCW CEO Barack Obama will make what is being called a big announcement
- Newt Gingrich to also make an announcement

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Mayo Civic Center Arena
Rochester, MN
Thursday April 19th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

The show began with a 10 bell salute to Dick Clark and Levon Helm.

The Band- “Up on Cripple Creek*

PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) again pleaded with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to have her title defense against Miss USA called off.  Pelosi told her that she couldn’t stop the match but that “she wouldn’t be alone.”  Pelosi added that  the women of PCW would rally around her and she’d still be the Women’s Champion after tonight.

(1) NRA of Politically Incorrect w/Ted Nugent def. PeaceNick of the Green World Order

After the match, Nugent met up with PCW Secret Security to discuss Nugent’s (R) comments on Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV about PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and went into an office to talk.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talked with the Japanese SuperDestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R) through an interpreter.  Tanaka, a 3 time PCW champion, says he came back to PCW to be dominant and the Democrats weren’t letting him be that.  That’s why he’s joined the Republicans and ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) and that’s why he says he will be the next PCW Champion when he defeats The Sanderman at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed.

Romney comes in and agrees, adding that once Tanaka becomes the PCW champion that people will see that his judgment is stupendously marvelous and that will put him over Obama for the PCW CEO job in November.

Backstage, Nugent and the PCW Secret Security guys are kicking back and having a few beers as they talk.  One Secret Security guy brags about checking out ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin and they all share a laugh.

(2) Big Oil def. Mitch Thomas- The American Taxpayer

Post match, Big Oil hits the American Taxpayer again and again with the Oklahoma Driller.  Finally, Daniel-San runs out and flattens Big Oil with a steel chair.

Then John Creese and his Cobra Cons attack Daniel-San.

Followed by Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition and his Les Miserables who swarm all over the Cobra Cons and kick them out of the ring.  Mike the Mechanic joins Blackwell in the ring.  Mike gets on the mic and tells the crowd if no one else is going to stand up for the American Taxpayer then the American Heartland Coalition will.

Backstage, Obama’s aide de camp Joe Biden chats with suspended NFL Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams and New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton about the whole bounty thing going on with Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost black sheep brother.  Biden warns them to knock it off.

In the ring, Johnny Suave talks with PCW Champion The Sanderman (D).  The Sanderman says Tanaka is a force and he knows what he’s capable of.  But he swears that he’s going to PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 with the intention of fighting for his title.  The Sanderman rips on Mitt Romney as using Tanaka as his conduit.  “Tanaka doesn’t care what you people think.  Tanaka just wants to hurt people and like the Republicans will go to extreme lengths, like torture, to acheive their ends.  The Sanderman says Tanaka’s only purpose is to replace him with a Republican as the PCW champion.

Next, Nugent and the PCW Secret Security guys leave their meeting joking and slapping each other on the back.  “We’re cool,” one of them says and then thanks Nugent for an autograph.

There’s a quick recap of the KRC- Miss USA feud:

On Monday night, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Miss USA about the upcoming match. Miss USA tells Bernstein that she’s going to prove that a woman can be a mother and hold a career and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Last week, KRC compares Ann Romney to Miss USA giving up her career for over a year to have a baby with her husband. KRC says Miss USA’s decision to put her family over her career is an affront to the women’s movement.

(3) PCW Women’s Title Match: Kathryn Randall Collins (c) w/Hilary Rosen, Code Pink,
and Emily S. List (D) vs. Miss USA w/the Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleviski.

Before the match even starts, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Katrina Vanden Huevel from the Nation, Professor Paul Krugman of the NY Times, and the Huffington Posts Arianna Huffington come to the ring with the leader of the Democrats Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

KRC and Miss USA battle back and forth with the Angry Left Wing Bloggers liberally interfering on the PCW Women’s Champion’s behalf.  That brings down the Right Wing Brigadiers (Michelle Malkin, Tucker Carlson of the Daily Caller, Glenn Beck, and Laura Ingraham) and now we have a brawl going on around the ring with KRC and Miss USA battling inside the ring.

Miss USA hits the Patriot Missile on KRC and covers.  But there’s another commotion.  Mitt Romney’s dog is loose inside the arena and distracts the referee when the dog jumps into the
ring with Ann Romney chasing from behind.

In the confusion, Code Pink sneaks into the ring and tries to hit Miss USA with a glitter bomb.  But Dawn McGill tackles Miss USA and Pink nails KRC instead.  Miss USA hits a second Patriot Missile and makes the cover…1…2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Miss USA

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

PCW Extreme Political TV
Rushmore Plaza Civic Center
Rapid City, SD
Monday April 16, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Nancy Pelosi’s Office
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins barges into Pelosi’s office and demands that she get the PCW Competition Committee overturn the stipulation from last week that gave Miss USA a title chance.

