Hi. I’m going to spoil your appreciation of the day now.
Oh, not all of you. The people who are ordinary, decent Democrats – or just happy that we’re going to finally have as President somebody who isn’t an old white guy – go ahead and have a good time at the Inauguration. I plan to eat wings and watch it on TV, myself, but that’s because I live in the DC area, which means that I know what the traffic is going to be like. Heck, I wouldn’t be there for McCain’s, if he had won. Anyway, you folks don’t bother finishing this little essay: I don’t want to spoil your day. Hope it’s a good one for you.
But as for the rest of you. The Maoists. The Stalinists. The Klansmen. The anti-Semites. The blackshirt anarchists. The unwashed antiglobos. The summer patriot celebrities. The 9/11 Troofers. The Che-worshippers. The neo-Nazis. The deep ecologists. The PETA freakazoids. The World Can’t Wait losers. The Code Pink soldier-haters. The International ANSWER seditionists. The ACORN election-fraud enthusiasts. Every single one of you who screamed and ranted and threw garbage cans and put on bandannas and plotted attacks (incompetently) and waved around giant paper-mache heads… yeah. You people.
President George W Bush goes home tomorrow, and he won’t be slinking. He goes home, and as he noted last week, the first thing that he’ll probably do Wednesday is make coffee for Laura. And then he’ll relax. And then he’ll do whatever he darn well feels like, and you won’t have any say in it whatsoever. Meanwhile, President Barack Obama will do whatever he darn well feels like, and you won’t have any say in that, either. Because you freaks got one thing right: the Democratic and Republican parties are the same… when compared to you. That is, neither party is comprised of drooling incompetents with whacked-out brain chemistries and thumbs up their anuses. All of which means is that, now that you’ve served your purpose, the Democrats’ attitude towards you can be best summed up as it will put the lotion on or it gets the hose.
The best part about all of this is that some of you – the ones most recently joining your ranks, which means the ones whose brains haven’t quite rotted away yet – may be asking themselves, Is this going to be as good as it gets? To which I have to answer: Why, no, silly. November of 2008 was as good as it gets for you; you’re already on the downslope, and accelerating. No, really, you are. You see, while you’ve been busy telling yourself “Worst. President. EVER.” nations like India and China and most of Africa, really, and large chunks of Eastern Europe have perhaps have been coming to different conclusions. President Obama happens to know that… and he happens to know that calling on the former President to act as an emergency envoy (as current Presidents have been known to do) to, say, New Delhi or Kampala will actually not be a bad idea. Don’t expect President Obama to make his life more difficult to flatter your delusions, is what I’m saying.
Hey, go ahead and laugh, and go to (more likely, watch) the Inauguration, and start counting the days until they throw the entire Bush administration in the slammer. Feel free: but, do me a favor? Fifteen years from now, when you’re sitting in your dark car after the town meeting, still shocked that they named the new high school after that man even after your presentation explaining why not, and you’re still hurt that your good friend on the board rushed away afterward with a muttered I understand how you feel, but, really, don’t you think that you should be worried more about the idiot that we have in the White House now? – anyway, don’t let me know that I was right, after all.
I can’t believe that I would still care, at that point.
Crossposted at Moe Lane.