I love the military.

I don’t come from a military family per se, but my daddy was a SEAL in Vietnam, and I’ve been taught a healthy respect and gratitude for the men and women who keep me safe everyday.

I do not tolerate careless, salacious, or hypercritical, ignorant comments about the United States Military.

So, needless to say, when I saw this little gem today (h/t to Janis for bringing it to my attention) I not only spat Diet Coke all over my laptop…I also fought the urge to puke onto my keyboard:

The Death Book for Veterans

Last year, bureaucrats at the VA’s National Center for Ethics in Health Care advocated a 52-page end-of-life planning document, “Your Life, Your Choices.” It was first published in 1997 and later promoted as the VA’s preferred living will throughout its vast network of hospitals and nursing homes. After the Bush White House took a look at how this document was treating complex health and moral issues, the VA suspended its use. Unfortunately, under President Obama, the VA has now resuscitated “Your Life, Your Choices.”

Lovely. A while into the article, Jim Towey gives us a few glowing examples of exactly what’s included in this friendly little document:

“Your Life, Your Choices” presents end-of-life choices in a way aimed at steering users toward predetermined conclusions, much like a political “push poll.” For example, a worksheet on page 21 lists various scenarios and asks users to then decide whether their own life would be “not worth living.”

The circumstances listed include ones common among the elderly and disabled: living in a nursing home, being in a wheelchair and not being able to “shake the blues.” There is a section which provocatively asks, “Have you ever heard anyone say, ‘If I’m a vegetable, pull the plug’?” There also are guilt-inducing scenarios such as “I can no longer contribute to my family’s well being,” “I am a severe financial burden on my family” and that the vet’s situation “causes severe emotional burden for my family.”

I’ll give you a minute to clean up the vomit.

Until I Googled it, I didn’t really know what the VA “Death Book” was. Now I know, and I’m afraid of it. I have to admit that until today, I haven’t really been afraid of what’s going on in Washington. I’ve been concerned, and I’ve made a lot of noise about what I feel are irresponsible policy decisions, but I never even came close to fear.

This thing scares me, and here’s why: if the Administration holds such little regard for the lives of people who put their lives on the line to defend America’s right and ability to exist, how does the Administration regard my life? (Sounds selfish, but I’m really not. Just hear me out.) America’s soldiers are heroes: they spend a great deal of time living in the gutter of global society, putting their lives on the line (and sometimes even taking lives, which is unimaginably horrifying no matter how you look at it) so the rest of us don’t have to go to bed at night wondering whether or not there will be a tomorrow.

And these are the people that the self-righteous bastards inside the beltway want to put to sleep, just as they would an old, lame dog.

I can’t imagine what they’d do to me if I was somehow incapacitated or otherwise rendered useless to the well-being of society, or however it is they’ve decided to sugar-coat this monstrous initiative. Wake up call! I wonder if any of the people who support this policy have thought about it that way.

Since I’m in the mood to make dramatic declarations, here’s one you can write down and hold me to:

I promise, here and now, that if I can use my law degree to do so, I will take down each and every one of the disgusting, soulless monsters who wrote and support this despicable document. I will be graduating law school in 2012 (go figure) so if Obama gets reelected, I’ll have my work cut out for me. I will not in good conscience allow this sort of thing to happen if I do indeed have the power to fight it.

Got that? That means you, Dr. Robert Pearlman, and you too, President Barack Hussein Obama. I am not prepared to be nice about this. What you have done with your death book is demean, impugn, and disrespect those for which you should fall to your knees every night and thank God; without them, you might be dead. Or under the rule of a totalitarian dictator. Without them, our country would have gone down in flames a long time ago–and you would have gone down with it.

Crossposted at The Minority Report

I don’t normally pay a lot of attention to people I don’t particularly care about. I’ve been called enough names and accused of enough BS to know that the battle usually isn’t worth my time.

But this one was just too much fun to pass up.

If you know me or my writing at all, you’ll know I have a bit of a history regarding the writings of the lovely Meghan McCain. To make a long story short, we tend to disagree on…things, and stuff: namely, on the fact that she’s a conservative, and that I am an extreme right-wing meanie who hates gays and wants to shoot illegal immigrants as they come across the border.

Par for the course.

At any rate, Meghan recently put out her latest finger-wagging admonition against the GOP in the form of a formal declaration of war against Michelle Malkin, people without tattoos, and “the extreme right wing.” Interesting concept, considering 1) people like Michelle (and I) are nowhere near “extreme” and 2) Miss McCain herself claims to be absolutely conservative. Cute how that works out.

Personally, I don’t really care whether or not Meghan McCain shuts up or keeps flapping her jaws until the day she dies. What I don’t appreciate, and what I think most conservative pundits who have come under fire for criticizing her don’t appreciate, is the fact that she does exactly what she abhors and condemns in the “far right wing” of the GOP: the seeks to realize her agenda by way of pushing other people out of the party! Her telling me to shut up is the same as me telling her to shut up.

In short, her logic fails. Miserably.

Anyway, let’s wade through this thing and rip her apart, shall we? I know it’s what you’ve been waiting for.

So Michelle Malkin successfully rounds out the trifecta of extreme female conservative pundits, following Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter, who believe that I, and Republicans like me, need to shut up and get out of the party…What do Malkin and the other conservative pundits hope to accomplish by arguing that people “like me” have no place within the Republican Party? And who exactly are people “like me”? Young people? Moderate people? Young female people? People with tattoos who go to biker rallies?

True…the trifecta of fabulous conservative snark is indeed in play. First of all, I’d like to say that women tend to be a little…bitchy…when it comes to criticizing the work and wisdom of other women. I know I am, which is fine, as long as you can back up the bitchiness with crazy things like facts and smart commentary and whatnot. This is not the case with Meghan. Is she not, essentially, telling people to shut up and get out of her way? Is that not what she complains about every 15 seconds on Twitter? Fantastic.

Then comes the “I’m going to SHOCK them with my tattoos and bad behavior!!!!!” part of the post. It’s really my favorite part, because 1) she’s assuming that all young people are just like her and 2) that no conservative in the history of the universe has ever gotten a tattoo or ridden a motorcycle. Also, cute how she accidentally labeled herself a “moderate”…did you see that? At least she’s finally admitting it.

I don’t know exactly what about me threatens them so much, other than that people are listening to me. Malkin has the No. 1 book on The New York Times bestseller hardcover nonfiction list, but I have nearly twice as many Twitter followers as she does. And trust me, Twitter is more of an indication of where young people are than books published by the hyper-conservative publisher Regnery—which will be bringing you Carrie Prejean’s new book and published one of Ann Coulter’s.

Okay…exactly who is threatened here? Comparing NYT bestsellers to Twitter followers? Really? Trust me, Meghan, if you took away people like me who follow you for pure entertainment purposes, you’d be significantly less proud of your follower count. (Which applies to all of us, actually, but who cares?) Plus, young people aren’t the only people who count. And for the record, I’m young and I read books, so there goes that piece of logic.

There is a place for the far right in this party, Malkin included, and I respect their right to be heard. But the Republican Party will continue to lose elections unless we start reaching out in a more effective way to people my age and to moderates. Barack Obama won the last election on the slogan “Yes We Can,” and there is no reason why Republicans can’t go forth and win elections with equally positive messages. We will not get anywhere by continuing to sell hate and fear…The old conservatives of the past need to start accepting that this is a new era and I am a part of a new generation. I am as sick of the infighting as everyone else, but I would like to point out that I am not the one starting this fight or demanding that the other half of the party leave.

Uh huh. There’s a place for me, a member of the “far right” crazy mob, but we should probably shut up so we don’t offend the sensibilities of those members of the party with questionable morals and an overwhelming desire to please everyone. Got that, everyone? Moe? Erick? EPU? STOP OFFENDING PEOPLE! It’s your fault we’re losing elections. Wake up, think young, and get serious. We, the youth of the world, have our iPods, our motorcycles, and our tattoos, and we’re taking over. And we’re going to be POSITIVE about it, because God knows all of your hateful fear mongering over the years has completely destroyed any chance the Republicans have of kissing the butts of people who live to destroy conservatives. UGH. Now my buzz is totally harshed. Thanks a lot.

It’s true that Democrats make being a member appealing in a much different way than the Republican Party does. The Democrats seem to have mastered inclusiveness—whereas Republicans, like a country club, seem to require a litmus test.

Ah. This is it. The motherload. The epic finger-wag we’ve all been waiting for. I’m so…ashamed of myself. I mean, here I was, sticking to my principles and working hard to prove that it’s possible for young people like myself to appreciate conservatism without compromising every time our values contradict someone else’s life choices, when all of a sudden my eyes are opened by this little gem of wisdom from a young, progressive conservative just trying to make a difference in this crazy world. Wow!

The only reason the Democrat party is more appealing to the population at large is that they require no commitment. Their values and goals change with the winds of “popular opinion,” which means that the have no real mission other than to appeal to the whims of the majority. Sounds like something I’d like to be a part of.

Right…If I were a flaky idealist with schmutz for brains and a compulsive need to validate my existence with meaningless rhetoric and shock value.

Which I’m not. So I guess as far as all those young, hopeful, progressive conservatives are concerned, I’m a lost cause.

Sorry, Meghan.

Crossposted at The Minority Report

You know, every once in a while these people redeem themselves. Juuuuust a little bit.
Ordering Pizza in 2010

I don’t know about you guys, but I got tense just listening to this. It might sound ridiculous, but after everything that’s been revealed since January, I can see this happening in America. With the amount of rhetoric that’s spun every day by Obama and his goons, it would probably be pretty easy:

In order to fully serve the citizens of this great nation, all service operations will be plugged in to a cross-country grid.

In order to ensure efficiency within the grid, all citizens will be assigned a national ID number. This is mandatory.

In order to fully repair (read: regulate) our struggling economy, all bank card purchases will be tracked.

In order to completely revamp our national health care system, we will require your measurements, a detailed list of your eating habits, and full access to your medical records.

…

In order to ensure compliance, anyone refusing a national ID number/participation in the services offered within the grid will be subject to property confiscation and reeducation.

Crazy? Of course. Impossible? I think not.

Originally Posted at The Minority Report

Things are changing.

The distinction between “left” and “far left” is getting more and more muddied. Center-left liberals may turn their noses up at hardline leftist activism, but they’ll go along with it and defend it with their last breath. Conversely, most true conservatives abhor the sort of “activism” espoused by the far right, and condemn extremism. However, the left has taken control of this dialogue of extremes, and has all but eliminated any practical distinction between conservatism and right wing extremism. As a result, there’s been a lot of chatter about conservatives believing this and advocating that and enthusiastically participating in the screwing-over of women, children, minorities, the disadvantaged, the infirm, the oppressed, the wretched, and the disenfranchised.

I’m not bringing it up because I’m particularly bothered by it, but because I’m afraid that our leadership is content to let the left define our own agenda. Our illustrious representatives address the constant vicious attacks in passing, but no one really seems to have the guts to really stand up for conservatism not only as an ideal but as a movement. Maybe it’s because they’re chicken, or maybe it’s because the majority of them have abandoned ship in favor of nice-guy politics; but either way, something needs to change. Embracing the status quo will mean the destruction of conservatism as a legitimate movement. We’re already in trouble in the eyes of the public at large; people hear “conservative” and they immediately think “racist, gay-hating, bible-beating warmongerers WITH GUNS! For God’s sake, LOCK THE DOORS!”

I’m sure the problem at hand is obvious: this does not define, in any way, conservatism. The fact that people associate people like us with ideologies like that is conclusive proof of the pervasive nature of “progressive” thought—it’s hitting people from all sides, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We can only hope to counter the barrage with our own solid talking points. What I’ve done here is provide a brief, three-dimensional look at some hot-button issues in order to encourage constructive dialogue. I can guarantee not everyone will agree with what I’ve said, but one of the beautiful things about being a conservative is not caring at all about the opinions of others.

GUNS
The Liberal* Perspective: GUNS WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN!
The Right Wing Extremist Perspective: I may or may not kill someone with this gun…and that is exhilarating to me.
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: See the Second Amendment. Furthermore, I could kill you just as easily with this knife/baseball bat/Bic pen/my thumb (come closer and I’ll show you.) So, seriously…shut up. If you’re afraid of guns, then stay away from them for everyone’s safety; but keep your hands off of mine!

