Welcome to another edition of the wacky, zany, scary world of the Leftist social justice warriors. Here are the seven wackiest and zaniest stories of interest that may have gone unnoticed.
All Hail AOC’s Shoes
Even before the intellectually-challenged bug-eyed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was sworn into the new Congress on January 3rd, the Cornell Costume Collection managed to get a pair of her shoes to place on view in an exhibit titled, “Women Empowered: Fashions From the Frontline.” This museum dedicated to matriarchal moonbattery will also feature a collar worn by Ruth Bader Ginsburg and a skirt once worn by Janet Reno which, coincidentally, will be used as a roof cover should a leak develop.
Sign # 2,765,154 of the Impending Apocalypse
It appears that a gay couple in Arizona has convinced toy maker, Mattel, to produce a same-sex Barbie couple. The gay lovers, looking for a doll set for their niece who was to be a flower girl at their May nuptials, said they felt “no connection” to anything in the Barbie aisle at the local toy store. So, they bought two Kens and made them a couple and presented that as a gift to their niece (it came with a Barbie wedding cake and, one presumes, wedding dress). Now Mattel is considering getting on the big gay bandwagon and rolling out same-sex Barbie wedding couples.
Environmentalism: Washington State Style
Dead people are a pain in the royal butt. They have to be either buried or cremated. Burial can leach chemicals into the ground as the body decomposes and cremation releases that dangerous carbon dioxide into the air thus leading to Miami being under water and extinction of polar bears and narwhals. Washington is coming up with a unique idea sure to put your dead loved one to work: compost, or mulch. That’s right: by placing Grandpa in a specially designed vessel which hastens decomposition, a nutrient-rich mulch or soil can be had to enhance next season’s vegetable patch. Seriously- Washington state is considering allowing this.
Sign #2,765,155 of the Impending Apocalypse
Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig and Roger Moore have all played the Ian Fleming iconic spy character, James Bond. But, if some people get their way, as British actor Dominic West suggests, the next James Bond (Craig is set to retire from the role) should be transgender. This would give a whole new meaning to Bond’s former nemesis, Pussy Galore.
Witchcraft Makes a Comeback
CNN actually dedicated two minutes of air time to interview two actual modern day witches. Their complaint is that, in reference to the Mueller investigation, Trump keeps referring to it as a “witch hunt.” One can understand the fear being that so many were hung from a tree or worse, burnt alive in Europe… over 400 years ago. Donald Trump: the new Vincent Price (reference to obscure Vincent Price flick…look it up).
Sign #2,765,156 of the Impending Apocalypse
And if you are Presbyterian, move over because there’s a new religion in town. Yahoo News reports that in the United States today, the number of witches has surpassed the number of Presbyterians!
One such witch, a transgender homosexual from Brooklyn (why isn’t that surprising?) named Dakota Bracialle gets their kicks by casting spells and hexes on conservative figures like Brett Kavanaugh.
No Respect for the Gingerbread Man
Apparently Scotland has a problem with sexism and equality among the sexes. Perhaps, that is why grown men walk around proudly wearing skirts. But, the Scottish Parliament seems determined to do something about this problem. Their solution? No more gingerbread men. They want to stamp out the term and replace it with gingerbread persons. And here I thought that wily fox took care of the gingerbread man once and for all. Time to rethink the story…