morris

Just when you thought this Dumpster Fire election of 2016 couldn’t get any crazier. Just when you thought, “Maybe I’m not tripping on acid watching the David Lynch movie catalog.” Just when you realized you may be able to save your desk from your head hitting it multiple times, news comes along that will make you laugh, cry, and make you slam your head into your desk at a rate where you’d welcome the sweet bliss of coma.

When you first see the headline, “Dick Morris Is in Talks to Join the Trump Campaign” it’s almost like you’re Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ after he takes the ludes with the delayed fuse. You don’t feel anything at first and then POW, you “skip the tingle phase and go right to the drool phase.”

And there it is:

Before Donald Trump’s campaign was derailed by his racist attacks on a federal judge, the GOP nominee was surprisingly disciplined in his attacks on Hillary Clinton. His chief strategy: recycling the scandals of the 1990s. Now, even as Trump is doubling down on his rants about the judge, it appears he’s not entirely given up on his original plan. According to two sources with direct knowledge of the talks, the Trump campaign is in discussions with Dick Morris, the former Clinton adviser turned Clinton nemesis, about joining the campaign as a strategist. Morris would “join the Hillary unit,” one source explained. “It’s on the table,” a senior Trump adviser added. “Some of the most important info about the Clintons is 20 years old.”

Morris, known best for helping steer the Clinton re-election campaign until August of 1996 when he had to resign following the news Morris was a fan of consorting with hookers. We also learned, much to the chagrin of our appetites, Morris had a fondness for sucking toes, according to Sherry Rowlands (Dick’s favorite prostitute). Try and purge that visage from your mind. 

Following that, Morris became the Sergio Mendes of political consulting, assisting candidates in Argentina, Uruguay, Mexico and Guyana.  Afterward, Morris became best know for making political prognostications that were so bad, it’s almost as if he was a living parody. The worst of course was not only proclaiming Mitt Romney would win the Presidential election in 2012, but that he would win in a landslide reminiscent of Barack Obama’s win over John McCain in 2008.

With that known and his history and the rest of history out there, why in the world would Trump want to hire this guy? The only explanation would be to hopefully get information from Morris he could use against Hillary Clinton. But I doubt that’s going to work. Know why? This is why:

Still, there are signs that Morris has been moving into the Trump orbit this campaign season. In recent days, the National Enquirer, which has been a loud pro-Trump outlet, named Morris its “chief political commentator.”

The. National. Enquirer. 

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