Okay, the first question. Why is Reno Rage being held in Winnemucca, NV?
The Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/John F’n Kerry (D-MA) defeated the Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R)
PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I) destroyed Peta from PETA (D).
New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) defeated Dave the Mechanic (I) in a match where he had to have apologized at least seventeen times.
Reno Rage Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)
The crowd was about half the level into Jim Schmidt (R) when he wrestled for Ron Paul as they were for Magnum PO’d. (Plus, having Robbyn Masters there certainly didn’t hurt either).
Early on, Rev. Richardson did a small move and then inexplicatively jumped on the middle turnbuckle. He posed for the crowd as if he just scored a pin and then ran into the waiting clutches of Tanaka. Tanaka powerbombed Rev. Richardson and then replicated his celebration. Ron Paul went around and high-fived every fan in the front row around the ring. Magnum PO’d hit the Porsche Plunge on Richardson. Magnum went for the pin but Gingrich pulled the referee out of the ring. Paul ran to the back to get another referee.
Meanwhile, Richardson used a chair on Tanaka which only served to royally piss off the Japanese SuperDestroyer. Richardson then got in his face, there was shoving, and then a choke slam on Richardson. Tanaka sent the Right Reverend over the top rope and facilitated elimination number one of the match.
Tanaka shook off Magnum’s attempt to Porsche Plunge him and powerbombed him through a table outside the ring for the second elimination of the match.
K-Roy jumped on Tanaka’s back and tried to choke him out. Tanaka backed hard into the corner turnbuckle and squashed K-Roy. Then to the top rope, Japanese SuperDestroyer, and time to catch the next flight to Minneapolis for Tuesday’s PCW Minnesota Mayhem.
WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 10:31
Romney shakes Tanaka’s hand and then takes off to head to the airport.