Heads Up: The FBI Needs Your Help to Find the 'Bad Wig Bandit'

 

 

In North Carolina, crime is wigging out.

According to the New York Post, the FBI’s on the hunt for the Bad Wig Bandit — a guy with a penchant for wigs that don’t flatter him — who’s been robbing banks in the “First in Flight” state.

The hokey-haired looter first hit the Huntersville BB&T Bank — maybe he thought it stood for Better Bangs and Toupees.

In his defense, he was nicely coiffed with a dark blonde chin-length job that nicely framed his face — and paired with a cute sweater that said, “Hey, I may be a calculated felon, but I’ve got a fun and unpredictable side.”

Shortly after the funnily follicular heist, another hairpieced holdup struck fear into the hearts of bank customers and rooters of realism: On January 8th — 26 days after the first job, the stickup man stunk it up at the New Horizon Bank in Belmont.

“Stunk” is right — this time, he was sportin’ something between Ronald McDonald and Cousin It.

Not his best.

Kind of a poor man’s Cher–

Just five hours later, the thief — who apparently changes clothes more often than Katy Perry in concert — hit Gastonia’s Wells Fargo wearing a curled, brown perky number — think Whitney Houston at her peak.

But qualitywise, it was still a discount store disappointment.

Officials report that the crummily-crowned criminal has a medium build and is in his 20’s or 30’s.

If you’ve got tips — help for the FBI, not fashion advice for him — contact your nearest American Embassy or Consulate. Or go to ps.fbi.gov.

Be on the lookout for this guy:

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

San Francisco Solves Its Heinous Criminal Problem in a Flash with the Democrats’ Newest, Deadliest Weapon

Man Attempts Armed Robbery, Accidentally Gives His Victim the Gun (Video)

A Burglar Breaks into the Home of an 82-Year-Old Woman. Turns Out She’s a Bodybuilder, and He (Barely) Lives to Regret It

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