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    General Screwtape Gets His (Expletive) Chewed

    It was Zeero-Dark-30 on a bleak December Morning. General Screwtape kind of knew this was coming since the first Tuesday in November. His rather unique and stylish “Master of Puppets” ringtone awakened him. He was not too surprised when he recognized the number as Brimstone HQ.* It wasn’t going to a pleasant morning. The (expletive) – chewing began with gusto.

    “Screwtape! You misbegotten spawn of Beelzbubba! I sent you to America to wage a half-way decent War on Women, and the best you could do is have that idiot Romney put them in binders! And those deals where they only get paid $0.70 for every $1.00 the men get – you’ve seen what’s happened to Male U6 Unemployment, you (expletive)! Sandra Fluke is sending you the tab for her birth control. I’m ordering you to pay it as penance for your pathetic screw-ups! Now I’m feeling particularly jolly this fine morning.**Because of that, I’m sending you a file to read that might save your wretched and villainous career. This here tells you how China keeps the Little Ladies in their proper place!”

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    Hijacking the Senseless Brutality of a Selfish and Iniquitous Man

    If I were to write an obituary for deceased Kansas City Chiefs Linebacker Jovan Belcher, I would suggest he was a talented athlete with poor impulse control who threw away the opportunity to live a happy and fulfilling life by refusing to properly marry the mother of his child. He instead argued with her, chased other women, went home intoxicated and shot her nine times with one of his weapons. He then drove his Rolls Royce to his workplace and deliberately killed himself in front of his coach and the GM who hired him. The child, the girlfriend, The Head Coach and the team GM all suffered the murderous and suicidal tyranny of the selfish.

    But many other people have reasons why Jovan Belcher, shot himself and the mother of his 3-month old baby on Saturday 1 December. They have nothing to do with any decisions made by the 25-year-old adult and generally dove-tail conveniently with ideological causes that these individuals believe in. For example, according to Congresslady DeGette from Colorado, Javon belcher killed neither himself, nor the mother of his three month old baby. The gun leapt out of his hand both times and did it for him.

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    Implosion!

    Events get driven by something. The motive power behind what happens in policy and politics can often lie hidden like the mass of an iceberg underneath the sea. Those who bother wondering why President Obama refuses to compromise on anything in order to avoid the “Fiscal Cliff” theorize two primary things. Barack Obama plays the PR angle to make Rethuglicans appear as the political subsumed class* of lackeys to the E-Vil Rich. Others assume he’s Richard Roundtree** and he’s sticking it to the man.

    Both of these conjectures see only the tip of the iceberg. There are two possible errors in assuming either explains our President’s behavior in total. The first mistake is to assume that Barack Obama completely drives this train. The second is to assume that he reacts totally based on his ideological battles against Conservatism. Assuming a bond fealty between Barack Obama and his committed core of followers causes me to realize that President Obama (and much of the rest of the professional left in America) has strapped himself in for a ride on the tiger. He’s driving the bus from the movie “Speed.”

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    Getting The Revenge They Voted For – Practical Uses of The Fiscal Cliff

    Well, well, well. We have another crisis. It’s called “The Fiscal Cliff” and it just can’t go to waste. Somewhere, probably in the same non-descript warehouse that the GOP stores Dick Cheney’s old weather control ray, Evil Republicans are plotting….They want to steal MY2K!*

    Well, no. They don’t want to steal anyone’s 2K and they lack the power to if they tried. This is not MY2K. This money belongs to people who generally (but with some hideous exceptions) are among the smartest, hardest-working and capable in America. I wrote earlier concerning the morally detestable class-warfare Democrats.

    Any person who voted for Barack Obama for the express purpose of having him utilize the US tax and regulatory apparatus to take money away from the rich and give it to them personally, is the moral equivalent of a bank robber. Neither I, nor any other person alive, is entitled to two red cents out of another person’s stash just because we don’t have as much.

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    The GOP Sugar-Daddy

    The General Accounting Office estimated that domestic sugar producers reaped about $1 billion in 1998 as are result of this policy. However, 42 percent of the total benefits to sugarcane and sugar beet growers went to just one percent of all producers; indeed, just seventeen sugarcane farms collected over half of all the cane growers’ benefits.