Replay: The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Sventlana Kovalevski vs.
Code Pink and Emily S. List- if the Mercenaries win Miss USA gets a title shot
against KRC
…KRC then interjects herself into the match by dragging Kovalevski out of the ring and List locks McGill up in the Abdominal Stretch. List, seeing McGill’s daughter ringside, starts taunting her. Then she lifts McGill up to body slam her and feels a sharp pain in her derriere. She drops McGill and turns around to see McGill’s 2 year old daughter smiling. List,
distracted, then gets walloped by a kendo stick shot by McGill and that’s all.

McGill gets the pin and Miss USA gets her title shot coming up Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.

Pelosi doesn’t make any promises but tells KRC she’ll see what she can do.

Suave starts the show in the ring with the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D).  Democrats Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) accompany him ringside.

Replay: The Sanderman’s win over former PCW Champion Daniel-San at a
PCW House Show to win the title.

The PCW Champion says there is not one second  that he ever thought he was going to lose once he got in the ring with Daniel-San.  The Sanderman says he had the Democrats behind 100% his win proves that a true champ retains the will to win even through their most disappointing setbacks.  He says he hasn’t been in PCW all that long but he wondered how everyone would react after he won the belt.  The crowd cheers.

The Sanderman blasted Daniel-San for lashing out and making excuses. The crowd chants “What A Loser.”  Suddenly, the crowd roars as Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and Mitt Romney (R-MA) appear at the top of the ramp.  Tanaka strides down the ramp and climbs into the ring.

Suave announces that the main event for June’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV will be Tanaka vs. The Sanderman for the PCW title!  The crowd roars again.

Tanaka nods and then offers The Sanderman a handshake.  The Sanderman accepts and then Tanaka boots him in the stomach.  Powerbomb.  Then he drags the champion to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER!  Romney claps and then gets on the microphone to tell PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) to ‘start packing.’

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8
PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR
NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

(1) Daniel-San defeats Brad Company

Company, still waiting for the PCW Super Court to render its decision concerning health care, falls victim to the Labell Lock.  Post match, John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives attack Daniel-San again.

Mrs. Miyagi and Halitosis race down to make the save again.  But then…

Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

Tebow and suspended St. Louis Rams Defensive Co-ordinator Gregg Williams hit the ring and attack Halitosis.  Williams throws Mrs. Miyagi from the ring and Tebow then uses a lead
pipe on Halitosis’s knee.  Then he blasts him in the head with the lead pipe and then leaves with Williams after collecting a bounty from Creese and the Cobra Conservatives.

PCW Competition Committee Meeting
Pelosi makes the case that the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot this Thursday night should be vacated.  Predictably, John Boehner (R-OH) is against it.  They vote and defeat
Pelosi’s measure largely along party lines.

Undaunted, KRC vows to take it to the PCW Executive Committee.

Suave talks about the recent controversy involving Pippa Middleton and the driver of a car she was riding pointing a gun at paparazzi.

M de Soultrait: “Pippa is a very good friend of mine and this gun affair is very silly. It was a children’s toy that the driver had in his car. Pippa thought it was funny. It is fine in France to do that and the police are not investigating,”

Suave: Ahhhh.  That explains France’s performance against the Germans in World War 2- toy guns.

Then famed rocker, ‘The Motor City Madman’ Ted Nugent strolled out with the other members of Politically Incorrect.

Politically Incorrect (from left): NRA, Andrea Doria (up), Al Cahall (down), and Nic Koteen

Nugent says the whole French thing is overblown and another reason that if Barack Obama is still the PCW CEO after November, he will be dead or in jail.

Suave: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Nugent: Our CEO, and legal counsel, our second in command, Hillary Clinton — they’re all criminals.  We’re Americans because we defied the king. … We are patriots, we are bravehearts. We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November like those Frenchy types did during the French Revolution.

Suave calls Nugent’s comments ‘strong’ (a vertiable understatement) and wonders if that will get the attention of PCW Secret Security force.

Box Suite Above the Arena
PCW Secret Security parties hard with members of the GSA.  Even Hillary Clinton (D-NY) is there swigging beers and dancing around.

Suave: Or maybe not…

(2) PCW Tag Team Non-Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: The Walker Brothers- Ronnie and John (R) def. Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker

Post match, both teams continue to brawl with Ronnie Walker and James the Jeep Worker fighting into the crowd while John Walker and Big Labor fought in the ring.

PCW Executive Committee Meeting
Harry Reid makes the case to vacate the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot Thursday night.  But the Republicans filibuster the measure and the Democrats can’t get the 60 votes
needed to stop it.

KRC angrily walks out of the room.

