It’s not just because Chick-fil-A’s food is as top-notch as their service, either.

It’s because this kind of all-or-nothing, unnecessarily angry attitude HuffPo writer Noah Michelson has struck is the equivalent of the guy who takes it too far after hearing his group voice their frustrations. The kind of guy who, after hearing his friend say they’re going to head down to City Hall and give those politicians a piece of their mind, pipes up and shouts “and then we’re gonna kidnap the mayor!”

Lighten up, Francis.

Michelson penned an article for HuffPo titled “If You Really Love LGBTQ People, You Just Can’t Keep Eating Chick-fil-A.” The article consists of Michelson essentially telling the world that they must pick and choose either their love of the the Christian chain’s amazing food and service, or the LGBT community.

Michelson’s anger is apparently running the show in his mind’s eye, as he confesses to finding — and seemingly enjoys finding — boogiemen in every establishment, group, and product on God’s green, chicken-y Earth:

Any effort or energy you dedicate to not filling Chick-fil-A’s queerphobic coffers does not compromise your ability to simultaneously do the same with other opponents. Surely, like me, you have enough ― and are, sadly, constantly generating more ― outrage to spread around whenever and wherever it may be needed.

This singular paragraph gives you a pretty good idea about how Michelson views the world. He’s a one man army out to expose every sin, and lead the cavalry against it, and he’s drawing battle lines in pretty over-dramatic fashion.

No one likes to hear that they’re doing something wrong ― or that they can’t have something that brings them immense pleasure ― but that’s still exactly what I’m telling you.