    (HT: Café Hayek.com)

    So let’s say someone on your Christmas List is lucky and up there in The Iniquitous 1%™. Let’s furthermore assume that She/He/IT cares about the 99%™ almost as much as Senator Warren and Ward Churchill bleed Indian Red, but not quite. What do you get the ruthless, plutocratic (expletive) that has everything for Christmas? The answer is obvious. !More Government!

    Here’s how Proud Republican Congressman Tom Rooney helps fill the stocking of Amerikan Agri-OPEC.

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    Dispatch From Lisbon

    “There appears to be an enormous divergence between what the Portuguese believe the state should deliver and the amount of taxes they are prepared to pay,” he told parliament recently.

    – Vítor Gaspar, Portuguese Minister of Finance (HT: Ft.com)

    It helps from time to time to get out that old set of notes from Economics 101 and give them a snappy re-read. On day 1 of the class, you get introduced to The Fundamental Problem of Economics. This cute little chestnut states that economics attempts to meet insatiable demand with limited resources. No feasible solution exists that is also optimal. The debate thus ensues over who gets fed and who gets (expletived).

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    Our Lord And Savior Emperor Barack I

    In the Potemkin world of Hollywood, President Barack Obama is held in a level of esteem that good men of ages past would have deemed utterly blasphemous. Jamie Foxx describes him as “Our Lord and Savior.” His political enemies are demonized and ridiculed. “Mitches” don’t really believe anything and are basically all just racist. But to truly see how Emperor Barack I’s act plays, it helps to see how his fellow world-leaders view our own almighty Nobel Peace Prize Winner.

    We saw this in Blu-Ray as our Glorious Lightworker went east to conduct his post-election victory tour. It didn’t quite work out as well as he would have hoped. Amerika’s recently reelected Dominus et Deus, Barack H. Obama I, decided he would inaugurate a Trans-Pacific Partnership that would draw South-East Asia closer to the US and further from Communist China. It was almost like we were going back to Vietnam to win more hearts and minds.

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    Backward To The Future!

    Ah, the 1950’s – a quaint decade of peace and prosperity. We compare it the 60’s, and mourn our nation’s lost hygiene, oops I mean innocence. Ok, so maybe that sort of nostalgia is overblown and a wee tad derogatory. Yet Dwight Eisenhower warned us of America turning into Amerika and we just didn’t get it. So Paul Krugman rides again to sell us his typically origami* version of economic events.

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    Backward!

    However, when it is time to hold people from different racial backgrounds to an equivalent standard of competence, any sense of racial equality goes bye-bye.

    As part of Virginia’s waiver to opt out of mandates set out in the No Child Left Behind law, the state has created a controversial new set of education goals that are higher for white and Asian kids than for blacks, Latinos and students with disabilities. Here’s what the Virginia state board of education actually did. It looked at students’ test scores in reading and math and then proposed new passing rates. In math it set an acceptable passing rate at 82 percent for Asian students, 68 percent for whites, 52 percent for Latinos, 45 percent for blacks and 33 percent for kids with disabilities.

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    Making Them Own It

    Florida based restaurant boss John Metz, who runs approximately 40 Denny’s and owns the Hurricane Grill & Wings franchise has decided to offset that (The Cost of Obamacare) by adding a five percent surcharge to customers’ bills and will reduce his employees’ hours.

    If you still shake your head and wonder why Alabama Governor, Robert Bentley won’t set up a HIX or participate in the Obamacare Medicaid expansion, John Metz offers us some insight. No matter how much free health insurance you were promised; some poor sucker always gets left holding the bag.

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    ROLL TIDE!

    It was The State of Alabama, under Governor Wallace in the 1960’s who helped caused Federalism to fall into disrepute at the expense of the American commonweal. It is perhaps only fitting that a governor of Alabama do what is necessary to reinstate Federalism as a valuable weapon by which America resists totalism and tyranny that overcome less robust systems of national governance than our own. Governor Robert Bentleytook to the social media to plant the axiom that Alabama would not succumb to the constitutional travesty that is Obamacare. He tweeted the following:

    Alabama will not establish a Health Insurance Exchange and We will not expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act.

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    Not What If, What Next Part III – Breaking The 4th Seal

    Demand that the House to do the following.

    1) Pass a budget that totally allows the US to go off the Fiscal Cliff. Remind President Obama that he and they made a deal that they intend to honor to the letter as a show of good faith and bipartisan agreement that all Americans should emulate in current and parlous predicament.