Backstage
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Miss USA about the upcoming match.  Miss USA tells Bernstein that she’s going to prove that a woman can be a mother and hold a career and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Ann Romney walks out to join the conversation.  Mrs. Romney offers to be in Miss USA’s corner Thursday night.  Bernstein notes that Hilary Rosen (D) is going to be in KRC’s corner for the match.

Miss USA turns Ann Romney down and says she doesn’t want to make this a political battle.  Besides, she’s got all the back up she needs in…

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana
Kovalevski

The Three Stooges Appear
Larry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) come out and entertain the crowd with their eye gouges, the nyuk nyuks, the open handed slaps and the other forms of physical comedy.  Suave wonders if the Three Stooges movie can unseat ‘The
Hunger Games at the box office.

Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss in the movie ‘The Hunger Games’) walks out and whips out her bow and shoots three arrows striking each Stooge.  The trio fall to the ground.

Suave: Guess that’s a no.

Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Back in the ring, Suave talks with Mitt Romney and Yamamoto Tanaka.  Romney says he is going to introduce the new face of PCW—a man who will carry the PCW banner for years to come.  The crowd boos as Tanaka raises his hands.

Tanaka, through an interpretor, thanks Romney and gets more boos from the audience.  Romney says Tanaka brings legitimacy back to PCW and he’s immediately interrupted by the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D).

The Sanderman doesn’t even bother with pleasantries as he charges Tanaka and a brawl ensues.  Romney bails as both men unload on each other.  PCW Security hits the ring to separate the two as the show ends.

PCW Never a Dull Moment in Denver Recap
Ogden Theater
Denver, CO
Saturday April 14th, 2012

The show began with ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) coming out and taking an ad-hoc victory lap around the theater to celebrate his presumed coronation as the Republican opponent for PCW CEO ‘The Political Natural’ Barack Obama (D-IL) in the fall.

Newt Gingrich then stormed out and demanded a one on one match against Romney.  Gingrich then was grabbed by security and then forcibly dragged out of the building while shouting “THIS IS ALL FOX NEWS’S FAULT!”

(1) The Green World Order: Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee w/GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA def. Politically Incorrect: NRA and Nic Koteen w/ Al Cahall and Andrea Doria with Guest Referee MSNBC‘s Rachel Maddow.

NRA nearly had the Extreme Vegan pinned but Maddow pulled up before finishing the three count.  Rube then broke a flower pot over NRA’s head and Brock Cole Lee hooked the legs for the pin.

After the match, the GWO forced the crowd to watch those hideous anti-smoking ads that’ve been playing on TV…

Anti-Smoking Commercial 2012

Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition came out with his Les Miserables and offered his own graphic, hard hitting commercial.

1) A family leaves their house after it’s been foreclosed on by the bank
2) A husband and wife fight because money is tight and the bills aren’t getting paid
3) An employee is informed that he will not be getting a pay increase this year and should be just thankful he has a job.
4) The printing press keeps on printing money because Republicans and Democrats continue to spend it at record levels and run up huge federal deficits and debt.
5) Finally, the most disgusting part of the commercial, Republican and Democrat special
interest groups feeding from a large Federal trough paid for by the American Taxpayer.

Democrats The Sanderman- also PCW Champion and  ’The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism- PCW Television Champion run down to the ring at the same time the Republican Establishment (Corporate Might’s Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit) do.  They bump into each other and an awkward moment ensues.

Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books.  J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

(2) Tommy Tebow def. SNAFU in a hard hitting, hardcore showdown.

Post match, Tebow went up to former New Orleans Saints Defensive Co-ordinator Gregg Williams and collected a bounty for knocking SNAFU out.

PCW REWIND: May, 2011

Pippa Middleton dances in her bra for the PCW crowd.

Hilary Rosen (D) accompanied the PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) to the ring.  Rosen points up to the box where Mitt Romney is celebrating with his wife Ann and mocks Romney saying his wife helped him understand the economic challenges women face.

Rosen: “Guess what?  His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.  She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future.”

KRC then compares her to Miss USA giving up her career for over a year to have a baby with her husband.  KRC says Miss USA’s decision to put her family over her career is an affront to the women’s movement.

Miss USA

Out walks Miss USA flanked by the Mercenaries…

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

McGill, holding a kendo stick in one hand and her daughter’s hand in the other, and Kovalevski, carrying her son, challenge Code Pink and Emily S. List (D) to a match with a stipulation- if the Mercenaries win, KRC must put her PCW Women’s title on the line against Miss USA.  If they lose, Miss USA, McGill, and Kovalevski will leave PCW.

KRC accepts and the match is on.

(3) The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski w/Miss USA vs. Code Pink and Emily S. List w/PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

Code Pink goes for the glitter bomb early but it backfires – literally.  Pink blinds herself and she’s on the shelf for the rest of the match leaving List to fend for herself against McGill and Kovalevski.

