At CNN’s GOP Presidential Town Hall on Tuesday, Donald Trump was asked about what he thinks the top three legitimate functions of government are. His answer was, in exactly three words: an amazing laundry list of self-contradictory government largesse that totally undercuts every argument his followers think he has made this campaign.

That was three words, right? Anyway, watch this video from Digitas Daily. It’s hilarious and painful and depressing and good.

What? Good neighborhoods? Housing? Healthcare? It should be government run but also privately run? What .. I’m asking. Donald. Guy. What are you talking about? (Full transcript at end of post.)

This is what I and so many others have said so many times. Donald Trump does not make an argument for smaller government. He is not interested in decreasing the size of government. He doesn’t want to cut programs, he does’t want to defund Planned Parenthood, and he does believe the government should be providing all these Democrat goodies. Yet every Super Tuesday “conservatives” and “Republicans” turn out and vote for him. It’s maddening.

Right? Maddening? I’m mad.

Anyway, here’s the full segment. I’ll be tearing my hair out in the corner. Enjoy .. I guess.

Transcript via CNN:

QUESTION: In your opinion, what are the top three functions of the United States government?

TRUMP: Well, the greatest function of all by far is security for our nation. I would also say health care, I would also say education. I mean, there are many, many things, but I would say the top three are security, security, security.

We have to have security for our country so that we can continue to exist as a country. We are in danger. Thousands and thousands of people are infiltrating our country. We don’t know who they are.

There’s a very vicious world. We’re living in a very vicious world and we’re doing something that is against a lot of very smart people’s wishes. I can tell you, it’s totally against my wishes.

COOPER: So top three, you’re saying, security.

TRUMP: Security. I say all top three are security, but health care, education, would be probably three that would be top. And then you can go on from there.

But the military and the secure country, so that we have a country. Believe me, we’ve never been in a position, in my opinion, where our country is so vulnerable. Our military is being eaten away.

When General Odierno left recently, a year ago, I was watching him on maybe your show, one of the shows, and he said that the United States Army, the United States military forces have never been so – and I think he used the word depleted. But basically he said they’re exhausted.

COOPER: So just to follow-up, though…

TRUMP: And that’s a pretty – that’s a pretty sad commentary. And honestly, even though he was retiring at the time – and I had a lot of respect for him, good man, but even though he was leaving at the time, people shouldn’t say that because you’re giving the enemy ideas.

But if I get in, our military will be bigger, better, stronger than ever before. It’s the cheapest thing we can do.

COOPER: So in terms of federal government role, you’re saying security, but you also say health care and education should be provided by the federal government?

TRUMP: Well, those are two of the things. Yes, sure. I mean, there are obviously many things, housing, providing great neighborhoods…


COOPER: Aren’t you against the federal government’s involvement in education? don’t you want it to devolve to states?

TRUMP: I want it to go to state, yes. Absolutely. I want – right now…

COOPER: So that’s not part of what the federal government’s…


TRUMP: The federal government, but the concept of the country is the concept that we have to have education within the country, and we have to get rid of common core and it should be brought to the state level.

COOPER: And federal health care run by the federal government?

TRUMP: Health care – we need health care for our people. We need a good – Obamacare is a disaster. It’s proven to be…

COOPER: But is that something the federal government should be doing?

TRUMP: The government can lead it, but it should be privately done. It should be privately done. So that health care – in my opinion, we should probably have – we have to have private health care. We don’t have competition in health care.

The problem that we have in our country is we don’t have competition. It’s made because the politicians – by the way, I’m self-funding. I am self-funding. So the health care companies aren’t taking care of me. But they’re taking care of everyone else.

Wait one second. We don’t have – we don’t have bidding. We don’t have competition in health care. And it’s a disaster. Obamacare, if you take a look at your premiums, they’re going up 35 percent, 45 percent, 55 percent, and the deductibles are so high, you’ll never get to use it.