Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
Welcome to the 100th edition of the gift that keeps giving. No, not exactly a series dedicated to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, but to the ongoing culture wars that preceded her explosion on the scene and will likely outlast her. Here are the seven goofiest and sometimes weirdest stories:
BUD LIGHT GOES QUEER
In June, Bud Light will come in new packaging for the month. The watered down version of Budweiser will take on the appearance of the rainbow gay pride flag. They will also donate up to $150,000 to GLAAD, a gay rights group “… to assist in their efforts of creating a world where everyone can live the life they love.” That’s right, folks: another reason to avoid Bud Light.
BAD BASEBALL UMPIRES
A few years back, MLB players named Angel Hernandez the 3rd worst umpire in the League. He later sued the League claiming racial discrimination, not his suckiness, was holding him back in his career. In a game on April 23, he called out Houston outfielder George Springer. The outfielder appeared to call Hernandez a “f—— c— s—–.” Springer has been disciplined apparently not for the F bomb, but the other part which is considered homophobic.
BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE HAND SIGNALS AT WRIGLEY FIELD
A fan has been indefinitely banned from all Cubs games at Wrigley Field for flashing what is claimed to be a white power hand signal. The hand gesture in question is the A-OK sign which some morons duped by a 4Chan prank believe forms the letters “WP” for “white power” if the fingers point upward. Of course, it matters not that they first flashed the peace sign, followed by the infamous racist sign (with fingers pointing in the wrong direction). The ultimate nail in the fan’s coffin: he did it behind the back of a black announcer. Case closed.
FIRST, FARTING COWS AND LIVESTOCK; NOW CROPS
Dopey Leftist scientists with time on their hands have discovered: “Between 2008 and 2012 expansion of cropland in the US released carbon each year equivalent to the running of 36 coal-fired power plants, according to scientists in the US.” If true, this is good news for crops that need carbon dioxide (and produce oxygen). But according to this group of researchers, not content to ban livestock and return us to the days of Neanderthals, even growing crops is now bad for the environment and world temperatures.
Animals rights activists in Paris, protesting “speciesism” who claim that eating meat is immoral and violation of the rights of animals doused a butcher and his stand with a red liquid. This action comes on the heels of several acts of vandalism against butchers and butcher shops throughout France proving that this now explains why George Orwell chose Napoleon as the name for the villainous pig in Animal Farm.
WORD AI GOES PC
Microsoft is making changes to its Word product. No longer will grammatical and spelling errors be highlighted, but the program will now suggest more inclusive alternatives for certain words. For example, “disabled person” will be “person with a disability,” Congressman will be “Congressperson,” and “policeman” can be “police officer.” One wonders what “f—— c— s—–” will be.
OK…I had to Google this one, but here goes. Trent Gates is a 23-year-old from DC who, in April 2016 removed his testicles in a self-performed DIY surgical procedure in his apartment. Eight months later he chopped off his penis in a motel room in North Carolina. Why, you may ask? He identifies as a “nullo.” I will let Wikipedia explain:
The term nullo (or smoothie) refers to an extreme body modification subculture made up mostly of men who have had their genitals (and sometimes also their nipples) surgically removed…They are often either asexuals or submissive homosexuals. The term nullo is short for genital nullification. Though the procedure is mostly done by men, there are women who also voluntarily have their vagina stitched closed…
One wonders if “nullo” is a choice on New York City’s official list of 31 acceptable genders. Now for the kicker: According to Trent, he got a clean bill of mental health from psychiatric staff after showing up at the emergency room after his self-mutilations. His boyfriend and his family accept his “life choice.”
Just remember… you heard it here first.