PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Paramount Skating Arena
Thursday March 8th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave
Recap of Tuesday’s Super Tuesday Spectacular Match:
…A-Bomb and Tanaka brawl on the outside. Tanaka clubs A-Bomb with a belt. Tanaka slams A-Bomb to the floor. Texas Jack stays in the ring. Tanaka throws A-Bomb back into the ring and covers A-Bomb. He miraculously kicks out at 2. Tanaka goes for a choke slam. Texas Jack decides to get in on the action by hitting Tanaka with a steel-folding chair. Tanaka gets dropped. Texas Jack goes after A-Bomb next. But A-Bomb moves and grabs the chair away. Chairshot to the back. Chairshot to the knee. Texas Jack tries to run- he gets a chairshot instead. A-Bomb channels his anger into an absolute dismantling of Texas Jack. A-Bomb bloodies Jack with a chairshot to the face. He lifts Texas Jack…ATOMIC POWERBOMB! Cover…1…2…3.
Eliminated: Texas Jack (R)
Tanaka sneaks up from behind and locks on the figure four leglock and leans back into it. A-Bomb, face registering intense pain, tries to hang on. A-Bomb finally taps out and is eliminated.
Winner: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka @ 18:09
Mitt Romney hops in the ring and raises his arms in victory.
Tuesday night at PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular, Rush Limbaugh (R) apologized for comments he made about Sandra Fluke.
Limbaugh knows that last week, he was pretty hard on Sandra Fluke, he was tough, and he made a mistake. It’s amazing, Limbaugh admits, that he made a mistake. He said some mean things about poor Sandra Fluke and probably pushed the limits of what he should have say. But Limbaugh says he went too far in calling her a ‘slut’ because he lowered himself…lowered himself to the Democrats level. He lowered himself to every dirty, underhanded and despicable thing the Democrats have ever done. And for that, he’s sorry.
Keith Olbermann (D) comes to the ring. He starts by calling Kristen Powers one of Fox News’s ‘house tamed liberals’ for her assertion in the Daily Beast that there’s a double standard when it comes to the left and sexism and misogyny. He then apologizes to female conservative commentator S.E. Cupp for referring to her as ‘a perfect demonstration of the necessity of the work Planned Parenthood does.’ Olbermann then apologizes to female conservative blogger Michelle Malkin for calling her a ‘big mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.’ He went to claim that both remarks were not as bad as Limbaugh referring to Fluke as a ‘slut’…
Suave: Huh? How?
Olbermann also vowed to retire his ‘Worst Person’s in the World’ segment, again, and to attempt to avoid any ‘“gratuitously abusive remarks about women, and men.’
Suave: What’s the over/under on that happening?
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)
The Sanderman (D)
…RINO stomps The Sanderman repeatedly. High crossbody by RINO. He climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, diving headbutt on The Sanderman. RINO with a running powerslam. The Sanderman pulls himself up…RINO charges…GORE! GORE! GORE! COVER! COVER! COVER!…1 …2 …3
WINNER: RINO @ 6:35
Post match, the Religious Right: The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (Triple R),
Rev. Oral Hinnrich, and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R) ran down and attacked RINO.
Bill Maher talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about Rush Limbaugh’s apology. Maher says he hates to side with Limbaugh but he did apologize and liberals look bad by not accepting the apology and hates intimidation of free speech via sponsor’s pulling their ads from Limbaugh’s radio show.
Maher left and Bernstein flagged down PCW CEO Barack Obama for a quick comment. When asked if the names Maher’s called Sarah Palin were worse than what Limbaugh called Fluke, Obama’s spokesman Jay Carney intercepted the question and responded that Obama can’t be the arbiter of every political statement.
Suave: Unless it’s someone like Rush Limbaugh who’s not contributing a million dollars to a pro-Obama PAC.
PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism
In the ring, Chism announces that he’s here to apologize…
Suave: Another apology?
…for the way he beat Valora Salinas (I) all over the ring in their match Tuesday night and sending her back to the kitchen- or to the women’s division where she belongs.
Suave: I don’t think that’s the way it happened.
REPLAY: Chism vs. Salinas Tuesday Night
…Chism is a bloody mess and Valora continues to beat him with a chair. Both Skanky Rich Bimbettes are in tears as Valora nails him again with a chair shot. Chism tries once again to head up the ramp to the back with the help of the SRB. But Valora throws Kim and Chloe off the steps and grabs Chism by the trunks. She flings him up and over the ring barricade. Valora jumps on the barricade with the chair and jumps down.
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
Chism says obviously the tape has been doctored because that’s not the way he remembered it. Then Limbaugh races down the ramp.
*Def Leppard ‘Tear It Down’ plays*
Suave: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long
WTF catches Limbaugh and grabs him by the throat. Lift. Chokeslam.
Crowd: WHAT THE #$##! WHAT THE @#$#!
Chism looks down at Limbaugh and bursts out laughing. Chism then starts to leave the ring but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot pulls him back in and grabs him by the throat, lifts, chokeslam.
Marcy Kaptur (D-OH) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein. She apologizes…
Suave: Geez, enough with the apologies tonight.
…for crushing fellow Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) in a dark match at Super Tuesday Spectacular. She then asked Bernstein to hold on a second and pulled off her shoe. Kaptur then scraped Kucinich from the bottom of her shoe and then continued the interview.
The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.
But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.
Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.
What other book features a parody of Les Miserables and Smokey and the Bandit in the same story? And it features a scene with PCW too!
Tony Dreamboat and Ron Claude Von Dammit (I)
SNAFU and Steve Torino- The King of Old School Sales (I)
Both teams are introduced but the match doesn’t go off because…
Suave: HOLY CRAP! IT’S VALORA AND SHE’S BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF STONE CHISM!
…PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas, bandaged up from Tuesday night, drags a bloody PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism down the ramp and slams him head first into the steel ring steps. Chism flops to the floor. Valora drags him up and rolls him into the ring. She slaps on the Katahajime and Chism desperately taps even though its not an official match.
Code Pink and Emily S. List (D) hit the ring. Valora dumps Chism, grabs his Television Title belt and decks both women with the belt. She delivers a double DDT and then tears the glitter bomb away from Code Pink. Chism tries to pull himself up but Valora lights up the Glitter Bomb and the Television Champion goes right back down. She leaves the ring with the TV belt to a standing ovation from the crowd.
Suave: Well, at least she didn’t apologize for doing that.