I’ve seen this little story all over the place and although it’s fairly clever, it also is trying to depict Conservatives as being hypocritical because of using Socialist programs and then arguing against Socialism.
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal power utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the Nation Aeronautics and Space Administration. At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school. After work I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshall’s inspection, and which has not plundered all of its valuables thanks to the local police department. I then log into the Internet which was developed by the Defense Advance Research Projects Administration and post on freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD and because the government cant do anything right.
Below I’ve changed this story to depict something a little different. This is NOT fiction, this is actually a representation of a typical day that I would have.
I wake up in the morning not from an electronic alarm clock, but a biological clock in my bladder, which was given to me by God. I turn on the lights that receive electricity from my Rural Electric Coop. I take a shower using the water from my well on my property, and get blasted by whatever contaminants are there today, and I love every second of it. And it’s because of those contaminants that my immune system will kick your butt. I proceed to the window to look outside to see what the weather will be like today. I open the windows because it will be hot today and I don’t have air conditioning. I go to the kitchen to get some fresh fruit and vegetables grown by me on my own property. No pesticides or herbicides to was off and no stickers to peel off. I get in my crappy old SUV with 270,000 miles on it which in no way could pass any NHTSA safety measures. Blue smoke wafts along behind me as I work my way down our county road with no speed limit. I unfortunately reach the highway and must now conform to the rules of the road. Make no mistake; if there were no highway I would still make it into work, I do have 4wd. I stop at the gas station to get as much carbon polluting fuel as I can afford. I also stop at my bank (which is locally owned and operated) and get cash because I don’t use credit cards. My final stop before work is to drop of my daughter at a private Catholic school.
After work I drive my carbon exhaling monster home wishing along the way that I could just take a short-cut through the corn fields. There aren’t really any building codes where I live nor are there any police officers. If I see something wrong at my neighbors as I pass, I will stop to help them. For dinner I might fix up some beef from the neighbors cows, or make some eggs from the other neighbors chickens.
And then yes, I will log into the Internet which I receive from the local privately owned telephone company. And I WILL without a doubt bring up FoxNews.com and then bring up USAWatchmen.com and tell everyone how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD!
Yes Socialism is everywhere, and we have far too many social programs. People have become dependant on the Government because that is what they want and you don’t even realize it. But don’t ever forget that only in America are we still allowed the opportunity to Excel or Fail. We have the right to have private property with our own water, heat and electricity and drive a crappy gas guzzling vehicle. We have the right to grow our own food, keep it for ourselves, and eat it. We have the right to send our kids to private schools, and choose what bank we use. We also have a responsibility to look out for our neighbors and help them when they are in need.