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Over the weekend, Northeastern Ohio cops had to bust up a large, illegal late-night party.

The sizable shindig violated Geauga County’s coronavirus social-distancing rules, and the gregarious group had already been warned.

In the township of Huntsburg, police raided a bash by that bunch known for its rage against the machine, that rough and radical faction of rugged rebels.

They work hard, they play hard, and they don’t mind doing everything else hard, too.

I’m speaking, of course, of the Amish.

As relayed by Fox News, the bearded, pie-making community’s been so pummeled by the pandemic, Amish Bishops were sent a letter last week by County Health Commissioner Thomas Quade.

He implored them: Press pause on church services for the remainder of the month.

But you can’t tame a wild stallion. Or a Belgian draft horse.

They raise barns and they raise heck, they shingle and they wanna mingle. And no government goon’s gonna suspend their way of life — they’ve got plenty of suspenders already.

Sunday night, amid a statewide stay-at-home order, 911 received a ring from a snitch who was singin’ like a canary.

It was a rousing report: A cluster of carriages had been spotted outside a large barn.

That could only mean one thing — some mustacheless maniacs were partying like it’s 1799.

The fuzz wouldn’t stand for it.

Geauga Sheriff Scott Hildenbrand explained to Cleveland’s WJWTV:

“There is some concern out there and we are getting reports of large gatherings happening. If we get calls, or find out about them, we will go there, break them up and get them out of there. We won’t tolerate this and we have to keep everybody safe.”

Just after the pocket watch struck midnight, Geauga County Sheriff’s Office made an arrest and delivered a summons.

Sheriff Scott recalled:

“When we got there, there was a barn full of people (and) some of them ran.”

Those Amish folks are no fools; every Tom, Dick, and Hezekiah knows you skeedaddle when the po-po shows.

But:

“There was one that was too intoxicated to run, and that person had to be transported by ambulance. “

Two partygoers were charged with underage drinking.

It really buggied Commissioner Thomas. I mean, bugged:

“It is disappointing. … Those folks are all placing themselves at risk.“

Oh, well. Maybe this clampdown is too hard, even for the Amish. After all, it doesn’t take a 9th grade graduate to realize our rights are being taken away.

As for the Buckeye State’s Pilgrimish party people, I hope no one else gets cuffed and booked — they’re not fond of being photographed, and mug shots are mandatory.

Otherwise, to all you Swiss German makers of fine furniture who risk life and limb in outmoded mills…and to all you bonneted bakers who peddle peach pastries from porches, I salute you.

And despite the stay-at-home order, I saith to thee, “Party on.”

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

A Bakery Avoids Pandemic Bankruptcy by Creating the Most Perfect, Crappy Cake

He’s Alright, Alright, Alright: Hollywood’s Matthew McConaughey Hosts the Virtual Bingo Game for a Senior Living Facility

One of Boston’s Heroes Fighting the Wuhan Flu Is Former NFL Player Myron Rolle, Now a Brain Surgeon

Find all my RedState work here.

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