The Golden Globe Awards are coming January 5, 2020. The Globes always makes me think of guns.

Mainly because there are so many guns at the awards show. At the last Golden Globes, they had police with M-4s every 20 feet, complete with flak vests, helmets, guard dogs, and armored vehicles. I was there, and I saw them. It’s like Afghanistan, but with pretty people and no donkeys (unless you call Democrats “donkeys,” in which case everyone there is a donkey).

At the funeral of rapper Nipsey Hussle, who was shot down way back on April 1 in Los Angeles, singer Stevie Wonder said:

It is so painful to know that we don’t have enough people taking a position that says, “Listen, we must have stronger gun laws.” It’s unacceptable. It’s almost like the world is becoming blind.

Get it? Stevie Wonder? Blind? Cleverness like that earns Wonder the big bucks. Billionaire Oprah Winfrey said something similar a day earlier at the Women in the World Summit in New York City:

We live in a country that has somehow confused cruel with funny, serious with intelligent, attitude with belief, personal freedom with stockpiling assault weapons, and what is moral with what is legal.

If Winfrey’s speech seems like gibberish from Pluto, that’s only because it is. “Stockpiling assault weapons”? Who is Winfrey hanging out with? Militias in Idaho?

A well-informed person could spend pages unpacking the contradictions, logical fallacies, hypocrisies, and misconceptions in these two statements word by word.

Here’s just one: Hussle’s funeral was surrounded by an army of LAPD, supported by SWAT carrying what some people call–wait for it!–ASSAULT WEAPONS. A SWAT truck full of M-4s: now *that’s* a stockpile. Wonder also travels in public with an armed bodyguard. And because Barry Obama attended the event, armed federal Secret Service swarmed the joint.

To recap, three layers of armed protection: private, city, and federal. Team Stevie Wonder’s right to keep and bear arms for his protection seems to be flourishing. He just doesn’t happen to have his own finger on the trigger. Life is grand when you can afford to get around technicalities.

But for the plebeians? “We” … must have “stronger gun laws” with the net effect of obstructing the average citizen still further from owning the means to protect himself and his family while the police *the citizen pays for* are off doing more important things—like guarding Barry, Stevie, and Oprah (and they say the police don’t care about black people…).

Winfrey, Wonder, and their entertainment brethren have no problem with guns. Not really. Whenever they roll out of their gated and walled compounds in Malibu or Beverly Hills, armed guards are never far away—at the gatehouse, at the movie studio, at the recording studio, at their children’s private schools, at the awards shows—guards, guards, guards with guns, guns, guns.

No, Hollywood’s perennial rash stems from traditionalist American culture, a culture that believes in the ancient human right to personal protection even for those who aren’t wealthy, famous, or powerful, those who cannot afford to hire someone else to do their wet work.