COMMUNITY ORGANIZING
The Liberal Perspective: We will rebuild communities…or else.
The RWE Perspective: Burn it down, and use the land for a training camp.
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: I don’t hate black people. Or Mexican people. Or people of Asian descent. I’m even alright with the Europeans. I think helping out struggling communities is okay, and that after-school programs are worthy of everyone’s support. What I DO hate, however, are race-hustlers who do nothing but look for fights. I’m all for helping out struggling families and at-risk children, but please, stop making it all about race. I don’t feel bad about being a white kid from the sticks, and I never will. Nothing you can do will change that. So please, let me volunteer and support the charities of my choice in peace. I want to help, but I sure as hell am not going to give my time and energy to an organization that is happy to accuse me of racism just because of the color of my skin. (I’m looking at you, ACORN.)

ABORTION
The Liberal Perspective: Would it be in poor taste to print coupons for this?
The RWE Perspective: Would it be in poor taste to shoot doctors over this?
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: Imagine the most disgusting, the most abhorrent, the most horrifying crime one could commit—the willful, intentional murder of a child. Now, imagine that a very large group of your peers has decided that murdering a child is acceptable if the child’s death would somehow add a measure of convenience, safety, or happiness to the life of his mother. That’s how the majority of conservatives feel about abortion. It’s not about privacy or sexual liberation or anyone’s “right” to have control over her body. It’s got nothing to do with politics, or ideological dogma. It does, however, have everything to do with that tiny person living inside someone’s uterus.

THE ENVIRONMENT
The Liberal Perspective: Save the whales, to hell with the people!
The RWE Perspective: BURN THE EARTH!
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: This one is difficult, because I’d like nothing more than to torpedo the boat the “Whale Wars” idiots float around on, then head back to shore and spray a can of Aqua Net into the air while burning a precious redwood and drinking bottled water (FOREVER in a landfill. FOREVER, people ) out of pure spite.

Okay, snark OFF.

But seriously. Common sense, people. Should we do our best to take care of dear Mother Earth? Of course we should! But enacting regulations to save the planet at the expense of the people living on it is asinine. Life is not an extended version of The Giving Tree; I firmly believe God blessed us with life on this planet, and intends us to use its resources to their full potential. We’re not going to hurt the Earth’s feelings if we drill for oil, use non-sulfate-free shampoo, or neglect to find a recycle bin for that plastic bottle (THE HORROR.)

My advice? Respect the Earth, but don’t be afraid to use it. Take care of the animals, but don’t be afraid to use them for food, or to defend yourself, your family, or your property against them. Clean up after yourself, and remember that you’re not the only one trying to survive here.

Oh, and one more thing. Al Gore is full of crap.

HATE CRIMES
The Liberal Perspective: WHARGARBL!!!!111!!!!1!!!11!!!!!1!
The RWE Perspective: ~points gun at the liberals, waits calmly for a reason~
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: No one should have to live in fear because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, affiliation with the military (yep, I said it), or any non-pervasive lifestyle choice. We’ve seen some horrific hate crimes; nobody is arguing that. But when it comes down to it, when a crime has been committed, it has been committed against a PERSON. Bringing race, etc. into the mix muddies the waters. It causes people to look for specific reasons for hate when none exist, and makes racists out of people who committed crimes against minorities without considering the protected status of their victim.

HEALTH CARE
The Liberal Perspective: It’s free, except that it’s not! See how simple our plan is?
The RWE Perspective: When I’m finished with ‘em, they won’t need a doctor.
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: I do not advocate allowing someone to lie dying in their bed because they cannot afford to pay a doctor. I do not have a problem with hospitals treating trauma patients who could never in a million years pay for the care they will die without. I do not think it is okay to stand by while another human being is suffering and in pain. When it comes to looking out for people, I consider it tax dollars well-spent. However (I say “however” a lot…it drives my liberal friends CRAZY) I do not, in any way, advocate taxing the life out of more fortunate citizens so that the less-fortunate can milk the system for preventative care and “wellness” promotion. You know what I do to promote health and “wellness” in my life? I take care of my body. What a concept! Exercising and eating right can do wonders for a person.

I know what you’re going to say. “But Amy, some people have MAJOR health problems! Like cancer! Are you going to give those people an apple and send them on their way, you hateful fascist drone?????” No, I do not wish to send cancer patients on their way. This issue for me is tricky, and I don’t claim to have all the answers; but what I do know is that it is 100% out of line to force hardworking American citizens to foot the bill for universal coverage via some sort of “public plan.”

FOREIGN POLICY
The Liberal Perspective: Iran has some good ideas! And besides, those nuclear power plants are part of an emerging energy program.
The RWE Perspective: NUKE EVERYONE but us. Right now. I’ll push the button.
Amy’s Conservative Perspective: This one is really the mother load. I did a whole diary about it a while back, and I stand by what I said. I think that America is the greatest country on the planet, and I’d give my life to defend her. I don’t take that responsibility lightly; I’ve seen what happens in places where people don’t defend themselves and their ideals, and I’d rather die than live like that. I think that democracy and capitalism are good, and that if we’re not careful Socialism will take over and destroy this country. I don’t advocate sending in the Marines every time there’s an uprising in a foreign county, but I do think it’s okay to intervene when situations spiral out of control and threaten the security of this great country. I think President Obama is wrong every time he panders to foreign leaders who hold no respect for him, and that it is dangerous to screw around with people who actively sponsor the destruction of other countries. (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, you have been called out.) American exceptionalism has nothing to do with being “better” than others on a personal level; it only means that we believe that what we’re doing as a country is good, and that we want other countries to apply the lessons we’ve learned to what they’re trying to do.

I have been accused many times of being part of the “fringe.” According to some, I’m one episode of the “Glenn Beck Program” away from donning a swastika and marching on the NAACP headquarters. What I have learned is that people who say these kinds of things do not understand what it means to exist on the extreme fringe of any ideology. Those who truly exist on the fringe seek to achieve their ends through hurt, fear, and destruction. Right wing extremists seek to divide through violence, terror, and racial, “religious” (careful, now) and ideological tyranny. The far-left claims to achieve equality, but ends up creating social and political divides through guilt, theft (income redistribution, anyone?) and ideological capitulation.

Here’s what I know: today’s liberals confuse honest efforts for improvement with a desire for power and control. When they look at true conservatives, they confuse differences of opinion with hostile power grabs, and prudence of thought with laziness and ambivalence. They confuse our concern over their drastic policies with hatred, and an insatiable desire to marginalize and impugn.

(Of course, this is not true of any person who actually cleaves to rational conservative doctrine, but it’s so much easier to assume than to get the facts. But then again, if most liberals did indeed take the time to get the facts, they would not be liberals at all.)

Today’s liberals deny the fact that “fringe” liberals are in charge of many of the institutions they put their faith in; they claim that the liberals I speak of are not part of the majority, but part of the fringe. Let me just say, for all the token liberal trolls out there: if you say that what I believe to be the liberal majority is in fact the liberal fringe, then your fringe is pretty mainstream.

I am not calling for a frenzied power-grab by the men and women currently attempting to represent conservatives in this country. To be perfectly honest, we’re not ready for that. In order for something like that to work, the people in charge must be prepared to defend and be proud of conservatism. They must be prepared to defend conservative people, and not be afraid to stand up for the conservative constituency. It will take a lot of work. We’re going to have to stop doing stupid things like helping Nancy Pelosi ram through irresponsible legislation, or throwing wayward governors under the bus just as the left sinks its teeth into a delicious scandal.

The fact that sites like this exist and flourish is proof that the conservative population at large is ready for its own brand of change (and hope…don’t forget the hope.) The fact that “conservative” leaders beat around the bush and make deals and compromise on the most fundamental issues is proof that the establishment is not yet ready for an overhaul. It’s up to us to facilitate the change we wish to see, and to hold our leaders accountable for their choices and actions. It’s up to us to fiercely counter liberal lies with conservative truths, and to hold ourselves accountable so that conservatism can once again become more than a harried whisper in a room full of booming discourse and broken promises.

*Yes, I realize that not all liberals feel this way. Relax, and learn to recognize snark when you see it.

Crossposted at The Minority Report

A while back, I posted a diary about how the GOP (and, in a way, the conservative movement as a whole) needs to ramp up its message in order to reach people of my generation. As I was sifting through the comment threads and other responses I got (I assure you they were many and varied,) I got to thinking about the core values of conservative ideology, and how those values are misunderstood and misrepresented amongst people my age.

After a lot of time, an entire legal pad, and a lot of caffeine, I realized that everything we conservatives tend to feel misunderstood about can be traced back to one, all-important core conservative value: one that has been twisted, sullied, and bastardized almost past the point of no return.

That “value” is the one of American Exceptionalism. It seems like more and more, the liberals in Washington—with the help of their friends in the MSM and their trusty minions in the field—are attempting to make it abundantly clear that it is no longer appropriate (or even acceptable) to regard America with anything more than a vague sort of partiality based only in necessity and relative fondness.

It disgusts me.

I do not believe that the conservative movement can once again take hold of this country without clearing away the liberal mythos surrounding American exceptionalism. As I said in my previous diary, this can’t happen without reaching out to the people of my generation. We’ve been steeping away in a sea of liberal dogma ever since we learned about self-esteem in conjunction with our ABC’s. Since I can remember, I have been encouraged to learn about other countries, embrace other cultures, and above all, to never put myself above others. I was told I was unique and special—just like every other unique and special kid in the room.

I don’t believe this sort of mindset works when it comes to preserving and protecting a place that is firmly planted in the sights of every hostile country with a missile powerful enough to reach our shores. It must be shaken loose. It’s time for this country’s world to be rocked, and I think we would do well to begin the rocking with my generation.

When I first got the idea for this diary, I made a note on Facebook which posed a simple question: How do you feel about American exceptionalism? I’ve posted a few of their responses below, along with my own pithy commentary, because I could not simply let them get away with everything they said, even if they are among my closest friends.

I think that American Exceptionalism is very much alive and well and perhaps ridiculous. While it’s nice to walk around our continent feeling smug and wonderful because we are not easily accessible by train to the French, this country’s attitude has changed from being “the land of the free” to the “land of the privileged and if you’re not from here you should be mowing…” What really irks me recently, is the turned noses at anything un-American; such as when Bollywood creates spectacular films or foreign carmakers are inventing hybrids or energy efficient cars that are completely ignored. It’s ethnocentrism, and the media (tv, films) have portrayed other countries and cultures as clichés for so long that Americans are beginning to believe it. It’s kind of dehumanizing… So yeah, exceptionalism is cool, because we can believe that we are striving to be exceptional and different and the best in the world, but lately it’s ridiculous…

My friend here has a completely valid point. From what I’ve seen, we live in a time that embraces cultural diversity when it’s related to something new or trendy. (Think belly dancing lessons, or those Chinese character tattoos people were so crazy about.) This in itself is disappointing; people who miss out on other cultures miss out on much indeed. However, I think his accusation regarding America’s “attitude” is somewhat off-base. I can only assume that he is referring to the so-called “conservative” viewpoint that America is the Land of the Americans, so by all means let’s build us a fence and keep them damn foreigners out before they take over (‘cause dammit you know they’re tryin’!) What so many people don’t get is that there is a difference between believing that this country is great, and believing that everyone else’s country sucks.

I’m going to have to go once was, but is no more. I think the erosion of our desire to be exceptional is partially due to becoming complacent with our success. Also, I think a lot of it has to do with the (let’s just say it) liberal media and borderline socialist academic institutions that shape the minds of our leaders. That and the fact that we’ve gradually but surely forgotten that this country was founded on self-reliance and limited government. The prevailing mood in this country (at least temporarily, the pendulum swings back and forth) is that we are merely just another country in the world, one of many. That could not be farther from the truth. It was the American Revolution that indirectly overthrew the monarchies of Europe and led to democracies throughout the world. No country in the history of the world has done more to further the human condition (economically and politically) than the United States of America. It’s a shame that our president does not understand this.

Overall, I think he’s right…at least on a philosophical level. The pendulum has indeed swung back into Leftie territory. People have disregarded history, forgotten how we got to where we are, and refused to acknowledge what we have to do to keep ourselves going. What I disagree with is that American exceptionalism is “no more.” I think that, just as it always does, the pendulum will swing back to a place where it will once more be acceptable to love your country (and your neighbor) as you love yourself.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of our achievements. We’ve been the light of the world for a very long time, and certainly remain so in many ways. The problem occurs when we become guilty of hubris. Just because we have a great country with a grand tradition doesn’t make it all right for us to run roughshod over the other people, err…countries, on the block. By all means, we should remain bold and wise, and we should certainly retain our place as the leading nation of nations. But we should retain our humility, even as we recognize our excellence. To break it down to a sports analogy, take Peyton Manning as opposed to Michael Vick. Both are exceptional athletes. Both have lead teams down the road of victory, and garnered great accolades. Michael Vick was too cool for school, and believed he was above the rules. He often showcased at the expense of his team. Peyton Manning has his flaws, but he owns up to them, and is the focal point of his team because of his leadership and humility. He knows that while he is the best person on the team, he is still only as successful as his O-line, his receivers, his running back, and his defense. One of them has a Superbowl ring. The other has an ankle ring. Perhaps attitude has something to do with it?

