As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From the Headlines, we once again note the sub-exalted performances from our journalism industry in numerous categories to properly recognize the low-water mark in the press.

Note: And keep an eye out in the coming weeks as the year-end media dis-honors will be rolled out, to celebrate the bent nature of our media complex.

Distinguished Public Service

• Fabiola Cineas - Vox

With all of the irrational animosity in the press over Israel battling Hamas it is difficult to point out the worst, but perhaps at Vox, they came up with the approach that typifies this animus. In a particularly stunted “explainer”, we get served the tired “Republican pounce” approach, while dismissing the rampant antisemitism seen across the left-wing sphere. 

The DEI initiatives in schools have led to this outbreak of calls to eliminate Jews on campuses, but Vox tries to sell you on the concept that anyone tying these together is acting in bad faith. We are watching Harvard rendering itself due to this very reality. “Critics have lambasted university administrators for doing too little to shield students from antisemitism,” says Fabiola. Well yes, exactly. THAT is the problem, not those who are pointing out this is taking place. 

This is the media not being concerned with a pyromaniac burning down buildings, they are mad at those people calling the fire department.

How Republicans are weaponizing antisemitism to take down DEI https://t.co/XrIZ5GindB

— Vox (@voxdotcom) December 21, 2023

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

• Miles Taylor, Jen Psaki - MSNBC

Consider all the talk we have heard about Fox News misinforming its viewers, who in turn become drones unaware of the actual news taking place. This is an amusing accusation for anyone who watches MSNBC with any regularity. On that network the promises of all the nightmares that Donald Trump will inflict upon this country if elected rival those in a fever dream while hopped up on cough medicine and Ambien.

In one segment with Jen Psaki leftist darling Miles Taylor unspooled a list of things he says Trump could do because he would have access to the “Doomsday Book” in the White House, and he will force business closings, arrest opponents, and even turn off the internet!

Then it gets better. When called out for this idiocy Taylor came out to then declare shutting down the internet is actually a swell idea. So…he likes the crackpot idea, just not if the WRONG crackpot is doing it.

I’d love for the internet to be turned off for a bit … just not by a demented, Putin-loving hack wielding emergency presidential powers to selectively punish online outlets and platforms he doesn’t like. Trump’s own people worry about him doing this, BTW. https://t.co/QnqdidEHVk

— Miles Taylor (@MilesTaylorUSA) December 15, 2023

Distinguished Sports Reporting

• Carron Phillips - Deadspin

You probably remember Mr. Phillips as the source of the widely ridiculed hit piece where he accused a 9-year-old KC Chiefs fan of racism. Not having learned the lesson in his grievance politics writing, Phillips found a new reason to be outraged: When Florida A&M University recently won the national championship in it division Governor Ron DeSantis was insufficiently praiseworthy. Phillips opts for veiled charges this was about racism (“Despite what it feels like this is probably about…”) while pointing out DeSantis was energetically supporting FSU and its getting snubbed from the top-tier playoffs.

Carron was going to scorch DeSantis for not recognizing FAMU’s accomplishment, except he did just that, so he needed to find another piece of evidence. In two different posts the governor made about the schools Phillips - literally - counted the words, and he found that the entry praising FAMU contained six fewer words! 

Yes…he reported on this hateful move by Florida’s governor.

RedState Sports Report: Deadspin Maintains Its High Standard for Uncovering Non-Existent Racism https://t.co/u8uCaSSbmf

— Rex_Tudor_Coup (@iamgnurr) December 20, 2023

Distinguished Feature Writing

• Larry Neumeister - Associated Press

In another example of a practice seen across the media becoming exemplified we have the AP detailing a trial involving the controversy of trans athletes competing in women’s sports, and the women athletes being permitted to sue for the right to not compete against biological males.

Wait - did we say “women” athletes??? Our mistake! See, when this issue arises, as Mr. (assumed) Neumeister shows us, the proper use of terminology is to diminish the agency of the females. In his report, he refers to the female marathon participants as “cis-gendered runners”. He says this, even though the very fact that they are suing to restrict biological males means they already identify as females.

He also says this while still referring to the competition at the center of this as “girls high school sports.”

Judges found that four cisgender runners have standing to sue and have described injuries that might qualify for monetary damages. https://t.co/pp8iczhlCS

— NBC Out (@NBCOUT) December 15, 2023

DISTINGUISHED INTERNATIONAL REPORTING

• Julia Panicz - News Gazette - Poland

Police in Genoa, Italy had been trying to pin down known drug activity in the area. While staging surveillance the authorities began to focus on a barber shop, and upon further investigation, they were able to confirm the 55-year-old business owner was dealing drugs to his clientele.

What first drew the attention of the police was the apparent customers; they noted an influx of men entering the establishment who did not appear to need the services therein, as many were bald and lacked beards.

Genuine Clip-joint pic.twitter.com/AW98kEiZdW

— Lie-Able Sources (@LieAbleSources) December 22, 2023

Distinguished Local News 

• Phaedra Trethan - USA Today

A chair fell in New Jersey, and thousands of people witnessed the event, and its after-effects. Yes, really.

In the town of Audubon, a decrepit two-story home has been falling apart, and on an upper floor where the roof and walls came down a chair was standing, visible to the public and open to the elements. This had become something of a local landmark, with fan pages and social groups online created around this local fixture. But recently a severe storm came through the region and unfortunately for fans, the chair has inevitably plummeted from its position, breaking apart in the process. 

• Discussions are underway for the chair to be featured in shore towns' holiday parades and perhaps even give it a permanent (and less precarious) home in a local historical society. 

13,000 people watched a chair fall in New Jersey: Why this story has legs (or used to) https://t.co/f4DkkPkAQ1

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) December 19, 2023

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

• Natan Last - The New Yorker

Grievance culture being what it is, just about everything can be deemed problematic and intolerant, when the proper amount of stewed thinking is applied. But this is such a fertile genre in journalism that coming up with original hot takes can be daunting. The pedestrian and quotidian elements of society need to be mined for new grievances these days.

As a result, we now come to learn that crossword puzzles are intolerant and exclusionary. Because…of course they are…

The first crossword was published in the U.S. in 1913. The puzzle has since spread across the globe—but the American crossword today doesn’t always reflect the multiculturalism that immigration brings. https://t.co/3U5kai5mGV

— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) December 18, 2023

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

• Morgan Lee - Associated Press

Not to be displaced in the useless outrage department, the AP had to get in on the bashing of the holiday, in racist fashion. This time the news syndicate was arriving to let us know how our choice of holiday botanical displays was problematic. See, the plant the poinsettia is named after a famed botanist who has a “troubled”, “complicated”, and “troublesome” history, therefore the decorative potted selection that has been acceptable for nearly two centuries now really should be renamed.

The press cannot help themselves from being contrarian complainers about anything commonly enjoyed.
This time decorative plants are said to be a problem, and I swear the @AP is being serious. https://t.co/SY2ypacV8A

— Brad Slager: Flips On The Highbeams In Fog Of War (@MartiniShark) December 21, 2023