Who needs four Horsemen of the Apocalypse when Robert Mugabe is still around? In these tough economic times, we can downsize amongst the Horsemen and assign all of their responsibilities to Mugabe. Wreaking havoc, death and destruction is about the only administrative talent he has, after all:

The United States said on Friday that President Robert Mugabe’s departure from office was long overdue and a food crisis and cholera epidemic in Zimbabwe meant it was now vital for the international community to act.Zimbabwe has declared an emergency and appealed for international help to battle a cholera outbreak that has killed 575 people, with 12,700 reported cases of the disease, according to the United Nations.

“It’s well past time for Robert Mugabe to leave,” US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said in Copenhagen.

[. . .]

Economic meltdown in Zimbabwe, isolated by western countries under Mr Mugabe’s increasingly authoritarian rule, has left the health system ill-prepared to cope with the cholera epidemic that it once would have prevented or easily treated.

The country has the highest official modern-day inflation of 231m per cent but inflation is seen much higher with prices doubling every 24 hours. Basic foods are often unobtainable and the currency is worthless.

The cholera cases have been fuelled by the collapse of the water system, which has forced residents to drink from contaminated wells and streams. The disease has spread to neighbouring South Africa, Mozambique, Zambia and Botswana.

Yup. Too speechless and gobsmacked to snark any further on this one.