I started off nodding along with this one, because I firmly believe there’s a difference between believing in your country, and damning/bowling over/laying waste to the rest. Then I got to the part where we’re owning up to our flaws and being humble, and I could have sworn that Barack Obama was masquerading as one of my Facebook friends! (I kid! I kid!…mostly.)

Listen. I, along with most reasonable people, do not believe that America has a mandate to crusade around the globe, converting the savages and building Wal-Marts in third world countries. However, the moment we stop acting like “the light of the world” and start shuffling around with a sheepish look on our face is the moment we lose our credibility when it comes to standing up to sleazebags like Ahmedinejad and Putin. For so long, America has been the exception proving the rule. Our self-realized uniqueness as a global power has been integrated into foreign and domestic policy for a very long time; once we start backtracking and making reparations (yes, I said REPARATIONS) for years and years of legitimate ideological conflict, people might just begin to wonder if America really stands for what she says she stands for—and if she might be bent into submission.

American Exceptionalism is an esoteric term that is easily translated into another esoteric term, “jingoism”. It is a narrow minded, knee jerk response to charges of hypocrisy when the City on the Hill does something while proactively prohibiting the same actions from others. So, in short, I say “nay.”

Yes…there’s really nothing to say to this. I mean, I suppose I could mention the fact that American exceptionalism dates back much farther than the conservative-hating, finger-pointing, spoon-banging smear “doctrine” liberals cling to. I could also mention that there is a fundamental difference between believing your country is perfect, and believing that your country is special. However, that would be pointless because people who espouse this belief also hold fast to the idea that people like me are nothing but deluded, warmongering, dogmatic hypocrites…so why bother? (Note: the person who wrote this response is indeed a friend of mine. When it comes to politics, we oscillate between complete détente and occasional saber-rattling. The impossible…now possible!)

That would be hell yes. And I’m so disappointed that our current President disagrees. He cries about how we are 5% of the world’s population but use 25% of the resources like that’s a bad thing. He would like us to be more like Zimbabwe. I’m glad that I live in the greatest country in the world and know that our country is not so great at the expense of others, but that our country is incredibly supportive of other countries such as President Bush’s Africa AIDS assistance.

HELL YEAH!

Here we are: the few, the proud, the young Americans who are willing to stand up for the greatness of this country without conditions, exceptions, or equivocations. Who can say without a guilty conscience that America is indeed the greatest country in the world, and that we got where we are by honest sweat, blood, and gumption.

Maintaining the integrity of this viewpoint is so, so important. All the frustration with President Obama aside, this really gets to the heart of what American exceptionalism means. It’s not about running roughshod or imposing values, or using and losing our allies when it’s convenient. It’s not just waving a flag on Independence Day, or proving a point by sewing a patch on your backpack next time you travel to Europe. What it is about is falling in love with America, and having faith in the ideals she was founded on. It’s about standing up for her principles, and defending her when those principles are threatened.

I had a long discussion with a friend about all of this, and I think he had a great point when he said that he was fine with sitting down and discussing solutions and issues with other people, as long as at the end of the day, you can still tell those other people that they’re wrong. It goes back to the fundamental idea that we are indeed exceptional, and that means that we aren’t obligated to go along with solutions that are inconsistent with our ideas of right.

So, here’s what we’re up against. This is what we need to fix before we can even begin to regain a conservative hold on the hearts and minds of young Americans. It won’t be easy, and it might take a while, but I think it can be done—because sooner or later, people will realize that while it’s fine and dandy to always play nice with the rest of the world, it’s going to take a lot more than “robust debate” to maintain our reputation as a City on a Hill.

Crossposted at The Minority Report

It’s my birthday today. I’m 24! It’s a pretty useless age…luckily I have presents and cake to fill the void left by my inability to rent a car without signing my soul away.

Anyway, I’m feeling nostalgic and contemplative. Looking back, it’s interesting to see where I’ve been and where I’m going. I went to a fairly conservative Big Ten university, but surrounded myself with enough liberal friends to send Rush Limbaugh into spasms; I started out as an engineer, but moved on to political science because I realized that while I would have made a good engineer, I will make a GREAT lawyer. Now I’m moving on to yet another Big Ten school, where I’ll battle my way though a decidedly “moderate” (we’ll see) program and emerge, hopefully unscathed, with two graduate degrees. Not bad for a girl from a 3000 population town in flyover country, right?

It’s amazing to me that I never jumped ship from conservatism into the murky waters of modern liberalism and the “progressive” agenda. It certainly would have made my life a heck of a lot easier: I’ve spent more than my fair share of time battling my way through idiotic debates with “progressives” who wouldn’t know good policy if it walked up and gave them a healthy smack on the rear—which, in hindsight, is probably in itself the reason I never took the plunge. I delight in the ridiculous, but put stock in things that actually make sense. But what about everyone else?

By “everyone else,” I mean the thousands of people in my generation who stood up, lent an ear to, and drank the kool-aid of one of the most liberal Presidential candidates in galactic history. I went through the entire election season, from primaries to election night, being alternately baffled and dismayed at their reactions; at first I couldn’t see how this rookie senator hailing from the most corrupt political machine in the country could take an election from a seasoned senator and decorated war hero. Later on though, when it was all said and done, I began to see how party politics, coupled with the seductive cult of personality (and a healthy dose of irrational emotion) led to the complete dismantling of the GOP and ultimately the election of Barack Obama. Now, many are asking not only “What’s next for the GOP?” but “What’s next for the youth of America?” This past election proved that reaching the younger demographic is crucial to winning an election.

The GOP has found itself in a very interesting situation. In theory, this would be a great time to stand up, brush off the dirt and prove to Obama’s young, liberal support base that the GOP may be down, but it’s certainly not out. However, out of all the e-mails, tweets, blogs, and websites I see every day, I’m not seeing much to contradict my theory that the GOP, as a whole, does not “get” my generation, never mind the scores of young liberals fawning at the feet of Barack Obama. I want this to change, not only because it’s embarrassing to watch our current leaders trying to be down with the hip hop culture, or whatever it is they’re trying to do, but because I want to be able to identify with the greatest party in this country! Rather than orchestrating a drive-by flaming of the leadership, I decided to just put a few ideas out there, in hopes that somebody might read it and turn things around.

The Hardliners vs. the T-Shirt Collectors
From my experience, young “liberals” (and run of the mill young politicos, for that matter) can be broken down into two separate and unequal categories: the liberals who actually believe what they say, and the “liberals” who show up at rallies for the complimentary ham sandwich and Frisbee. (There is, of course, a third category consisting of those shining bastions of promise that couldn’t care less about politics, this country, or their future, but I’m going to ignore them because I find them annoying and generally worthless. Let’s concentrate on the ones worth working with, shall we?) The hardliners are not your target audience; while they may not have all the answers themselves, they honestly believe that a “progressive” path is indeed the wave of the future, and anyone who disagrees with them is an obstructionist. They have their own sets of facts and figures, and can generally prove that they have the capacity to read a book and form coherent thoughts. This viewpoint is not, in its purest form, as hostile as you may like to believe; however, people who follow this line of reasoning are the ones who, after a mere 15 minutes of conversation, make you feel like you’ve just drilled your head through a cinder block wall. They believe what they believe, and to hell with the man, woman, or child who dares to question their good intentions. They mean well, so get out of their way!

We need to focus our attention on the other category: the “t-shirt collectors.” These people usually have a generally progressive point of view, but their political moxie comes less from established personal doctrine and more from passing political trends and hot-button issues like abortion or gay marriage. The doctrine of “why can’t we all just get along,” as well as the doctrine of “hey, have some free stuff!” rings clear with this group of liberals, and that is what makes it particularly difficult to win them over. Converting the squish takes time, patience, conviction, and above all, a game plan. Engage these people–listen to what they have to say, and tailor your message to them. Drive-by politics may work for the left, but it certainly will never work for a party that’s already flailing, and can’t afford another big loss.

The Party of ‘O’ and the Cult of Sparkling Personality

Listening to a young liberal compare Democrats to Republicans is like hearing a historian compare Mother Theresa with Attila the Hun. On one hand, you’ve got the hardworking dreamer with a heart of gold; on the other, you’ve got a bloodthirsty criminal hell-bent on world domination. There is no middle ground, no common mission, no chance of reconciliation.

The Democrat Party has evolved into a personality cult. Don’t believe me? Consider their figurehead! Consider their high-profile supporters! Joe the Plumber cannot compare with Brangelina and Jessica Alba. In the eyes of the world, the GOP is the creepy redneck next door who invites you over to help skin rabbits and clean shotguns; meanwhile, the Democrat Party is that guy—the one who knows a guy who can get you what you want. The Democrat Party spends its time at posh clubs flirting with movie stars, and we’re the squares who sit at home doing nerd things like weaving American flags and whittling miniature Revolutionary War-era battle cannons out of single blocks of wood. It may not be the truth, but it’s the prevailing stereotype.

Stop for a moment and, in as objective a manner as possible, consider the rise of Barack Obama. (I know it’s hard, but so is life, so man up.) This guy came from out in left field somewhere, kissed a few babies, and ended up slithering right into the Oval Office. He didn’t do that by demonstrating unparalleled knowledge in economics and foreign policy. Oh no, he did that by rolling up his sleeves, immersing himself in pop culture, and making crass jokes about conservatism—all while creating a kind of mystique about himself. As much as you may dislike him, Barack Obama has it. He has that thing that makes people want him; he’s a rockstar, only instead of wearing leather pants, he wears Italian suits and silk ties. It’s that thing that allows him to pass off sloppy rhetoric as healthy domestic policy, and cruel ideology as rationality. By way of Barack Obama, the Left has deftly and brilliantly separated politics from personality, guaranteeing their candidates a free pass when things go wrong.

The only way to outwit the Left on this one is to create a cohesive personality for the GOP and conservatism as a whole. The Left has “change,” but we as conservatives are guided by our faith in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness! A figurehead, someone we can rally around, will come in time; but for now, it is crucial that we reestablish ourselves as a party of ideals rooted in hundreds of years of history. Drive those tent stakes deep, because the left will do their best to ruffle any and all efforts to create a cohesive conservative image.

The Mess We’ve Made

Conservatives stand for individual freedom and individual rights that do not infringe on the individual rights of others. That’s why they are defined the way they are. The paternal/maternal government approach of Democrats and Socialists sounds awfully nice but it’s like living in your parents’ house your whole life. The more able you are to take care of yourself, the more you will resent having to live by your parents’ rules. Some day we all need to learn to accept responsibility for ourselves and our acts. Democrats believe that day should be put off as long as possible, or the government should take care of all adult decisions while letting the people stay like children their whole lives. Republicans believe that the day of emancipation from parents should happen as soon as possible, because history tells us that’s how people can be happiest with their lives.
~LJ “Beaglescout” Miller

Before I began to write this diary, I asked a few friends what they thought the GOP’s biggest problems were when attempting to relate to the young Americans, particularly young Liberals. Time and again, cultural relevance hit the list. This is the biggie, and it will make or break every campaign from here to eternity. Like it or not, America has evolved into a society of Facebooking , Tweeting, cell phone-clutching culture junkies, and the Democrats are leaps and bounds ahead of the GOP as far as harnessing those venues is concerned. We’ve come a long way since November, but we still have a long way to go. Looking beyond the internet, the GOP has got to sit down and revamp their most basic approach to winning the younger demographic. For example: If you’re trying to reach post-retirement Americans, do you target them with a bright, flashy ad complete with driving beats and the latest cultural icon? Or, do you put together something vaguely nostalgic, with soft music and lots of stuff about traditional values? The answer is obvious. The same logic works for ads targeting younger generations. It is completely possible to bend your platform to cater to different groups of people without compromising its message; all you have to do is get down in the trenches and open your eyes to who people are, what they want, and what they need in order to understand and accept what you have to offer.

PAY ATTENTION.
No earmuffs, blinders, or hasty assumptions allowed.

It’s time to stop reacting, and start defining the narrative with conservatism in the forefront. Quit with the apologizing, belt up, and dare someone to label you a racist, misogynistic homophobe for what you believe. Furthermore, stop caring so much about what people think! You know you’re not a racist, misogynistic homophobe, so who the hell cares if some off-his-rocker liberal calls you one? Take it as a compliment—you’ve struck a nerve! The one thing I’ve noticed lately from young liberals is that their main problem with the GOP isn’t conservatism itself, but that the Party is generally confused about its platform, and as a whole refuses to defend itself. The bottom line is, nobody likes a waffling pansy; and at this particular juncture, in the eyes of young America, the GOP has been reduced to a bunch of pandering, waffling pansies with no direction or end game. The progressives in the party are making true conservatives look like gun-waving yahoos; conversely, us gun waving yahoos are making the progressives look like traitorous cowards. Stick a couple of cameras around the state house, and we’ve got a ready-made reality show!