    2) Refuse a continuing resolution until the US Senate does likewise. Remind them that bipartisanship is always a two-way street and the US Senate does have a professional responsibility with respect to the Federal budget process.

    3) When the Senate self-righteously and arrogantly refuses, refuse to raise the debt ceiling, citing the fact that it is irresponsible to issue more debt when you have no coherent statement as to how those funds are intended to be spent.

    4) When Barack Obama rails against them, remind him firmly, yet politely that the House has passed a budget and stands more than willing to work with the US Senate anytime they choose to actually fulfill their legal and Constitutional obligations.

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    Not What If – What Next (Part II: What Would The Cunctator Do?)

    “The victor is not victorious if the vanquished does not consider himself so”

    The Roman Historian Ennius

    So we’ve reached a meta-stable political and societal equilibrium that subordinates probative and intelligent governance to the satiation of an increasingly base and callow population. As a result of that, politicians promising to utilize government to meet the basic needs of a large mass of individuals increasingly enjoy higher probabilities of winning elections. This process favors Post-Modern Liberals over Traditional Conservatives and focuses elections on the lower rungs of Maslov’s Hierarchy.

    This result is what I described yesterday as an absorbing state where voters feel like they can’t feed themselves unless they vote for Democrats who promise them government help. This limits opportunities for Conservatism and forces the nation on a train-track to fiscal and moral bankruptcy. This pernicious feedback loop can be countered in two ways. We blow it up (I’ll discuss how to light the fuse in my next post in this series) or we slow it down until we bleed off enough energy to make it stop. Today focuses on this option – The Fabian Option.

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    Not What If – What Next (Part I: Morphine)


    It was 2008, and Bill Whittle was an intelligent man deeply confounded. He wondered how in the heck people could consider voting for Junior Senator, Barack Obama as America’s next president. He finally hit on a valid analogy. He saw people in sudden, acute economic desperation and compared them to a patient in acute kidney distress. The white-hot pain gets to be intense; it shuts down your ratiocination. You fall deeply in love with the dude who promises you the shot of pain-killer which was exactly what Candidate Obama then promised. But why continue in 2012?

    Well, let’s say the pain gets to be chronic. You’re still hurting forty days later, the doctor can’t fix it and the bills are stacked to your chin so you have to go to work hurting. You’d better take a little something and maybe put a stick between your teeth and suck it up. President Obama was overjoyed to hand out the little blue happy pills. Food Stamp enrollment shot up. Welfare benefits were extended, requirements for welfare reform got waived and disability applications grew faster than job creation. Such is the pharmacological brilliance of the Obama Economy. I’m not seeing any cures out there, but he’s sure got a new pill for whatever puts a gimp in your walk and makes it clear you can only get that little, magical pill from him.

    It turned into a societal analog to what Operations Research Analysts describe as an absorbing state. Without getting too technical and boring you to sleep with a rap about Markov Chains, an absorbing state is a place where some object or system lands and then can’t get out. It’s like O’Hare Airport on an evening with mixed precipitation. You can plan whatever you like, but as Bob Dylan once sang “You ain’t goin’ nowhere.” You get there and you’d better love Big Brother. He owns you and your vote lock, stock and barrel.

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    Equipoise And Self-Discovery Leads To Victory

    Tomorrow — or I guess today — comes the cleanup; when thousands, perhaps millions, of right-wing heads explode, it makes quite a mess. Also, notice that the polls were right. I wonder if I can get invited when Nate Silver is sworn in as president? OK, somewhat more seriously: one big thing that just happened was that the real America trumped the “real America”. And it’s also the election that lets us ask, finally, “Who cares what’s the matter with Kansas?”

    – Paul Krugman just being his lovable self. (HT: NYT)

    I admit defeat. To the extent that I proudly wear the vaunted jersey of Team Conservative and represent the hopes, dreams and values of our movement, I just got bread-trucked. And then the truck backed-up and did a few doughnuts on my meticulously-manicured lawn. I suck the odious dregs of vituperation and defeat through a sipping straw and hereby congratulate President Obama on his victory.

    I do that to clearly and completely disassociate myself from the debasing and auto-beclowning conduct displayed by Mr. Krugman above. I hate doing it. But I choose to lose in the matter that befits a gentleman.

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