It’s not a Lewis Carroll riddle, though in the hands of Obama’s chief fantasist David Axlerod, it rivals Carroll’s ravens-and-writing-desks nonsense (Carroll admitted that his famous riddle originally had no answer), and in many ways surpasses it. To be fair, Lewis Carroll was writing a story for children, a whimsical, foray into a wonderland that, though it seemed strange and odd to Alice, did adhere to a basic set of rules. Carroll’s background in mathematics and logic spills over into Alice’s journey, which ends happily when Alice wakes up from what she believed was a very strange dream.

Unlike Carroll, David Axlerod’s Wonderland is bereft of even the twisted logic of Carroll’s creation. He was concerned enough about Rep. Ryan to send me an e-mail, urging me to spread the word about the slowly gestating Devil masquerading as a member of Congress. Mr. Axlerod writes:

On so many issues, Paul Ryan, like Mitt Romney, has taken extreme positions that are out of touch with the values most Americans share.

It’s our job, especially in these first few days and weeks, to make sure voters get the facts on his record, and a clear picture as to what a Romney-Ryan administration would look like for regular people, when the slogans fade away and the real policy decisions they’d face as president and vice president are on the table.

Check out the new video and site on Romney-Ryan:

David Axlerod, as we all know, has a curious relationship with vague concepts like “facts” and “truth”. Let’s have a look through the fun-house mirror, and take a gander at Mr. Axlerod’s idea of a “Biography”, which you can find at

Paul Ryan is a career Washington D.C. insider. A Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives, he is the architect of the Republican “Ryan Budget.” This extreme plan would turn Medicare into a voucher program, increasing seniors’ costs by up to $6,350 per year. It would also slash education and clean energy funding, along with other middle-class investments critical to economic growth—while raising taxes on millions of middle-class families to pay for tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires.

According to Harvard economist Jeffrey Liebman, based on Mitt Romney’s own projections on the impact of deep spending cuts on the economy, Paul Ryan’s budget plan could cost the U.S. more than 1 million jobs.

Congressman Ryan holds severely conservative views on a number of issues. He cosponsored a bill that could ban in-vitro fertilization as well as many common forms of birth control, including the pill. It could also ban all abortions, even in cases of rape or incest. He supported letting states prosecute women who have abortions and doctors who perform them.

Congressman Ryan voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which helps women fight for equal pay for equal work. He voted against repealing the discriminatory policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and supports writing discrimination into the Constitution with an amendment banning gay marriage.

So when is a Biography not a biography? Why, when it says “Biography” at the top, but then fails to provide any real information about the life of the person being discussed. I think there’s a good reason why Axlerod and his cronies might want to leave out some key information about Mr. Romney’s running mate. If people found out that Paul Ryan lost his father at age 16, worked summers as a camp counselor while he attended college, where he earned Bachelor’s  degree in economics and political science, that he’s a dedicated family man, a fitness enthusiast, and an avid hunter and fisherman, they might get the impression that perhaps Paul Ryan isn’t an Infernal Fetus at all, and that Mr. Ryan actually has some expertise when it comes to complicated things like managing vast sums of money. If word got out that perhaps there was some kind of deficiency in the current administration’s ability to manage vast amounts of money, it might spell trouble. President Obama’s bio mentions that he trained as a lawyer:

He went on to attend law school, where he became the first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review.


Conspicuously absent from the President’s  biography is any mention of experience or training in handling vast sums of money. Certainly, he has demonstrated all the shady, smarmy, slick, greasy, underhanded qualities that make lawyers slightly less popular than oral surgeons and proctologists on the list of admired professions, but hasn’t really performed well in the Money Management Department. Why, the Ryan “Biography” itself contains evidence of the Obama administration’s utter cluelessness when it comes to any numbers that don’t involve the word “par”.

Consider the following (and, if you’re able, try to keep in mind that this is somehow related to Paul Ryan’s biography):

It would also slash education and clean energy funding, along with other middle-class investments critical to economic growth—

Now, a lawyer might be forgiven for not knowing some basic rules about investments. One is that investing money you can’t afford to lose is a very risky business. It’s why there are so many pawn shops in Reno and Las Vegas.  With 16 trillion dollars in debt, can we really afford to gamble on “clean energy’? And shouldn’t we be getting a better return on our education “investment” than we are right now? If we’re going to invest in education, shouldn’t we expect educated people as the dividend? “Investing” in Solyndra and American public schools is probably the worst example of prudent financial planning that I’ve ever heard of.

Another rule that has been studiously ignored (if indeed, it was ever stumbled upon in the first place) was that leveraging – using borrowed money to increase potential returns on an investment – is extremely risky, and is partially responsible for the economic downturn the President is so fond of blaming others for. Isn’t that what the federal government has been doing at a terrifyingly accelerated rate for the past three years? According the President’s bio, he’s a student of the law, not economics, so during his years at the Harvard Law Review he might not have encountered these ideas. Paul Ryan, however, almost certainly has.

Only down the rabbit-hole of the Axlerod/Carney/Jarrett/ Wonderland can a Biography contain almost no information about a person’s life, yet still be touted as “facts” that need to be shared with others.

In the spirit of their “biography” of Paul Ryan, I would like to offer my own “biography” of the President, which I fittingly ripped off from the works of none other than Lewis Carroll himself:

“You are old,” said the youth, and your jaws are too weak 

for anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak

Pray, how did you manage to do it?


“In my youth”, said his father “I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw

Has lasted the rest of my life.”  – Alice In Wonderland, pg 65