There is a fine line between appealing to the young Left, and succumbing to its dark side; walking (just to the right, of course) that fine line is the key to reaching out without giving up ground. When the GOP finally speaks to young America, compromising values and making concessions will have nothing to do with its success. Proactive and confident conservatism, cultural awareness, and modernity of message, however, will have everything to do with it. Remember, back in September and October, when John McCain would end just about every speech he made with something along the lines of “STAND UP! Stand up and fight for your country! Stand up”? Well, do just that. Stand up and remember what it means to be a conservative. Take time to develop an even deeper appreciation for personal freedom, individualism, perseverance, pride, and responsibility. Then take that message, polish it up, and instead of harking back to the past for anecdotes and examples of conservatism in action, apply it to the here and now. Learn from the past, but live your message 100% in the present.

Toward the beginning of this year, I had a life-changing conversation with a liberal friend. We talked about everything: life, love, work, politics, religion…you name it. He told me he felt frustrated with the so-called stagnant nature of conservatism, and went on to basically flame all conservatives for being maniacal hypocrites. I said to him, “But I’m a conservative. Do you feel this way about me?” He responded that he didn’t, and when I asked why, he said to me, “Because you’re…different. You…listen. I know exactly what you believe, but you don’t make me feel bad about what I believe. I learn something new every time I talk to you.”

In substance, it wasn’t much, but as far as potential is concerned, I got one hell of a start that night. The door was still shut, but I found a cracked window, and worked with what I had. If it wants to succeed, the GOP will do the same. Don’t expect instant gratification—you’ll only be disappointed. But the people of my generation crave information, and eventually they’ll find out that the man they elected might not have all of the answers they’re looking for. When that happens, we as conservatives need to be ready to listen, reach out, and teach—rather than resorting to spewing off talking points before running off to the next high-value demographic.

Young people in America are an interesting breed. I’m one of them, and I still laugh every once in a while at the ridiculousness that is (occasionally) my life. We may have an affinity for cheap beer and Jell-O shots, college sports and ridiculous internet memes, tattoos and fast cars, but don’t think for a minute that we’re anything less than a force to be reckoned with. Like it or not, we’re important. We’re here—on your lawn, if you will—and we’re not going anywhere!

Crossposted at The Minority Report

(major h/t to Aaron Gardner and Blue Collar Muse)

Sigh.

Janeane Garofalo is at it again. She still thinks we’re racist, and won’t apologize for it, gosh darn it. Well, I wouldn’t want her to; any apology she is capable of offering would be fake, and she’d probably spin it into more accusations concerning white hoods and cross-burnings in the Rose Garden. I don’t think round two of this sad battle really warrants an academic response, but in the interest of honor (and comedy), I’ll take a crack at it.

Darling Gigi~

I hear you’ve been saying some nasty things about my friends and me. Well, you go right on ahead and keep accusing us of racism (straight up) and hate speech and whatever else your shrunken prune of a brain can come up with. Really, it’s fine! If it makes you feel better about your political irrelevancy, feel free to have a go.

Oh yes, that’s right. Your political irrelevancy. I said it. Yes, I realize that you occasionally participate on various panels and whatnot, but if “you guys are all a bunch of RACISTS” is the best you can come up with, perhaps you should stick to stinking up 24 and leave the politics to those of us who are capable of opening our mouths without jumping the shark into crazy-town*.

I believe you wanted to know where we were for the last 8 years with regards to fiscal imprudence. Well, we were right here, doing just what we’re doing now: writing, speaking out, and behaving like grown ups instead of shrieking loons. (Let me know if you need me to slow down and explain what it means to behave like a grown up. I realize this might be difficult for you.) I think it’s obvious that conservatives are not exactly a protesty bunch. Personally, I’d rather write and debate with my peers; most of us are what Glenn Beck likes to call “reluctant activists.” Anyway, the whole tea party movement really exploded a few months ago, with Rick Santelli’s famous rant . It started as sort of a whim—after all, you DO know, in all your infinite wisdom, that “tea parties” have been springing up haphazardly for over a year, right?—but with Santelli’s help it grew into a public platform for conservatives who have been frustrated for years with the rampant spending that has quickly become the norm in Washington. Let me be clear: if Rick Santelli had made his rant a year and a half earlier, we would have been tea partying-hard a year and a half earlier. It’s that simple. My decision to participate was not a matter of my whiteness vs. Obama’s blackness, as much as you’d like to believe that was the case.

So you go ahead and say what you will about me, my friends here, and the conservative movement. But just keep one thing in mind for the next time you get up on your soapbox: to the far-left base you identify with, you might come across as a no-holds-barred culture warrior, but to the conservative base you hate, you are vapor. We are too dedicated to the success and future of this country to allow the ranting of a few hateful trolls to distract us.

The funny thing is, all it took was a little conservative ranting to distract a patriot like you.

Just a thought.

Your Pal,
Amy

*”Jumping the shark into crazy-town” is hereby defined as: “The practice of the Left, when dealing with any issue or event of substance, to refer to Right wing opponents of said issue or event in over-the-top, irrelevant and hyperbolic terms such as ‘racist’, ‘Nazi’, ‘jack-booted thug’, ‘domestic terrorist’ and a host of other flamboyant and incorrect terms”. (definition courtesy of Blue Collar Muse)

(This comes in response to multiple editorials, diaries, news articles, and general mudslinging regarding Jeb Bush’s comment about nostalgia for the Reagan era.)

Not to be très stupide, but I took Jeb’s words in a completely different context.

Take another look at what is possibly his most scandalous point, only outside of the understandably defensive context in which it has been taken:

My reason for being here is that I think ideas have consequences and we that ought to have a thoughtful discussion about those ideas. And from the conservative side, it’s time for us to listen first, to learn a little bit, to upgrade our message a little bit, to not be nostalgic about the past — because, you know, things do ebb and flow, and it’s nice to remember the good old days when the good guys, if you’re a conservative, were in power. If you’re a liberal, you remember nostalgically when they were in power. None of that matters right now. What we need to do is to listen, to learn, and then there will be a new generation of leaders that will lead. Listen, learn, lead.

To not be “nostalgic about the past” is not the same as forgetting the past and disregarding history. Jeb Bush may be less than a bastion of Conservative might, but that does not render his point moot. He is right. We do need to have thoughtful discussions, and especially now, listen and learn about people not in our happy little tent. I haven’t been playing politics as long as some of you have, but I just escaped from liberal/squish hell, and if I learned anything, it’s that getting inside the head of the left depends upon lending an ear to what they’re thinking. That doesn’t mean agreeing, or being receptive, or trashing the Reagan doctrine, but it does mean taking a time out to consider how they’re thinking and why they’re thinking it. We need to keep Reagan in mind as we look forward, and formulate modern policy based on his core principles.

I cannot speak for the grown-up world quite yet, but I can speak for a chunk of my generation (and hopefully beyond…) and I know for a fact that the GOP’s message needs an update. I do not in any way advocate a shift to the center (reading my older diaries will make you well aware of this fact, so put down the small projectiles) but I do advocate tailoring the conservative message to current issues. It’s time to apply conservative values to the world we live in, instead of just focusing on what the lefties are up to on the Hill. Realize that it’s okay to sit down with a liberal and hash something out respectfully; if you’re talking to a person worth debating, the fact that you are interested in what they have to say will absolutely drive them wild. The way I see it, if someone—even someone whose beliefs are polar opposites of mine—is legitimately mad, or scared, or frustrated about what’s going on in this country, I want to hear about it. Hate the war in Iraq? Let’s hear about it! Feel like abortion should come down to a woman’s right to choose? Lay it on me! Think I’m a fascist loon who hates black people and women? Whatever, just be creative in your insults, if you please.

My point is, if you don’t listen to the people you represent, how can you possibly know what’s important to them? I have had respectful, insightful political debate with whites, blacks, immigrants, expats, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, anarchists, socialists, communists, Zionists, and one very friendly fascist, and the reason that those debates were respectful and productive was because I listened to what those people were telling me, instead of just passively hearing them. The key to winning this war is responding, instead of just sticking to just talking points, or just history, or just how the Left needs a reality check. It’s productive, I promise.

And I’ll just add, I never conceded one conservative point in four years, and I heard an awful lot of “Oh…I understand you now. I never thought about it that way before!”

Music to my ears!

Imagine you are walking down the street, and down a small alley, you see four dogs. It is obvious the dogs were once well-taken care of, but one by one, they were left to fend for themselves. They are skinny, dirty, and you can hear them whimpering. Feeling terrible for them, you decide to nip into the store adjacent to the alley and buy a few cans of dog food, figuring it’s the least you can do. The shopkeeper notices what you are doing, and asks if you plan on feeding the strays in the alley. He is concerned, because he has noticed that the dogs tend to get snappish when the restaurant that shares the alley begins cooking food for the dinner rush. You acknowledge his uneasiness, but take it in stride: after all, they’re hungry! It’s only natural that the smell of food gets them worked up!

You return to the alley and peer into the shadows. The dogs are still there, looking at you curiously. You pop one can of food open, walk a ways down the alley, and set the can on the ground. They dogs approach warily, but once they catch the scent, there is a scrum around the can, and they begin to fight over its contents. Panicking for their safety, you quickly open three more cans and slide them toward the fray; in your haste, you unknowingly spill a bit on your hands and clothing.

You stay and watch until all of the cans of food have been consumed. By this time, you’re feeling pretty good; but as you turn to leave, you feel a wet nose on the palm of your hand. One of the dogs is at your side, inspecting a bit of dog food stuck to the cuff of your shirt. All of a sudden, the other three dogs are trotting toward you to check on the first. You realize that the dogs have smelled the food you spilled on yourself, and they think that you have more. You move quickly toward the street, but the first dog catches your cuff in his teeth, causing you to stumble. Meanwhile, the other three dogs have taken hold of the loose edges of your clothing, and are beginning to get worked up. As the growls turn to yelps, you shout for help and try to pull away, but the pack is convinced that you have more food, and will not relent. Your shouts become screams as you realize that the sticky wetness on your hand is blood; the very dogs you were trying to save have turned on you. Just when you believe all is lost, the shopkeeper sprints into the alley with a small rifle. Taking aim, he shoots one…two…three of the dogs. The fourth turns tail and escapes down the alley and out of sight.

As the shopkeeper helps you to your feet and helps you, broken and bloodied, out of the alley, he asks, “Why didn’t you heed my warning?” Rather than answering, you turn and look back down the alley. The fourth dog has emerged from behind a dumpster, growling a warning as he watches you leave.

After the daring rescue of Captain Phillips on Easter Sunday, many people have come forward with suggestions as to what should be done to combat the growing threats of piracy and insurgency in the Horn of Africa. I just sort of laughed at the more inane ones; however, the rational-sounding ones, coming from all levels of government as well as well-respected pundits, have given me pause. The more I see, the more I am convinced that (oh…arbitrarily high number) 90% of the people out there influencing public opinion on policy in the Horn have very little idea of what is actually going on over there. This in itself is dangerous, considering the staggering effect public opinion has in the current administration. What I have done here is attempt to explain why, up until now, there has been little to no success in gaining some modicum of control over the situation in Somalia. What’s going on over there goes beyond pirates, general political instability, or lack of food and medicine. A deadly combination of clan conflict, border disputes with its African neighbors, and the influence of Islamic extremism began contributing to the devolution of Somalia since well before most Americans knew where exactly they could find the Horn of Africa.

The place we call “Somalia” began as the Arab sultanate of Adel. (Bear with me…the boring history part is already almost over!) The area became populated by way of a mass immigration from the area we now know as Yemen; this, in time, formed the precursor to the clan system we see defining the sociopolitical dynamic of Somalia. In the 1800’s, small chunks of Somalia were divided up amongst European and African nations, instituting a system of colonial rule. Slaves were taken from neighboring countries into Somalia, thus further propagating cultural separation within a common “home” country. What’s important to remember about Somalia is that it hasn’t existed in a true state of peace since…ever, really. Since the dissolution of the sultanate in the 1500’s, Somalia has existed in pieces, either by way of colonialism or because of clans’ territorial borders. This reality becomes critical when trying to understand the internal strife we associate with life in Somalia.

