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State Of The Union Prom Dates

By: Caleb Howe (Diary)  |  January 24th, 2011 at 09:00 AM  | 

RESIZE: AAA


At this week’s State of the Union address, those cards in the House and Senate are going to be a little more shuffled than usual. It seems in the interest of newing up the tone and de-rhetoricizing, the boys and girls have decided to find themselves speech buddies from across the aisle. Yes, in a move certain to send shivers of intimidation down the spines of our enemies, our wise politicians are pairing up across party lines to prove they are all in it together, standing strong in solidarity against the will of the people.

It will, of course, fix everything. Unfortunately though, it seems some unlucky legislators are having a tough time finding a date for the prom:

One senator says pressure to find a bipartisan seatmate for SOTU has touched off a frenzy as lawmakers scurry for acceptable dates.

I started wondering how they were going about this process and then it hit me: internet dating sites!!! And it turns out I was right! And now I will reveal to the world some of what I discovered at …
CongressionalMatch.com!

Let’s look at a few screenshots from some prominent politicians looking for that special someone to get non-vitriolic with.

This first one sort of scared me:

Some people just can’t let go:

Username mystery solved?

This one’s been in the news lately, mein damen und herren:

I got a little choked up:

That’s … that’s just sad:

Sadder:

Saddest:

Um …

Thanks to Iowahawk for discovering the Kremulakian plot in the first place!

Of course, that was just a sample. I’m sure more will surface over time. Until then, it’s just a waiting game to see who gets the biggest corsage. My money’s on Waxman.

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  • michigan

    IMHO, the seating arrangement is a bad idea that the Republicans have bought into. Let Americans see bold and stark contrasts to the President?s ?proposals? that the left will be jumping to attention to, applauding every teleprompted delivery.

    That?s a scary pic, Caleb. I think Pete King is setting with Weiner. I bet King wears the buttoner.

  • edintexas

    I can’t say I’m astounded at the stupidity of the Republicans for once more playing Charlie Brown to the Democrat’s Lucy with the football. The Republicans get rolled every time, even giving the Democrats the football to roll them with. Once I had hopes that the Republicans would learn, but that hope is dim and fading. Even the last election, with (presumably) the Republicans understanding that they were on “probation”, they apparently believed the MSM about almost everything. I suppose it is easier to read a few pages in the NY Times and Washington Post than to read constituent messages. SIGH.

    • http://www.tobytoons.com TobyToons

      I’ll have to make a cartoon from that image. It fits perfectly.

    • jeepingeoff

      is that after all the kissyy kissy hand holding tomorrow night, the R’s, on Wednesday morning say “Just Kidding!” and defund all the ‘footballs’.

      Great post Caleb. Still laughing!

  • throwback59

    for these individuals who have an un-natural attraction for another party:
    Congressosexuals.

  • Bobcat51

    Dems playing them like trout on a short line ! For goodness sake GOP, lead don’t follow.

  • earlgrey

    if Rs found some way to connect to their supporters. Maybe have Ryan speak with R legislators seated behind him. Logistically that is probably a fail.

    I don’t know R’s need to know that we need to see them at this event.

    Who is going to sit with Steve Cohen? No R should have to after his remarks.

  • chipbennett

    Can we target* for being primaried any Republican who participates in “bi-partisan seating” at SOTU?

    * Note to the Vitriol Police: metaphorically speaking

  • http://vladenblog.tumblr.com Vladimir
  • http://www.tobytoons.com TobyToons

    Caleb, you had me in tears this morning (especially the Waxman entry).

  • Locked and Loaded

    As far as the freshman go, yeah, they should sit together, and they should all wear their “Frosh” T-shirts. That would be threatening.

    In all seriousness, why do the Republicans get rolled? Because they don’t listen to their constituents, who are clearly telling them this is a bad idea. They are acting as the effete elites that they are, thinking they have found a smarter, more refined way than that proposed by the people outside.

  • rightwingmom52

    but Biden’s does it for me. “Obamacare5evah” just says it all. Thanks for the belly laugh. Great way to start a Monday!

  • http://beaglescout.wordpress.com Beaglescout

    I don’t care that they’re having bipartisan seating for the obfuscation and mendacity-fest to come. Now when the cries of “that’s a lie” ring out, nobody will know for sure whether they came from Republicans or Democrats.

  • mdavt

    I can’t stop laughing.

    Thanks for brightening my day.

  • cacharlie

    Just noting that Alexandr Dolgopolov of the Ukraine is the one to watch tomorrow – probably available on ESPM2 from Austrailia, This unseeded 22 year old was fun to watch beat #4 Soderling Sunday with a shotgun serve and composure unlikely to the end from a first timer in a major.

    No contest for me between watching Dolgopolov and Obama’s latest campaign speech. In fact I may blow BO off anyway since I don’t even want to contemplate much less watch Republicans and Democrats pair up and hold hands while he pretends to be a centrist.

  • http://impudent.edublogs.org/ kyle8

    I was rolling off of my chair.

  • Common_Cents

    Gee, what happened to We Won, voters have spoken in getting on with the Republican agenda? Do they always have to lay down and play pattycake? I admire the left for going for it when they win, even though I disagree. You’d think Charlie Brown Reps would learn after the ball gets yanked from them by the Lucy Dems for the 1000th time.

  • edwyrd

    political parady at its height. more please!!