We have another updated the hilarious saga of Maine Governor and Donald Trump surrogate Paul LePage. If you recall, only yesterday LePage hinted that he might resign after he seemed to have lost the Maine GOP’s confidence over a series of statements that could, if viewed charitably, be seen as bizarre, threatening, and overtly racist.

Now he’s decided against it. Apparently, any criticism he’s taking pales in comparison to a life working in a fast food place… which is about the only job option he’s going to have.

Facing pressure to resign after comments many called racist and a profanity-laced voicemail left for Democratic Rep. Drew Gattine, Maine Gov. Paul LePage told reporters today he will not be resigning and will be seeking spiritual guidance.

“We always have been a family of faith and we recognize that the grace and guidance from God can make us stronger in life,” LePage said in a statement following a meeting with Gattine.

“To the Maine people, today, I am asking for forgiveness. Comments I have expressed recently are unaccepted and I apologize sincerely for using such disrespectful language as your Governor,” LePage said in the statement. “Also, I would like to express an apology to the Gattine family. I understand how hurtful statements affect a family and regret that my words have adversely upset your lives. For this I am sorry.”

But there is more. Spiritual guidance is insufficient if it is divorced from blame shifting and failure to take responsibility for your own actions:

“After speaking with Representative Gattine, I think that the reporter who put the mic in my face owes the people of Maine an apology as well, because [Gattine] never called me racist,” LePage told reporters. “He said I made racially [charged] comments. Maybe, in my mind, it is semantics. But in his mind, after talking to him, it was clear that there was a real difference. Fine.”

“I may not supposed to be that sensitive to these things, but I am. I lose sleep over this, and it’s frustrating when you hear people talk about cheap political stunts to hurt their opponent and not do the right thing,” he said. “Being called a racist was a horrible thing for me. It was enormously hurtful. It hurt my family. I will not resign, though.”

What he said he will do, however, is stop speaking to the media
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“I will no longer speak to the press ever again after today,” LePage said, prompting laughter from reporters. “And I’m serious. Everything will be put in writing. I am tired of being caught — the gotcha moments.”

Personally, I can’t see LePage keeping this promise. His impulse control is too weak and his skin too thin to not talk to the press. And it would be a shame if he did because it would deprive us of hours of comedy.