What I’ll call “mainstream” terror in Somalia dates back to the late ‘70’s, when the PFLP (the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine) took hostage a Lufthansa jetliner. This first, seemingly isolated incident, occurred in the midst of social disorder and civil war; it was followed by almost two decades of confusion and chaos. In 1991, the usurper Siad Barre (a Marxist dictator who seized power in Somalia in 1969 and nationalized almost every aspect of the economy) was ousted by rebels in Mogadishu, and (quite literally) 27 warring factions (essentially, clans led by warlords) attempted to seize control of the country. The downfall of the Barre regime marked the demise of the last legitimate, internationally recognized Somali government. 1992 brought troops to Somalia as part of a United States-sponsored multinational force, but these efforts for the most part ended in chaos and death, and forced trade embargos against Somalia. The latter months of 1993 were marred by the infamous “Black Hawk Down” incident and the pivotal Battle of Mogadishu, and a troop “surge” into the Horn of Africa. Toward the end of 1993, the United States gained intelligence that made it suspect an Islamic terrorist by the name of Osama Bin Laden was supplying rebel forces with anti-aircraft weaponry. It was also discovered that a man named Muhammed Atef, one of Bin Laden’s best lieutenants, had along with six other Al Qaida operatives set up training camps to help Somali tribes resist UN peacekeeping efforts in the region. From the time the last US soldier left Somalia in 1994, to the formation of the Transitional Government in 2000, Somalia existed in a state of sociopolitical devolution. In early 2002, the warlord Hussein Adid warned then-US President George W. Bush that there were terrorists sympathetic to Al Qaida hiding in Somalia, and that they had succeeded in infiltrating various factions of Somali industry. The United States initiated operations to help catch these terrorists, and the UN became involved.

Fast forward to 2005. We see refugees fleeing starvation and disease, and a new vogue in piracy and hijacking. Between June 2005 and April 2006, pirates ravaged the waters off the coast of Somalia, taking down ship after ship carrying food and other relief items, and collecting millions in ransom. The Islamic Courts came into play in 2006, engaging in peace talks with the Transitional government and pushing for complete Islamic rule in the region. 2006 brought a dramatic increase in active Islamic militias, and the government and people quietly crumbled as Islam took over the everyday life of the average Somali citizen. The terror organization Al Shabaab contributed to the chaos by smuggling enormous shipments of weapons (from Egypt, Iran, and Syria) through Eritrea, and passing them on to rebel militias in Somalia. It was a year of highly ineffective symbolic gestures, compromises, and capitulations on the side of the Transitional government.

In early 2007, the United States began an assault on Al Qaida contingents in southern Somalia, and the eternally useless UN Security Council authorized a six-month African Union peacekeeping mission in Somalia—the carnage was now official. In the midst of social struggle, disease, and starvation, piracy flourished, born from both the most basic human need to survive, and the wish of the Islamists to gain singlehanded control over Somalia. While piracy was not limited to Islamists, many of the attacks on foreign vessels were power plays by insurgents. Keep in mind that the Islamists have now effectively seized control of the remnants of the Transitional government by playing to the hearts and minds of a beleaguered people. In the eyes of the insurgency, any outside effort to relieve the pain of the Somali people was seen as a grasp for control, and as such, gifts of food, medicine and supplies were violently intercepted. The pirates seized the goods—along with a ransom ensuring the return of the vessel—and distributed them amongst compliant citizens. Those who resisted were left to starve, or made into examples for others. In this way, the Islamists not only gained control of the people, but also ensured a steady stream of income via the ransoms they were rarely denied.

The past two years have been filled with more of the same. Extremist groups like Al Shabaab have violently taken control of increasingly large areas of the country; pirates continue to savage the coast, baiting the UN and further encouraging the devolution of a country that has known neither peace nor prosperity for almost 500 years. In response to the terrorists’ pledge that the violence will not end until all foreign troops have pulled out of Somalia, the Ethiopian government has recalled their (considerable) forces. In February, a moderate Islamist named Omar Abdirashid Ali Sharmarke was named Prime Minister of Somalia; and this past weekend, the Somali parliament (acting out of Kenya—it’s too dangerous in Mogadishu) voted unanimously to adopt Shariah Law in hopes that common ground between the government and the Islamists might stifle the insurgency. However, Al Shabaab has instituted its own version of Shariah Law, and will certainly continue to do everything in its power to seize complete control of the country. Meanwhile, the United States is taking the tiny nation of Eritrea to task over their continued support of Al Qaida in Somalia. (Eritrea, however, could not care less about what we have to say about their less-than-savory political friendships.)

I’ve been a student of the Somali question for a long time, and I’m going to be honest: I have no good answer to the question, “what comes next?” (I don’t feel too bad about that, considering no one has a good answer to that question.) What I do know is this: any action taken in Somalia, whether by the military, or by a pointless contingent of UN buffoons (since we’re being honest), must come only after the careful, deliberate consideration of the big picture. It’s pointless to talk about piracy without talking about famine and disease; similarly, it is impossible to focus on the egregious human rights violations in the region without considering what the Islamic insurgency has done to reject the help of benevolent nations. Focusing solely on terrorism, or human rights violations, or piracy, will lead us through a course of events from which very few will emerge alive.

Now, here’s the part that I wish President Obama could read, because it’s the point of the diary and the most significant thing surrounding the conflict in the Horn. Ready? Okay.

There is absolutely, positively, no way to reach a hand-holding, diplomatic solution in Somalia. If you do indeed decide to skip down this rabbit hole, Sir, you will find yourself in a Hell that is beyond your imagination. You will not be able to talk, joke, hand-shake, chest-bump, or finger-wag your way out of it. Why? Because there is no one to negotiate with. Somalia is a failed state. The government is impotent at best, operating out of a few buildings in the Kenyan capitol. The Arab League is certainly corrupt, and will offer no viable solution. The African Union is a dead stick, and would not even exist without the money and manpower of other international organizations. Somalia is surrounded by nations and peoples hostile to the West; Al Shabaab and Al Qaida have made it abundantly clear that peace is quite out of the question unless they’re the ones calling the shots. And most importantly: not one person alive in Somalia has known a year of true peace—ever. Can you imagine trying to convince an exhausted, starving Somali man that you can help, if only he will help you fight back the Islamists?

This is much, much bigger than, “taking a look at a peaceable solution”, “sending in aid as a first step”, or “considering our options in the region.” And that fact, I fear, is the blazing, flashing neon sign on the side of the road that the Obama administration will willfully ignore, if they do indeed decide to bestow the fruits of their infinite wisdom and experience on the Horn of Africa.

EDIT: UPDATE!

I just got a hold of this link to AEI (h/t to Pilgrim) that addresses a whole new angle to specifically the culture war between the West and the Horn. The whole thing is great, but there’s a real gem at the bottom of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s piece. She is originally from Somalia, and offers great insight into how people in Somalia view Americans, and Westerners in general:

What do al Qaeda operatives, Somali pirates, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s militia, Hugo Ch?vez’s rhetoric, and even the new Russian authoritarianism have in common? An analysis of their rhetoric quickly shows that they all see Americans and Westerners in general as cowardly…

Promoted by Erick.

Everybody’s got something to say about the direction of the “new” GOP. As conservatives, we’re being yanked to the left, to the right, and upside down on just about every issue you can think of. Some of us don’t like it; we feel like our identity as a party lies with the convictions we keep, and the conscience we consult when it comes to hot-button issues like abortion, immigration, or gay marriage. Other “conservatives” (before the jump, obviously) feel like progressivism is the wave of the future, and it’s time for everyone to huddle together beneath our new and improved “big tent” and wait with baited breath for some hopey change to leak through the folds.

The lovely Miss Meghan McCain is one such “conservative.” ::flails hands wildly with air quotes:: Check out her latest column:

Read More →

Because everybody fantasizes about how these conversations play out…

CARLA BRUNI SARKOZY: Michelle. Pet.
MICHELLE OBAMA: Hello, Carla. Isn’t the red carpet exciting?
CBS: ::yawn::
MO: Well… You’re looking very supermodeley today!
CBS: I know. You’re looking…noticeably more polished. Fabulous coat, really.
MO: Thank y—wait. What?
CBS: Oh. Darling. You know what.
MO: …the cardigans?
CBS: It’s just…well…to meet the Queen? A wee bit…cheeky, don’t you think?
MO: What? I thought I looked pretty.
CBS: For a tea party, I guess.
MO: We had tea!
CBS: Of course. Was that before or after you gifted the Queen of England with an iPod?
MO: You didn’t like that? We thought it was fun. And modern. Just like me!
CBS: Darling, no.
MO: No? Not…I don’t know…sort of whimsical? We uploaded showtunes, okay? That’s pure Americana!
CBS: Tut tut. No.
MO: But—
CBS: No. Smile for the cameras, darling.

So…Europe is all over this Michelle Obama person.

In between bites of Special K this morning, I was staring at an old issue of Vogue trying to figure out how in the world this woman has been successfully spun into some sort of A-list celebrity. Sure, she’s the FLOTUS, which means she sits one notch below POTUS and two notches below TOTUS (snark), but still…I just can’t comprehend. She’s nice-looking (or so they say), but she’s no Carla Bruni; she can hold her own in front of a crowd, but she’s no Barack Obama; she gives off all the appearance of a happy momma, but she’s no Angelina Jolie. I thought about it long and hard, and after breakfast I scratched out a few reasons why I think the world is falling in sloppy, disgusting love with Michelle Obama.

She’s not Cindy McCain
Climb on into my way-back machine and zap yourself back to the very, very beginning of Obamania. Remember how Cindy McCain drew all sorts of ire regarding her designer suits and fabulous shoes and highlights and Botox? Yes? Now, flip your brain over and hark back to how cool and awesome and so freaking special everyone thought Michelle Obama was for wearing “reasonably-priced” ensembles from (what I can only assume was) the brokedown soccer mom section of J Crew. What happened was that Cindy McCain was vilified as the evil white lady whose shoes were made with the sweat and despair of little Vietnamese slave children, and Michelle Obama was lauded as a woman of the people; advocate of the huddled masses, dressed in bargain items from JC Penney like common riff raff! Never mind that the Jimmy Choo pumps she wore on Inauguration Day easily cost around $800 dollars…

Her clothes are (sometimes) fierce
I have a dirty secret. I appreciate—nay, am having a sordid love affair with—fashion. Even the those weird, sort of questionably artsy fashion statements with big bows and over the top ruching and little bejeweled purses shaped like animals. I got incredibly excited when I found out Jason Wu was designing the inaugural ball gown. Anyway, Michelle Obama embraces classic and emerging fashion trends, and America loves her for it—
even when it doesn’t work out so well . I have to admit (and this is hard for me, because I am most decidedly not the FLOTUS’s biggest fan) that she looked like a rock star at the Inauguration; and, occasionally, I stand up and cheer for her liberation from this:

shudder

…which I think we can all agree is absolutely offensive. Anyway, fashion is fun, and we need a little fun in our lives, right? I know I do.

She likes to insult America

And that, my RedState minions, is the number one reason why people all over the world are drooling into their martini glasses over Michelle Obama. Yes, it happened a long time ago; and yes, those completely accidental ::snort:: faux pas were explained away by lots of hot air blown on the subject of race relations and slavery and conservative fascism and God knows what else. But you know what? I didn’t buy it then, and I don’t buy it now. As of late, Barack Obama has been prancing around the globe, ranting and storming to anyone who will listen about American arrogance and imperialism and any other disrespectful, insulting thing he could think of. Sane people were embarrassed, saddened, and justly angered by this chicanery; his flocks of liberal sheeple, however, were gratefully humbled by what their dear leader had to say, because after a proper period of reflection and thought, they would be able to stand up with severe looks on their faces and talk about how utterly disgusting the behavior of the American people has been, and how we would do well to take a lesson from those who choose to live in peace and harmony with the birds and trees and terrorists and oppressive Socialist bureaucracies. Same thing happened with Michelle Obama; her supposed “humble nature”, coupled with her honesty and desire to do some good in this crazy, mixed-up world (oh, SNARK), endeared her to the hearts of those who don’t have enough common sense to realize they’re being duped.

I have a great appreciation for pretty things. Michelle Obama has a lot of pretty things going for her: she has a handsome husband, beautiful children, and a wardrobe that would make me fall to my knees and weep if I ever saw it displayed in all its glory. However, I am seeing something very ugly in this woman so many are proud to call our First Lady. I think we need to stay aware of what she says when she opens her mouth, because people will listen to and accept her words for the same reasons that they listen to and accept the crap that flows out of the mouths of Susan Sarandon, Jessica Alba, and::insert your own celebutician here::, with little thought to the merit of what’s actually being said.

She’s been good since the inauguration, I’ll give her that much. But I do not have faith in any politician’s ability to keep its mouth shut forever (yes, I consider her a politician.); nor do I have faith in the American sheeple (not to be confused with the American people) to consider her words with discernment—especially when they’re being dazzled by her husband’s smile, and a couture gown worth more than your last five car payments combined.

