Over at Josh Marshall’s far Left Talking Points Memo blog, they’re all giddy over the latest bright idea to issue forth from the progressive mind; call Tea Partiers racists!
Well, no … they already do that – they know Tea Partiers are racists and that the many people of other races who attend Tea Party rallies and speak on stage either are the product of Pixar magic, are white people in black face (racists!) or traitors to their race.
The only problem is that simply calling people racists and relying on fellow progressive allies in the Press to carry it from there like in the good old days no longer is quite as effective as it used to be. Now, the American people (being racists) ask for proof – solid proof.
Unfortunately, despite being ignorant unsophisticated inbred knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, Tea Partiers have cleverly been hiding their racism – proving how incredibly racist they are. As any progressive knows, only the most intensely bigoted of racists can hide their racism so deeply that even progressives, experts in all things racist, cannot manage to find it.
So poor progressives have been reduced to going to Tea Party rallies wearing those so unfashionable swastikas, unsophisticatedly waving confederate flags and carrying heavy racist signs so people could see how racist Tea Partiers are. But the Tea Partiers are so racist, they kick these brave progressives out, often exposing them as progressive plants – which is racist.
In fact, Tea Partiers so racist and their racism is hidden so well that progressives are left having to manufacture incidents of racism, even vandalize the offices of other progressives, to warn racist America of the violent racists in their midst. But so far, it doesn’t seem to have worked.
So, General J. C. Christian, progressive blog hero and proprietor of the progressive Jesus’ General blog, has come up with a surefire way to finally get the shield to crack and expose the racism the Tea Party has seething at its core; “Burn A Confederate Flag Day.”
The “General’s” brilliant idea is this; he (and his fellow progressives around the nation) will go to a Tea Party rally on September 12 and – wait for it – burn a confederate flag! Which he believes would lead to a stampede as anguished Tea Partiers rush to save “their” flag, proving once and for all, that the Tea Party is racist!
His logic is impeccable;
I can imagine people showing up at the tea parties, which I’ll do at my local one, and the tea party backers will start explaining why [the flag] is about state’s rights, not slavery, and all that and basically hang themselves.
Wow! Such brain power! Such brilliance! That J.C. sure does have more than two braincells to rub together, don’t he? He knows from the many “credible death threats” he has received and because he “work[s] very closely with some pretty scary right-wing people” that the Tea Party is “fundamentally racist.”
At the TPM, they are suitably impressed and are eager to help us understand the complexity and brilliance that is JC’s mind.
The ongoing debate over the Confederate flag is the perfect way to expose those racial motivations, the blogger predicts. He posits that most tea partiers will be supportive of the Confederate flag, which he says means they’ve got issues with race.
Remarkable, isn’t it?
According to progressive author Evan McMorris-Santoro, an expert on Tea Partiers, what motivates them and the symbols they hold dear, and who has the unequaled privilege of chronicling the birth of this world changing event for the TPM; “… the idea seems sure to at least ruffle some tea party feathers.”
All joking aside, I sure hope this takes off. In fact, I think we should help the progressives out and make this Confederate flag burning thing a roaring success. It’d be great visual for the Tea Party. Old Glory and Gadsen flags waving high and proud, Confederate flags burning on the ground. Even MSNBC is going to have a hard time spinning burning Confederate flags as evidence of racism.
Me? I’ll be busy laughing my head at all the confused progressives standing around with their cameras. Seriously, I think the organizers would have to send flowers to Josh Marshall to pass on to JC for his brilliant idea.