Hilary Rosen tries to intervene but out of nowhere Ann Romney runs to the ring and tackles her. Rosen and Romney roll all over the ring causing ‘The Voice of PCW’ to shout:

Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT!

KRC then interjects herself into the match by dragging Kovalevski out of the ring and List locks McGill up in the Abdominal Stretch.  List, seeing McGill’s daughter ringside, starts taunting her.  Then she lifts McGill up to body slam her and feels a sharp pain in her derriere.  She drops McGill and turns around to see McGill’s 2 year old daughter smiling.  List, distracted, then gets
walloped by a kendo stick shot by McGill and that’s all.

McGill gets the pin and Miss USA gets her title shot coming up Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.

PCW Extreme Political TV
Campbell-Chapman Sports Complex
Sullivan,
MO
Tuesday April 10th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his life
size cardboard cut-out of Shania
Twain

Suave introduces Arkansas Head
Football coach Bobby Petrino who walks out slowly with his neck in a brace
and his face all scraped up.  Suave asks him about the accident and why he
conveniently forgot to mention to AD Jeff Long that he had his 25 year old
mistress on the back of his motorcycle with him.  But before Petrino can answer,
some guy wearing an Arkansas Razorback shirt complete with Hog hat jumps Suave and
then challenges anyone to a match.

*Def Leppard’s
Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!

‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango
Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO
FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait
another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down –
If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Petrino: Oh, snap.

(1) ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot def. The Arkansas
Kid w/Coach Bobby Petrino
WTF grabs The Arkansas Kid by the
throat…lift…CHOKESLAM!  He puts his foot on his chest…1…2…3.

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!

Post match, AD Jeff Long comes out.

Long: Coach Petrino.  You’re FIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!

BACKSTAGE
Rick Santorum (R-PA) enters the building with A.
Tom Bomb (R) and his entourage.

Suave: The hot
rumor is that Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign tonight.  Is this the end
of the Republican
contest?

(2) ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) def.
Daniel-San
Tanaka, Mitt Romney’s (R-MA) wrestler, came out when
Daniel-San called out John Creese and the Cobra Cons for attacking him last week
during his match against Steve Torino- Car Salesman.

…Each man grabs a chair and they trade dueling chair shots.  Creese helps
Tanaka get the advantage by kicking Daniel-San low from behind.

Mrs. Miyagi runs into the ring out of nowhere with Halitosis- The Insane
Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath and protects Daniel-San.
Halitosis suplexes Creese on a chair.  Halitosis then grabs a chair but then the
Cobra Cons attack.  Creese pulls a metal spike out of his pocket and
jabs Halitosis in the head with it!  He blasts Mrs. Miyagi with a chair shot and
then nails Daniel-San with the chair as well.

Tanaka drags him to the top rope and ends the match with a Japanese
SuperDestroyer for the academic three count.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8
PPV:
-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’
Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY
FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel
(R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine
(D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

Suave notes Brown v Warren was an oversight from last week.

(3) ‘The Self
Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Mitch Thomas- American
Taxpayer
Again, the American Taxpayer no match for his opponent.
Post match, Big Labor continued to beat Thomas down until Chris Christie (R-NJ)
and Scott
Walker (R-WI) ran out to make the save.

That brought out Big Labor’s tag team partner and co-holder of the PCW Tag
Team title James the Jeep Worker (D) which brought out Scott Walker’s Rangers:
John and Ronnie Walker and another brawl broke out.

Suave then reports on the Brad Company-Health Care- PCW Super Court
situation. Following arguments made before the Super Court, the
matter was now in the hands of the Super Court justices to make their
decision.

PCW Hall of Fame Class Announced
Suave announced the
inductees to the PCW HOF:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and
Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott)
(R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The
Mastermind’ Karl Rove

The class will be inducted at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV in
June.

Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Santorum walks out and climbs into
the ring.  He takes the microphone and confirms that he is suspending his
campaign.

Santorum: We made a decision over the weekend that while
this PCW CEO race for us is over, for me, we are not done fighting.  We had a
difficult week with our daughter but Bella is a fighter and is doing
exceptionally well.

Santorum then vowed to continue the effort to defeat PCW CEO Barack Obama
(D-IL) in November.

(4) Miss USA vs. Emily S. List (D)- no contest
PCW
Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) and Code Pink both ran in and
helped List destroy Miss USA.

*Sabotage by the Beastie Boys begins to play*

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana
Kovalevski

McGill and Kovalevski run down and make the save.  McGill
hits the Blunt Force Trauma on Code Pink while Kovalevski levels KRC with the
Russian Crucifix.

Suave: It appears that Miss USA no longer stands alone
against the PCW Women’s champion and the Democrats.

PCW is in Denver this Friday night.  See you then.