It was over in the United States; a bloated, spoiled, rotting empire of the Maenads that could no longer successfully get a rocket off the launching pad that the furor began. You see British Astrophysicist, Dr. Mitt Taylor had accomplished feats of engineering and science that are simply beyond the skill and intellect of rotting, detestable empires who run their space agencies to boost Islamic self-esteem.

Here’s how legitimate professionals perform a mission to outer space.

For 10 years he and his colleagues at the European Space Agency have been guiding this 15-stone probe to a place so far from us that it takes radio signals 28 minutes to reach our scanners. With unbelievable skill and accuracy, they have managed to get within striking distance of Comet 67P/ Churyumov-Gerasimenko. They were able to detach Philae, the probe, from the mother craft, called Rosetta. They sent Philae towards the comet- a peanut-shaped glob of freezing rock and dust about two miles long. They landed their milk crate gizmo on the comet, even though it is hurtling through space at 135,000 mph.

We should be admiring this. We should congratulate Dr. Taylor. But no. Like the obnoxious, overeager NFL Umpire staring at the offensive line, the hatefully PC Progressive US* had to throw the penalty flag and call back the ultimate inter-planetary touchdown bomb. That would be a 15 yard penalty for Unsportsmanlike Menswear.

Really? Yes; The United States of America, the people who invented Faux Cold Fusion and the Hockey-Stick Curve, are really devaluing visionary and legitimately honest astrophysical brilliance because female screech-harpies on Twitter were offended by this man’s shirt! To quote the sensitive and caring John McEnroe “You cannot be serious!?”

The Atlantic’s Rose Eveleth tweeted, “No no women are toooootally welcome in our community, just ask the dude in this shirt.” Astrophysicist Katie Mack commented: “I don’t care what scientists wear. But a shirt featuring women in lingerie isn’t appropriate for a broadcast if you care about women in STEM.**” And from there, the online feminist lynch mob took off until Taylor was forced to deliver a tearful apology on camera..

I wonder what Rose Eveleth would think if she watched some woman get crowned as “Rugby Queen?” Actually, I really don’t. As long as the rugby players were all sloppy drunk and capable of achieving absolutely nothing, she’d be totally copacetic. Dr. Taylor had to be destroyed by these harridans because he was guilty of thinking, working and achieving while pissing with a phallus. This was a guy, he did something – beautiful, inspiring and awesome, and therefore she needed an excuse to get out the tar and feathers.

Those American rockets that blow up on the launching pad, those issues of Scientific American that get featured prominently on The Retraction Watch Blog, our kluge-ridden ObamaCare roll-out and our piss-poor collapsing infrastructure that never gets repaired in a rapid fashion are all occurring for a reason. It has to do with the ultimate moral goal of the American Society. We need a man to put that society back on track. We need a man who will recommit us to excellence. We need a man who wanted to rip Rose Eveleth and the rest of her detestable coven a new nether eye with a rusty gaffing hook.

None of the “men” currently seeking the Republican Nomination for POTUS in 2016 have what it takes. Only Gov. Scott Walker would even pique my interest. We need Boris Johnson to emigrate. If Barack Obama wants to let in a bunch of foreigners so that 42% of them can go straight to Medicaid, let’s bring in someone who’s actually worth a monkey’s butt-wipe. Boris Johnson wins my unflinching support for POTUS in 2016 and here’s how he won it.

I watched that clip of Dr Taylor’s apology – at the moment of his supreme professional triumph – and I felt the red mist come down. It was like something from the show trials of Stalin, or from the sobbing testimony of the enemies of Kim Il-sung, before they were taken away and shot. It was like a scene from Mao’s cultural revolution when weeping intellectuals were forced to confess their crimes against the people. Why was he forced into this humiliation? Because he was subjected to an unrelenting tweetstorm of abuse. He was bombarded across the internet with a hurtling dustcloud of hate, orchestrated by lobby groups and politically correct media organisations. And so I want, naturally, to defend this blameless man. And as for all those who have monstered him and convicted him in the kangaroo court of the web – they should all be ashamed of themselves.

God Damn these hateful Politically Correct “Progressives.” They are a blight that has reduced the American Nation to a state of laughable failure. People terminally afraid to offend others are too chickensh*t to achieve anything of greatness or merit. These female versions of Elsworth Toohey are an example of everything that makes Post-modern America such a goddamn laughingstock and a disgrace. We need to save ourselves from these hateful Neo-Nazis of the Academic Campus and the Media Hive Mind. We need Boris in 2016!

*-That sorry, pathetic excuse for a nation that can’t even code the ObamaCare website correctly.

**- You want me to care about women in STEM? Stop bull-sh*tt*ng and launch something that actually flies. You know, like Dr. Taylor just did!