[Screenshot from Metro DC DSA via Twitter, https://twitter.com/mdc_dsa/status/1176118938964570113?]

 

It’s an error of calculation.

What if I said, “I want everyone to really consider the damage being done to our cities by littering; I think I’ll paint that on my body and roller skate nekkid through the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade while blowing a bugle.”

Would I be reminding people not to trash the joint, or would I just be making them think I’m in great need of being fitted for a jacket with dysfunctional sleeves?

In reality, perhaps whenever thereafter a witness to my protest threw their sandwich wrapper on the ground, they’d recall, “Oh, yeah — remember that mentally ill bugler?”

But for some reason, there are hundreds if not thousands of people walking around in public who’d think my nude musical procession might save the planet.

And some of those revolutionaries were in Washington, D.C. Monday to rescue the world from climate change.

The way those giants of justice saved us all: They shut down at least 22 intersections during their fellow Americans’ morning commute.

Something tells me we may still be in peril.

But if you’re of a different mind, watch humanity be ripped from the clutches of imminent death:

Despite white privilege, even the black people got saved. And their blood pressure checked:

How to shut down a pipeline:

Good to see Greenpeace was on it. Those combatants against calamity similarly emancipated us from the shackles of a dismal fate by hanging from a bridge recently and costing the city of Houston millions of dollars:

I covered that profound act of rescue here:

Ahead of the city’s impending Democratic presidential primary, about a dozen activists suspended themselves from the Fred Hartman Bridge in order to fight the use of fossil fuels.

As a further means of really sockin’ it to modernity, the difference-making dingleberries held yellow and red flags.

In D.C., the knights of congestion also brandished red signs that read, “Capitalism is Killing the Planet.”

I have to wonder if anyone involved knew the actual meaning of “capitalism” — that would be, simply, a system based on a free-market economy in which an individual may own his or her own business.

Perhaps they were too busy preserving the universe to worry about things as meaningless as the definitions of words.

And just in case their work wasn’t enough to completely snatch us from the jaws of tragic incineration, they did the one thing we know is the show-stopping guarantee of global salvation:

They chained themselves to a yellow boat in the middle of the street:

Thank God for heroes.

If you happen to be nearby and can still participate, please: Drop your drawers, pull out your bugle and blow it.

-ALEX

 

Relevant RedState links in this article: here and here.

See 3 more pieces from me:

Pro-Communist ‘Revolution Club’ Protests Trump’s Visit By Burning An American Flag In Front Of The Beverly Hills Hotel. Why?

Protestors Have Come Up With An Ingenious Way Of Convincing Everyone To Enact The Green New Deal: Be Idiots

Boston’s Straight Pride Parade Is Mired By Outraged Protest, But Its Choice Of Grand Marshal Is Hilarious

Find all my RedState work here.

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