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Outrage over changes to the “It’s a Small World Ride” a welcome break over outrage over Obamanomics

By: tankertodd (Diary)  |  February 5th, 2009 at 02:20 PM  | 

RESIZE: AAA

Promoted from the diaries because I needed a chuckle and you might too. And Tankertodd is on the money with this. Water boarding has nothing on “It’s a Small World”. –Erick

I had to chuckle when reading this story about Disney Nerd outrage after hearing that Disney is updating the “It’s a Small World Ride” at Disney World.

I chuckle because I took a vacation to Disney World in December and I still want the hour of my life I spent at that ride back from the Grim Reaper.

To emulate Roger Ebert’s greatest review ever, I hated this ride.  Hated hated hated hated it.  As a Disney shareholder, I think it is in Disney’s fiduciary duty to destroy this ride and put up something more worthwhile.  Elderly transport device (ETD) parking or a pretzel stand are some examples.  I am shocked that these Dis-Nerds would complain that Disney is attempting to make the ride relevant to today’s world since it is simply irrelevant in its current form.

I’ve seen better animatronics on “Mythbusters.”  The style is the worst of the 60′s.  Beehive hairdos are less dated than this ride.  The over-optimism obscures the current world today.  I had to wonder how many of the cultures featured in the ride would be happy to throw tomatoes at the Americans gliding by their displays if given the chance.  And I was trying to recall what element of Disney magic was present when I looked up at the ceiling and saw ordinary officespace tiling.  Very odd.

And the song!  The song the song the song!  Give me an hour of William Hung first.

This ride is so bad I fully expect there to be a provision in the porkulus package to fund studies on how to build more shining examples of this nauseating tripe.  At least under President McCain we would spend the money to learn how we could turn this into a psychological weapon.  The thought of developing a portable version of this ride at Gitmo makes me pine for days before we elected Obama.  I’m sure the ride doesn’t fall under the new definition of torture (although I still don’t know what that is.)

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  • IJB

    I think the ride “broke down”. So, we didn’t move – stuck in the same part of the ride for quite some time.

    Anyway, it was the most horrifying experience of my life. No wonder I got a migraine about an hour later!!

  • Jay_Cee

    “I?ve seen better animatronics on ?Mythbusters.? The style is the worst of the 60?s. Beehive hairdos are less dated than this ride. The over-optimism obscures the current world today. I had to wonder how many of the cultures featured in the ride would be happy to throw tomatoes at the Americans gliding by their displays if given the chance. And I was trying to recall what element of Disney magic was present when I looked up at the ceiling and saw ordinary officespace tiling. Very odd.”

    You know, this is exactly why I love disneyland. Its the nostalgia! Its this little bit of frozen Americana from an earlier epoch. State of the art animatronics? Boring! Antique animatronics from the 50s or 60s? Now you’re talking. The raw idealism that they project there amazes me everytime I go (only twice actually, I’m not a proper disney-nerd). Sure they could bulldoze the park and replace it with another Six Flags over LA with stomach-churning rides, but there is only one disneyland (with its small world) and I don’t think our modern society could produce another one. Post-vietnam cynicism maybe? We should appreciate it as a museum instead of an amusement park.

    • $peciallist

      because we would have a Problem…if they were talkin bout DisneyLand…..

  • NightTwister

    from having a “Small World” lunchpail when I was in grade school. It’s possible my parents listened to A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash too many times.

  • tankertodd

    And NightTwister I am quite certain that there’s something in the $900B package to address your issues.

  • cump

    however, try it on a slow day…with your wife and 4 year old daughter. And, they say “since it is so slow you can go again if you want”…she did…and so did my daughter…UGH!

    Psychological warfare is in full force at Disney. All they need to do is offer a gift shop in the middle of the ride offering mandatory purchases for quick escapes. I’d spend money on an oversized smiling Goofey. Their profits would rise, meaning they would have to purchase more product…meaning factories would have to produce more, meaning they need more workers…meaning…the global economy is saved! All from a 1960 disney ride…that Walt, he was a true visionary!

    Last thought…Try pretending you are a Somali Pirate and find the countries you have already stolen from…or those you have yet to plunder..>ARRRGH

  • cump

    however, try it on a slow day…with your wife and 4 year old daughter. And, they say “since it is so slow you can go again if you want”…she did…and so did my daughter…UGH!

    Psychological warfare is in full force at Disney. All they need to do is offer a gift shop in the middle of the ride offering mandatory purchases for quick escapes. I’d spend money on an oversized smiling Goofey. Their profits would rise, meaning they would have to purchase more product…meaning factories would have to produce more, meaning they need more workers…meaning…the global economy is saved! All from a 1960 disney ride…that Walt, he was a true visionary!

    Last thought…Try pretending you are a Somali Pirate and find the countries you have already stolen from…or those you have yet to plunder..>ARRRGH

  • cump

    someone kill it!

  • cump

    someone kill it!

  • pithnvinegar

    I read that ‘All Hail the Chief’ is being phased out. This would fit perfectly with a message of Hope and Change for the world!!

    we could always rework the lyrics a bit . .

    There are blacks and whites, Red States and some blue
    It’s a world of Arabs, a world of Jews
    there’s so much that we share
    That it’s time we’re aware
    It’s a new world after all

    wait . . .let me break out the Karaoke machine

  • Ed54

    Ebert is good, and perhaps the overall review is better. However, I think the best opening line in a movie review ever goes to Rita Kempley’s [url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/entertainment/movies/reviews/battlefieldearthkempley.htm]WaPo review[/url] of Battlefield Earth:

    [quote]A million monkeys with a million crayons would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as “Battlefield Earth.” [quote]

  • Shoebox

    Little known is that the ride was originally created as tool for Disney to use in contract negotiations. Any vendor who wanted to work with Disney was left on the ride until they caved on whatever point was contentious. I understand Disney licensed the ride to Walmart for use in their vendor relationships.

  • http://www.RedState.com/ETCartman Kenny Solomon

    One word: Macarena.

    ;)

    Cheers !

  • Brian Hibbert