It's Here: Matt Lauer Drops His Expected Apology

Well, you knew this was coming.

It’s Matt Lauer’s apology statement, as he suddenly gets this epiphany about his years of boorish, lewd treatment of women.

Funny how all it takes to give lecherous men a change of heart is to be found out.

Lauer’s statement was released earlier today, and offered up this gem:

“As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC,” Mr. Lauer, who was fired, wrote in part.

Really? It took you writing it out to suddenly realize what you were doing for so long was disgusting and absolutely the wrong thing to do?

A child with no training would know better, so you have no excuse.

The facts are, money and position gave you a sense of entitlement.

Newsflash: The workplace is not your playground.

I’d say the man has the morals of a pig, but I don’t want to insult bacon.

He went on:

“Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed,” he said.

The reports coming out are pretty vile. If even one is true, you’re disgusting.

And again, it took them coming out for you to be ashamed? If that’s the case, then you’re not ashamed of what you did. You’re ashamed that you weren’t clever enough to do what you did and not get caught. There’s a difference.

Mr. Lauer said that his full time job now is “repairing the damage” and “soul searching.”

Yeah. Those are euphemisms for, “convincing my wife not to take everything I have in a divorce” and “praying somebody makes news for doing something much worse.”