Back when Caleb posted his diary A Time For Choosing I was asked in the thread to post a diary with my thoughts and suggestions concerning spreading the conservative moment via Facebook. So…here it is. I’m not going to give step-by-step instructions on how to physically set up things like Groups or Events, because Facebook provides an excellent “Help” section for that sort of thing. Rather, this will be a run down of things that I have done personally to get not only my work out there, but to help improve and make more accessible the conservative “brand”.

Facebook in General

Facebook started out as a social networking tool for college students, and has since branched out to include basically anyone with a functioning e-mail address. You must sign up to use the site with a valid e-mail address, but other that that, there are no restrictions to who can create a profile. This means exactly what you think it means—Facebook is a powerful tool for both the crazy and the sane. As such, you should be careful with privacy, and who you allow to see your stuff. Facebook has great privacy settings, and you should pay strict attention to your personal settings. I ended up with a lot of hate mail (and a few hysterical death threats) during the election season because I forgot to tweak the settings on who could see my profile. Once I took care of that, the hate mail stopped, telling me that the privacy settings do work if you use them right.

Unlike RedState, Facebook puts no limits on profanity or disrespectful yammering. The only thing they take action against is nudity, “profane or obscene material” (I don’t know what that means, either), and content that posts a legitimate, bodily threat to another person. As such, expect the occasional idiot to call you a fascist, ignorant slut. Just do what I do and consider it a compliment.

Sharing Notes and Links

When I started writing, I mainly used Facebook Notes to get my work out there. The Notes application works a lot like a blog. You can type whatever you want, publish your work to your profile, and if you wish, upload accompanying photos. You have the ability to create privacy settings for each individual note, and “tag” other Facebook users you would particularly like to see your Note. Each new Note has its own comment thread, open to anyone you have allowed to see your note.

Similarly, you can share stories etc. from the web via the Links application. This works similarly to the Notes application: it allows you to post a link and provide a short explanation/commentary. The application will post a corresponding picture (from the linked website) and a snippet of the content, and create a thread for comments. This is great for those moments of rage/disbelief/ROTFL when you really don’t have enough brainpower for a full diary.

I was surprised at the response I got to my notes; I discovered that a lot of my friends were more conservative than I believed them to be, and the notes provided a great platform for general debate and exchange of ideas. I’ve gotten a lot of people to read things on RedState (and not just my diary) because of things I’ve posted in notes and links.

Planning an Event

This is honestly the best thing ever. Facebook provides an application that allows you to provide the details for an event (birthday party, Tea Party, anything you want) and “invite” other Facebook users to that event. The application helps you keep track of people who have RSVP’d, provides a message board, and allows for updates.

Laugh all you want, but this really works. As I said in my comment on the aforementioned diary, I have seen this type of “invitation” draw hundreds of people to an event. It’s simple, but effective. Just now in a quick perusal, I found information about Tea Parties, all-out protests, birthday parties, bar crawls, and sorority functions. The key to creating an effective Event is offering solid information (what? when? where?) and composing a solid description of the purpose of the event.

Groups

People gathering together with a common purpose. Want Obama to fail? Make a group! Like puppies? Make a group! Hate the Jews? Make EIGHT MILLION groups! (Doubt it? Take a peek someday.) When you make or join a group, you have the power to post links, photos, and other information, and participate on the message board. They’re not very useful for purposes outside of teh interwebs, but they can allow you to amass a core group of people who share your point of view, and will help you promote your work/Notes/Events/etc. by spreading the word to their like-minded friends. (By the way, RedState has a Facebook Group, and you should join it. It’s what all the cool kids are doing.)

That’s about it. The success or failure of any venture via Facebook rests in the execution, and ultimately, the people behind it. Consider this an open thread for any comments/questions/suggestions regarding what I’ve written, or any ideas you might have about improving the Conservative media presence.

Cheers!

P.S. A few more nuggets of knowledge for the particularly enthusiastic:

How To Develop a Facebook Page That Will Attract Millions of Fans

Facebook Marketing and Promotion Tags

Johnny gazed out the window and over the front lawn, then up and down the quiet street; nothing stirred. Already, steam was rising from the blacktop, signaling the beginning of a hot, sunny August day.

Perfect.

Johnny went through the side door of his house, and into the garage. The spoils of three weeks of odd jobs and scavenging lay before him on the floor: a few quality pieces of lumber, a box of discarded nails (unbent by dint of much elbow grease) and a hammer, a level (borrowed from his father), and a set of tempera paints and brushes were piled neatly into the farthest corner of the garage, just waiting for him to begin his project.

And so he began.

~~~

Exactly two and three-quarters hours later, after much hard work and an unfortunate incident involving the hammer and his left thumb, Johnny surveyed his work. The stand, although small, was sturdy and straight, and the brightly-painted sign was easily visible from the road. Satisfied, he jogged into the house, opened the refrigerator, and extracted the gallon jugs of lemonade he had prepared the night before. After filling a small cooler with ice, he grabbed a sleeve of red SOLO cups and an old shoebox and started bringing his supplies out to the stand, a gleam of childish entrepreneurial spirit in his eyes.

An hour after Johnny opened up his lemonade stand for business, he had made exactly $10.50; at $0.75 per cup, that meant that Johnny had sold 14 glasses of delicious lemonade to willing customers. Old Mr. Jones from down the street had come to the stand three times, commenting on how impressed he was with Johnny’s hard work and ambition, especially for a boy just ten years old. The bigger boys from the next block over came by and purchased a whole jug of lemonade, forcing Johnny to shut down for a whole 15 minutes to make more.

Overall, Johnny was satisfied with his little stand. He knew the proceeds from his little venture wouldn’t be in the millions of dollars, but he hoped to help make a dent in the amount it would cost to go to soccer camp next year. Johnny realized his parents would never be able to foot the whole bill, but they’d be able to help, if only he could make just $100 dollars in the next year. Not being able to join his friends at camp this summer had been hard, but it had inspired him to earn his way for next summer.

The stand was important.

~~~

The sleek black Lexus crept through the neighborhood, looking as out of place as its driver felt. Mr. McGrubber had not asked for this assignment, and resented the necessity of his presence in this town, on this podunk little street.

What’s done is done, he thought to himself as he slowed in front of a small, well-kept house. Might as well get it the hell over with.

He got out of the car and surveyed his objective: a small, homemade lemonade stand. This would be easy.

~~~

Johnny looked up as the expensive-looking car slowed to a stop, and watched as a pudgy, exasperated-looking man in a dark suit and sunglasses climbed out of the drivers’ seat, grabbed a large attaché case from the floor, and walked purposefully up to the stand.

Jackpot, thought Johnny with a smile. Rich guy.

“Good morning, sir! Fresh, cold lemonade here, only seventy-five cents!”

“Seventy-five cents, eh?” replied McGrubber, trying to hide a sneer. “What’s your name, kid?” As if I care, he said to himself.

“Johnny, sir. How many lemonades would you like?”

Instead of ordering lemonade, however, the man smiled down at Johnny and began to ask questions about the stand. How long had the stand been in existence? Was Johnny the sole employee? What was the purpose of the stand? How many customers had Johnny averaged since opening the stand? Johnny felt confused. How was a kid supposed to know these things? He didn’t even know how to figure out averages; in fact, he was so nervous he wasn’t quite sure if he even knew what an average was. He looked around to see if his mother was noticing what was going on, but the window shades were drawn against the heat of the day. When he turned back around, he bristled as he discovered the pudgy man inspecting the contents of the makeshift cash box, which Johnny had fashioned from the old shoebox.

“Um, mister? Is there anything else…I mean…do you want something?”

McGrubber straightened, and frowned down at the boy.

“It’s not about what I want, Johnny. It’s what you’re able to do for me. You watch the news, kid?”

Johnny shook his head, and again looked nervously toward the house; he had a bad feeling about this guy. He wanted to clutch the cashbox to his chest and run away, but he remained frozen, one hand on the jug of lemonade he had been preparing to pour.

“Well, kid, if you knew anything at all you’d know the country is in a mess. The economy—that means businesses, kid—is in a real mess. There isn’t enough money to cover the government’s bills, so the people I work for—very important people, son—have been working night and day to figure out a way to cover those bills. That’s where you come in, see? It’s so simple, the perfect solution! See, this stand—nice stand, by the way—you’re probably raising money for, what? A new bike?”

McGrubber laughed, but Johnny felt like crying. He was scared. He didn’t like this man, or the very important people he worked for. He wanted him to go away. Still, he had been taught to respect his elders, so he replied in a shaky voice,

“S-soccer camp, sir?” He hadn’t meant it to sound like a question.

“Soccer camp! A worthy venture!” McGrubber chortled as he prepared to move in for the kill. “Well, in better times, anyway. See kid, what’s happened is that the people I work for—very smart, important people, obviously—did a study—that’s science, you know—and figured out that our budget crisis—that means money—would be solved if we got a little help from the little guys. That means you, Johnny!!!” McGrubber clapped his hands together, snatched up the cashbox before Johnny had a chance to react, and continued with gusto. “You see, kid, with the help of ordinary, hardworking citizens like yourself, we can help save the government! Think of it! Being a part of that, seems a lot more important than soccer camp, eh, kid?”

A tear rolled down Johnny’s cheek as he lunged at McGrubber, making a frantic attempt at retrieving his cashbox.

“Oh ho! Not so fast, kid. This is a great opportunity for you to help the big guys—like me, kid—turn this country around! Anyone can go to soccer camp, but you—you Johnny—can help make history! What could possibly be more important than doing your part for the government? All I need is a little, say, contribution, from you—a worthy entrepreneur!”

Johnny glared up at McGrubber and finally found his voice. “I don’t think so sir. I think that you’re trying to steal from me. If you want money, why don’t you build a lemonade stand and make it yourself? Now I’m getting my mother, so just put down my money and go away!”

“Johnny my boy! Your mother would be proud of you for contributing to this project—it’s very important, a lot of thought has gone into this, and besides, it’s not like important people like myself have time for lemonade stands, see?—and she certainly wouldn’t be happy to know that her son didn’t do all he could to serve his country!”

He backed away as he spoke, slowly slipping the cashbox into his attaché case.

“Now you keep on working hard, son, and maybe someday, when this country is back on its feet, you’ll be able to go to that camp! Goodbye, Johnny!”

McGrubber jogged to his car, got inside, and sped off, dialing on an expensive PDA as he went.

~~~

Johnny was halfway to the phone, vowing to call the cops and catch the scumbag, when he realized that he didn’t even know the pudgy man’s name. He sat down on the stoop and stared at his lemonade stand for a very long time.
~~~

The voice on the other end of the line was calm, cool, and oozed charisma and power.

“Has it been taken care of?”

“Of course, sir! Piece of cake…just one kid this time. No problem whatsoever.”

“Good work, McGrubber. I have one more for you. I’ll text you the location. Get this one taken care of and you could be looking at a promotion.

“Consider it done, sir!”

There was a soft click as the call ended, and McGrubber checked his messages for the next objective.

~~~

A sleek black Lexus pulled into the parking lot of a church, and came to a stop outside of a door marked “FELLOWSHIP HALL”. The driver exited the car, and his mouth watered at the smell of baking coming from the kitchen inside the hall.

He paused at the door to the fellowship hall, and grinned.

Just a few little old ladies running a church bake sale…this should be easy.

So that was my first foray into the world of dreamcrushing prose. If you’re wondering where in the world I got the sick idea to have a bureaucrat knock over a kid’s lemonade stand, take a gander at this:

Miami-Dade School District Puts Off Raids on School Group Coffers

The first time I saw that, I was pretty sure I had accidentally clicked on a link to “The Onion”. Alas, this is real, but just as ridiculous. Long story short, the Miami-Dade school district has dug itself into such a deep, dark hole that they tried dipping their paws into the kitties of extracurricular school clubs, marching bands, and school libraries to dig themselves out again.

No, really! I mean, come on, that librarian would probably just buy subversive, dangerous books like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Brave New World, right? Yes, it’s better this way.

I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to be facepalming my way through life–or at least the next four years. I know that these bureaucrats are just parroting the ideals and sensibilities of a corrupt Administration. That part, the accepting/knowing/facepalming part, is the easy part. The hard part is watching this nonsensical crap play out in real time–especially when the victims are high school bandos who just want to raise money to keep their performances going.

The actual conception and short-lived inception of this policy isn’t really what bothers me. What bothers me is what I can see happening about four or five months from now. School Superintendent Alberto Carvalho repealed his master plan after parents and students alike staged protests–good for him, but here comes the bureaucratic shuffle–but then came out with this little gem of an idea:

Carvalho told principals in an e-mail Friday morning that they can keep their money until the end of the academic year, when district officials will reconsider the plan. Schools that have already paid will get a refund.

