BREAKING: Flake Allegedly Considering Filing Charges Against Elevator Screamer

Sen. Jeff Flake was verbally assaulted Friday morning in a U.S. Capitol elevator, and according to a press release put out by “leading national women’s group” UltraViolet, he’s considering pressing charges against the two women.

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The group claims U.S. Capitol Police told “an organizer” for their group Flake is “potentially” pressing charges against two of their members. In response, Shaunna Thomas, Executive Director, said:

“Charging sexual assault survivors for sharing their stories is shameful and cowardly. Senator Flake should be ashamed of himself for attempting to frighten survivors into silence. This is absolutely unbelievable.

“UltraViolet and its members will fight these potential charges.”

I hope he does file charges. If they were backed into an elevator with no escape door and being shouted at by members of the opposite sex, they would be claiming they were raped.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually went down this way:

“Dammit, we didn’t get arrested today while screaming at Flake, so our publicity train stopped. What now? Oh, let’s call the Capitol Police. (ring ring ring) Officer, so, could Flake potentially press charges because of that incident? Oh, he potentially could, but you haven’t talked to him? Okay, cool.”

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