From deep within the bowels of America's most beloved bureaucracy:
The good news: free colonoscopies for everybody! The bad news: they're part of the new airport screening protocol.
Here's one that didn't make the cut:
6. Someone once said: "The nine most dangerous words are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" Do you know who said it, and do you think it's humorous?
Oh, and open thread, y'all. Feel free to add your own.
Cross-posted at SteveMaley.com.