Ah yes, Mr. Carvalho. I see what you did there. Here’s what’s happened. Carvalho realized that the lynch mob was closing in, so he pulled an Obama (it’s a verb now) and said “HAHAHA just kidding, guys! Nothing to see here, folks!!!! Move along, now.” Then he tabled the plan until the end of the school year when, conveniently, parents and students alike are compelled to be less involved in the workings of the school district. No students to band together and complain every day at school, no parents to pick up the torch at sporting events or performances…which means a more disorganized lynch mob for Carvalho and his band of miscreants to deal with.

They’re closing in on all sides. They want to control our guns, our health care, our wounded veterans, and our speech. We knew that. But as it turns out, they also want to control how much money can be spent on new library books, or marching band uniforms, or new chess boards. We’ve seen bailouts before, but never at the expense of a hard-working freshman trumpet player, whose only crime was selling a few brownies at a school bake sale.

So I was cruising Fark today (yes, FARK, I like it so get over it) and I found yet another news medium taking a “BOLD, FRESH LOOK(!)” at the War on Terror:

Neat, right? Egad. NEXT.

Alas, I’m not the kind of girl who can resist such sweet, dirty temptation. I put on my writing pants (horrid grey sweatpants with writers-block and frustration-induced holes all over), poured a glass of chocolate milk, and clicked my way to the actual article:

Learning to Live with Radical Islam

I nearly made it through without finding something to complain about. I found a way to disregard the bizarre caricatures of “good” Muslims and the simpering comments about our military, and the “but…but…BUSH” kvetching—it was nothing I hadn’t anticipated, so I wasn’t about to get cosmic over a left-leaning snark or two.

Then, roundabout the middle of the third page, the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand up. I’ve learned to trust those hairs; they’ve saved me countless times, including the time they compelled me to literally run down a cop car to get away from a man who made me irrationally terrified. (Later, I found out he had brutally attacked a few other girls on Purdue’s campus, including my future roommate. I have faith in the hairs.) My own emphasis:

Beyond Afghanistan, too, it is crucial that we adopt a more sophisticated strategy toward radical Islam. This should come naturally to President Obama, who spoke often on the campaign trail of the need for just such a differentiated approach toward Muslim countries. Even the Washington Institute, a think tank often associated with conservatives, appears onboard. It is issuing a report this week that recommends, among other points, that the United States use more “nuanced, noncombative rhetoric” that avoids sweeping declarations like “war on terror,” “global insurgency,” even “the Muslim world.”

That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. We’re so drunk on politically correct koolaid that we can’t even use the word “terror” anymore.

More warm fuzzies:

We should mount a spirited defense of our views and values. We should pursue aggressively policies that will make these values succeed. Such efforts are often difficult and take time—rebuilding state structures, providing secular education, reducing corruption—but we should help societies making these efforts.

Maybe their politicians (now with less corruption!!!) will pay their taxes? I’m not sure. Let’s hold hands anyway, and channel some “spirited defense!”

The straw that ripped an extra big hole in my writing pants:

We can better pursue our values if we recognize the local and cultural context, and appreciate that people want to find their own balance between freedom and order, liberty and license.

My translation? “We can better pursue our values if we put them in the context of those of rapists and murderers (OHMIGOD DID SHE CALL ALL MUSLIMS RAPISTS??? No, I did not), and appreciate that these people will find their own balance between reason and insanity.”

Mr. Zakaria brought his article to a close by assuring us that the comforting and accommodating nature of our own “world view” would eventually put this whole “Islamist” fad to bed for good, right alongside parachute pants and fishnet stockings. Thanks, Z, I feel better knowing that the terrorists will give up once they understand that we’re not really interested, thankyouverymuch.

(Mmm hmm… My poor writing pants; I’m teetering on the cusp of a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction.)

I’d use the word “sneaky” to describe the vibes that radiate from this article. It has an air of legitimacy to it, coming largely from the calm presentation of information leading to a seemingly rational conclusion. Only when you pay attention to the words on the page (don’t just hear…listen) do you realize that you’re once again being spirited away down the primrose path.

In a way, it reminds me of how Obama operates.

This whole mess is nothing new to those of us who haven’t rocketed ourselves into orbit alongside President Obama and his court of jesters, but it can serve as a reminder to what we’re all about, and why we keep fighting. The liberal philosophy regarding the War on TERROR (terror terror terror terror terror TERROR) looks a lot like my writing pants: tired, dirty, and full of holes.

We know better than to believe this garbage. I just hope it doesn’t take another tragedy to remind the rest of the American people that they, too, know better than to hold hands with the enemy and hope that things work themselves out.

I like a lot of…off-color things.

I’ve never missed an episode of Nip/Tuck, Grey’s Anatomy, or Desperate Housewives. I listen to music by Lil’ Wayne and Katy Perry (I do NOT boycott cherry Chapstick), and I think it’s Hugh Hefner’s right to live in a house with trampy little 18 year old girls if he wants to. Also, I really, really liked Rent.

Ah, Rent. It really is good–artistically speaking. (You should see it if you haven’t–even if you’ve been told it’s some awful gay romp through a cocaine factory with strippers frolicking in the background. I promise, everybody does NOT have AIDS.) Good, but controversial; it’s really got the whole “let’s scare conservative America” trifecta in play: impoverished homosexuals living on sweet sweet love, drug addicted strippers living on sweet sweet smack, and impoverished Bohemians protesting corporate expansion. It’s a very grown-up story, definitely not appropriate for a high school kids.

Ah, high school kids and Rent.

Behold, the point of the diary.

I just don’t know about this. Even if every little “objectionable” comment, word, lyric, nuance and innuendo was removed from the “clean” version of Rent, I still don’t think I could justify allowing a bunch of 16 year old kids to perform it for their families. (Yes, I’m thinking of the children. GASP!)

Well, the principal of Corona del Mar High School didn’t think she could justify it either, and put the skids to the whole production.

Uh oh.

Enter the enraged gay community.

Even dis LOLcat feelz ur righteous indignashun!

I took the liberty of following the link to Queerty (mostly so you wouldn’t have to), and found the “anonymously published letter” (COWARD!) that was circulated:

Mrs. Asrani (the principal) is firmly against the portrayal of
homosexual characters in RENT, despite the fact that all displays of
affection have already been edited out of our script. Of course, a gay
couple kissing on stage should not be inherently more offensive than a
straight couple kissing, but that’s beside the point (sort of). The
fact that the administration would not even allow a positive PORTRAYAL
of these gay characters, whose romantic tendencies have already been
neutered in Musical Theater International’s “RENT: School Edition”, is
appalling.

(snip)

If you are at all disturbed, offended, or shocked by what our
administration has communicated to us, I urge you not to dismiss what
has just happened. Our administration has sent out a very clear
message that they think homosexuality is wrong and its portrayal
onstage is harmful or objectionable in some way. Instead of focusing
on the life-affirming, empowering message of RENT, they approached the
work with narrow-mindededness and rejected it BEFORE THEY EVEN READ
THE SCRIPT.

(snip)

Being the brave little RedStater I am, I went through

this foul website

and clicked on every reference to this story. And guess what I found!? Nothing–NOTHING–even remotely coming close to a fair and balanced look at this situation. Not on this website (which couldn’t be expected) or on any other for that matter. All I found was a one-sided blitzkrieg at a school administrator who didn’t feel like sex, drugs, and AIDS were elements of appropriate entertainment for the underage crowd. (Let’s face it…how in the HELL heck do you “sterilize” a production of Rent?)

This is why we can’t have nice things.

It’s this attitude, this angry, finger-pointing attitude, that makes it hard–nay, impossible–for America to “move forward” or “embrace change” or “love thy neighbor” or whatever else has been slopped at us the past year or so. This is why the shiny new

Attorney General

of the United States can get away with calling me a racist coward. According to Holder,

“If we’re going to ever make progress, we’re going to have to have the guts, we have to have the determination, to be honest with each other. It also means we have to be able to accept criticism where that is justified.”

If you ask me, that little soundbite applies to a lot more than just race. And if he wants honesty, I’ll give him honesty. Honestly, I think all the race-baiters and religion-baiters and sexual orientation-baiters are full of malarkey. I think the whole scandal surrounding this high school drama club is nothing but a smoke screen for agenda-pushing fools who are so out of touch with America that they have to resort to name-calling and screaming about discrimination to get people to turn their heads.

Until we stop allowing these people to hijack the collective sensibilities of the American people, nothing is going to change; it will only get worse. Day after day, I have people telling me I should feel bad about being white, or straight, or from the (bitter, bitter) Midwest. I for one am not going to sit around and let Eric Holder tell me that I need to accept criticism from people who are trying to destroy me. I respectfully refuse.

Honestly, I don’t know how to control this epidemic. I’m not one to march in front of courthouses, or scream and wave signs at people driving past. It’s just not who I am; I don’t feel a burning need to scare or intimidate people into submission. (Though, perhaps I could take lessons on this from President Obama…oh, burn.) I realize that it is going to get harder and harder to fight the good fight in this country, especially if the Government (yes, with a capital G) starts regulating what I can say, to whom, and where.

All I know is that we have to keep going, because sooner or later people are going to wake up and realize they have willingly thrown away hundreds of years of American freedom, history, and idealism. What’s happening today isn’t some sort of nightmare, or political joke–it’s real, and it’s being written into law as we speak. It’s time to stand up.

No other road.
No other way.
No day but today.

A fun little tidbit .

From the article:

“Our conclusion is that the gap between conservative and progressive talk radio is the result of multiple structural problems in the U.S. regulatory system,” the report reads, “particularly the complete breakdown of the public trustee concept of broadcast, the elimination of clear public interest requirements for broadcasting, and the relaxation of ownership rules including the requirement of local participation in management.”…………..
……..”The report then demonstrates how radio stations owned locally, or operated by female and minority owners, are statistically more likely to carry liberal political talk shows. Therefore, the report concludes, the answer to getting equal time for “progressives” lies in mandating “localism” and “diversity” without ever needing to mention the “Fairness Doctrine.”

Hmmm…of course,the utter failure of left-wing talk radio couldn’t be chalked up to the fact that nobody wants to hear liberal America spew venom at hunters, marksmen, Christians, and Sarah Palin.

Now, here’s where it gets good.

From the technology agenda page of www.whitehouse.gov:

“Encourage diversity in the ownership of broadcast media, promote the development of new media outlets for expression of diverse viewpoints, and clarify the public interest obligations of broadcasters who occupy the nation’s spectrum.”

So….blame “the system”, give the federal government a mandate to come in and fix “the system”, and while you’re at it, make sure that public broadcasting conforms to the Government’s idea of “public interest.” You know, just to be safe.

Oh, BHO, you are so very, very sneaky!

I almost admire you.

Boyish Charm can only go so far.

At first, I wasn’t quite sure why this article twisted my panties into a knot.

I knew it wasn’t because of the whole “the Oval Office is a RAINFOREST, lolz!” thing; I expected as much, and besides, Obama’s already been given a patented RedState thrashing over it. Then I thought it might have been the business about Gibbs getting caught with his feet up. I mean, come on: this guy needs to spend every spare minute getting himself psyched for the next press de-briefing (HAW HAW), not playing Snood and listening to Miley Cyrus on Pandora. But no, I expected this as well. I mean, have you watched any of the press conferences? He’s obviously not spending his days thinking about nuclear war.

So I went through the whole article again, paragraph by paragraph, but nothing really jumped out at me. I mean, sure, I could read into it enough to where I might think that Obama is taking a pot shot at the Bush Administration, with his cavalier attitude regarding schedules and dress codes; but alas, that was not the source of the twisting.

Then, I saw it. The one sentence in a 2 page Obama lovefest that made me want to break dishes. Big, bold letters, right at the top: Photos of jacketless Obama at White House may signal subtle culture shift.

Subtle. Cultural. Shift. So subtle, we barely noticed as it flew by.

Something inside me kind of snapped when I saw that, and not because I feel a diatribe on proper work attire percolating. (I’ll do it if you want me to.) It’s because, at the tender age of 23, I am tired of cultural changes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for progress; I hope that someday I am fortunate enough to be able to take advantage of all the technology and “progress” that surrounds me. “Progress,” to me, is absolutely mind-blowing. No, I am tired of cultural changes that bastardize my friendships, my professional relationships, and my way of life.

You know you love this

I feel old tonight; like the old lady at church who thumps her cane on the ground and proclaims, “Back in MY day, we walked uphill to school both ways, 20 miles, in the snow, in CORSETS, and we were JUST FINE. Eat your peas.” For one whole page, I’ve been fighting the urge to throw a Fall Out Boy CD into the stereo and just go completely Emo on everyone—but I won’t because I value your sanity as much as my own. I’m just seeing more and more that these “subtle cultural shifts” are shifting our world farther and farther down the garbage chute. It’s not the fact that Obama keeps his thermostat set to “jungle,” or that he allows Dockers in the Oval Office—it’s the overall cavalier attitude surrounding the single most important job in galactic history.

There is no incentive to take anything seriously anymore. I feel like I’ve been raped by “hope” and “change” and “progress” and “moving forward,” and by a growing, collective, culturally careless attitude about EVERYTHING. This country was ravaged by the Coming of The One; I know plenty of people who are still enjoying that post Obamasm cigarette, and talking about the wonders of the Stimulus package and the “absolute importance” of Timothy Geithner. Meanwhile, back here in reality, I’m skimming the headlines and find this gem:

Jonesboro High Dance Team Disbanded After Racy Routine.

(Watch the video…if you dare!)

Or here’s one, a little more subtle but just as disgusting:

Is Jessica Simpson New Poster Girl for Weight-ism?.

(Courtesy of that bastion of integrity, CBS News.)

Or, how about PETA’s banned Super Bowl ad? (NSFW…seriously)

Mmkay, so PETA’s ad was a ploy for publicity. I’ll give you that one. Nobody actually does that to innocent asparagus. But the important thing is, all three examples point back to “subtle cultural shifts” that gathered speed, grew in size, and lived to roll down the mountain and flatten the village below.

Now I’ll get back to Obama and his descent into potential Presidential shirtlessness. I don’t think people respond as well to a devil-may-care attitude as they do to an authoritative, take-no-prisoners attitude. Boyish charm and roguish good looks are a double-edged sword; my favorite mental image of Obama (yes, I have one, don’t judge me) is one from the early campaign, where he’s just sort of wandering around a rally talking to people, shirt sleeves rolled up, not a care in the world. He just looked so chill. I almost liked him. But as I thought about the culture we live in, coupled with the threats we face both domestically and internationally, I couldn’t help but wonder: if I knew that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was watching my every move, planning the best way to attack me, would I wander around in my underwear, or would I put on a power suit and my best ass-stomping pumps?

You know the answer; but I don’t think Obama does.

For once, MSNBC is right: this itty bitty, teensie weensie little piece of White House drama does resemble a “subtle cultural shift.” However, the difference between this shift and the cultural shift that is currently resulting in a pop star’s humiliation is clear. Jessica Simpson can hop on an elliptical machine and undo the damage in about 6 weeks, and nobody will remember how unflattering those jeans were (I’m sorry, but good heavens.) It won’t be as easy to unravel what Barack Obama has done. He has made his first impressions, and those impressions are going to dictate how the rest of the world views not only Barack Obama the Man, but Barack Obama the President, the Diplomat, and the Commander in Chief of the most fearsome military in the world.

I, for one, am not comfortable with any “cultural shift” that makes my #1 protector look anything less than formidable. I am confident my panties will remain firmly knotted until Barack Obama has proven to me and to the world, that he doesn’t need a jacket and tie to maintain his reputation as Leader of the Free World.

BEHOLD! The antidote to those pesky pre-Inaugural jitters/cold feet/night terrors has arrived!

Feast your boredom on the Barack Obama Inauguration Speech Generator!!!

http://www.atom.com/spotlights/inauguration_speech_generator/

Don’t pretend you’re too good for this.

Here’s mine:

My fellow Americans, today is a scintillating day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “pixie dust”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually prance.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces nefarious and discombobulated challenges like never before. Our economy is positively spiffing. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for terrorists. Our healthcare system is artful. If your shiny metal rear is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a bloodsucking lawyer. And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a CHANGE HOPE. But sallying forth together we can right this ship, and set a course for Candy Mountain (!).

Finally, I must thank my auspicious family, my saucy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Libertarians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of lurking the American people. Without your felicitous efforts, none of this would have been possible.

If it weren’t for internet schlop, I’d never make it through the day.
And yes, I realize you’ve all probably seen this by now…but that doesn’t make it any less fun!

Cookies for the best speech. YES YOU CAN!!! YES YOU CAN!!!

~A

PLEASE, Mr. Obama, THINK OF THE KITTENS.

Strike 1: Linking to ANYTHING from CBS News: http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/01/09/world/worldwatch/entry4709170.shtml

Strike 2: Linking to a CBS News article that links to an article from The Guardian.

Mulligan: Tying those links to Battlestar Galactica, country music.

Everyone knows The Guardian is kind of a rag. If I hadn’t cross-referenced this article through the UK’s Times, our Times, and various links on Fark , I’d still be writing a full post on the benefits of having Clint Eastwood step in as POTUS (which would have been awesome, but there are more pressing matters.)

It seems as though about 75% of the world has flipped on the Israeli-Gaza conflict. At first, there was a lot of righteous indignation, flag-waving, and support for Israel. Now, two weeks and a few photos of dead Palestinians later, the international community has gone completely premenstrual. We’ve got the loyal Kos readers using the “K” word (I thought they were all rainbows and free love?), Facebook groups called “I SUPPORT PALESTINE AGAINST THE TERRORISM OF ISREAL” (WITH CAPS LOCK AND MISSPELLINGS TO CONVEY OUR RAGE!!! Idiots), and the UN threatening ISREAL with sanctions for war crimes.

I quit the world.

The day my president sits down for tea with Islamic terrorists is the day I move to a houseboat in the middle of a lake in Switzerland (don’t worry, RedStaters, I’ll fly an American flag Assuming what’s in this article has a modicum of truth attached to it, I feel like it might be a good time to finish that bunker I started on election night.

How is it that America has become a nation of complete weenies? When did that happen? And how do we stop it?

Since when to American presidents cavort with the likes of Hamas? Since when do American presidents even entertain the idea of cavorting with the likes of Hamas?

Somewhere along the line, we lost our chutzpah.

Somewhere along the line, we lost the will to tell the rest of the world to frack off. (This phenomenon probably coincided with the uproar over the use of the non-word “frack” on Battlestar Galactica.)

Somewhere along the line, we started worrying about the self-esteem of international terrorists, and listening quietly to the opinions of Iranian dictators. We lost our sense of God and Country, and let our fear of being unpopular overcome our fear of being blown up.

It’s time to man up, America. Until January 20, Obama gets a free pass—he can blow off questions and flip flop and play Wii Bowling with his kids and show off his sculpted chest and flash boyish grins all he wants until he gets inaugurated. Until Inauguration Day, I will continue to ignore his lack of opinion on EVERYTHING not related to our tanking economy. Considering the guy is probably still in a state of shock over winning the election, I don’t think my position on this is completely out of line. For Obama, on January 20, t=0.

But not for us.

For all of us who will NOT be taking some sort of oath of office on January 20, now is the time for setting fire to the status quo. I’m tired of clean-looking men in expensive suits drafting laws to swaddle me in layers of bubble wrap and wipe my mind clean of “dangerous” conservative idealism. I don’t think there aren’t enough scoundrels in our lives. Sleazebags, sure—we’ve got battalions of sleazebags running around the place—but what we need is a maverick.

I call for an end to the mollycoddling, pantywaisted, can’t-hack-it brand of politics. It’s time to hark back to the days of post-9/11 patriotic fervor, when we were all tearing up at Toby Keith concerts, and put our boots in the hind ends of terrorists. If we don’t do something soon, we’re in danger of letting Nicolas Sarkozy become the next legitimate badass (he’s dashing, he’s exotic, and his wife was a supermodel…you do the math.)

On January 20, it will be Barack Obama’s job to ensure the security of the free world…and it will our job to make sure he never gets away with simply voting “present.”

We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody’s become used to saying, “Well, how do we handle it psychologically?” In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you’d be left alone from then on.
~Clint Eastwood, a legitimate American badass

Since it’s been a while, and since I’ve been receiving complaints about the conspicuous lack of new posts on my diary, I thought I’d take a break from arming my outdoor Nativity scene (I’ve just replaced the second Wise Man’s frankincense with a hand grenade) to do a little storytelling.

This weekend, I witnessed the unthinkable. Something so reprehensible, so appalling, that my character shall remain forever sullied by its message.

This weekend, I witnessed…an honest to God Christmas play: “A Christmas Carol,” as presented by a public high school drama club.

THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!

Aspiring pundit and incendiary columnist that I am, I went in to this experience with more than just visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. Not surprising, considering the amount of ideological word vomit flowing from such glowing havens of democracy as Olympia, Washington, as of late. Moreover, I have been given visions into our glorious future (should our current trend of stomping all over the Bill of Rights continue), courtesy of our friends across the pond. Here’s a tidbit:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1094807/Sally-Army-told-stop-rattling-collecting-tins–offend-religions.html

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/75739

Coming from a country that pays its government employees to inspect private garbage bins for proper dimensions and labeling, this isn’t surprising, I know, but it does offer quite a lot of insight into what happens when an overarching doctrine of political correctness is unleashed on an entire country of sheeple. Anyway, enough link dumping. Back to the thespians.

As I walked into the auditorium, I kept an eagle eye out for atheists and religious extremists, just so I’d know which way to duck the first time the cast spewed forth such incendiary and discriminatory dialogue as “Merry Christmas!” and “God bless us, everyone!” I counted at least three headscarves in the audience, a handful of Jews, and a compulsory gaggle of WASPs (“Caucasian Americans” sounds pretentious.) Standard fare.  I took my seat, and set out to examine the program: the script seemed close enough to the classic (the miser, the ghosts, the impoverished orphans,) so I took off my “indignant Republican” hat and prepared to enjoy a somewhat-sterilized version of my favorite secular Christmas story. What I saw over the next two hours amounts to one of the greatest blessings of my life.

I didn’t think that, in this day and age of completely sterile, nonoffensive feel-good garbage, a public high school would even risk mentioning putting on a play so full of genuine Christlike sentiment. A group of about 50 high schoolers scooped me up out of the hateful mire of the holiday season and gave me an incredible gift: a pure, honest, unedited and uncut version of the greatest Christmas story not directly related to the birth of Christ. Even more COMPLETELY SHOCKING and/or TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE was the fact that nobody seemed offended by this atrocious display of love and charity. There were no protests or expressions of atheist outrage. No one threw their shoes, and when Tiny Tim sat upon Scrooge’s shoulder and proudly proclaimed, “God bless us, everyone!” no one burst into flames.

In fact, a few people burst into tears.

It kind of made me wish the peace mongering, equality-loving atheists of the Pacific Northwest had been there to see it, even though it would have undoubtedly caused their minds to be closed and their hearts to be hardened. Tragic. ::simper::

It’s a little late in the game to lay out the legal principles surrounding the War on Christmas (already done splendidly by a certain Mr. DeVine), or to condemn the idiots who get their jollies from exploiting the Christian high holidays. Personally, I couldn’t care less who these people are or why they’re so incredibly angry. I am a Christian. I celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ. But you know what? One of my best friends is Jewish, and I most definitely helped her celebrate Hanukkah last year—not because I was looking to pick apart her religious practices, or to discount my own faith, but because she is my family and I love her. Celebrate Kwanzaa? You go ahead and do your thing! Personally, I don’t care if the atheists ring in the Winter Solstice by building a Harry Potter shrine and howling at the moon—their poor attempts at “making a statement” are nothing but chum for the media sharks. We all know what they’re trying to do in this country, and what that sign in the capitol building was. It wasn’t an expression of faith in the Snow Queen or Most Holy Frosty Potentate or whatever it is that serves as a tangible representative of the Winter Solstice. Letting loose that kind of animosity is NOT “just like” having a Nativity scene or menorah or Christmas tree or Festivus pole (for the rest of you) or whatever else people are now petitioning to display in public. It is not to be legitimized by debate, scholarly or otherwise, over its veracity.

But you knew that already.

Before I get back to testing the trip lines I’ve installed to protect the integrity of my outdoor Christmas tree (not “outdoor Hanukkah bush” or “outdoor Kwanzaa shrub”), I’d like to encourage everyone to closely guard the true spirit of the holiday season. There’s a reason why people have designated December as open season on religion in America, and this Reason is what gives me the courage to stand up to those, friend and foe, who find it their mission in life to hold something as innocent as the message found in “A Christmas Carol” in the highest level of contempt. As for me, I plan on living the last 9 or so days of Christmas in complete disregard for our lily white standards of political correctness. I won’t be out tipping over menorahs or stomping on Kwanzaa decorations, but I won’t condone the promotion of one viewpoint by way of the trampling of another.

And I certainly will not tolerate anyone laying a finger on my lawn decorations.