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Corporate America Thinks You're Dumb

AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin, File

In a textbook example of pouring gasoline on a fire, Anheuser-Busch is now in damage-control mode after it made professional woman mocker Dylan Mulvaney the new face of Bud Light. The transgender influencer had already been inciting backlash at the various corporations that had embraced him and Bud Light’s bizarre move of pulling the guy in makeup in as one of their frontmen had a lot of people scratching their heads and even more swearing off A-B products altogether.

It was pretty clear that the issue wasn’t just going away as the boycotts began getting traction from various establishments to country music stars.

(READ: Country Legend Travis Tritt Accused of ‘Cancel Culture’ by Ignorant Leftists After Ditching Bud Light)

The boycott cost A-B $5 billion in market cap and it was at that point that the company’s CEO, Brendan Whitworth, decided he needed to step in and say something to the public.

It would have been better if he hadn’t.

As you can see from the statement, Whitworth’s letter seems like it was written for him and from people who think that a few pro-American buzzwords and some down-home imagery would fix the problem. Mulvaney wasn’t addressed at all and there was no apology. The final line was especially odd.

“Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation.”

The entire response was weird and America clearly wasn’t moved by it. I’m not sure if he thought dropping these hollow lines would make us stand up, salute, and crack open a cold one with Mulvaney’s face on it, but if he did, that’s not at all what happened.

It only deepened people’s resolve to reject A-B products, as it should. This was clearly a lazy attempt to placate angry consumers while not angering the radical activists in the LGBT community.

A-B went back to the drawing board and came up with an idea. They would put together a bunch of B-roll footage of inspiring American landmarks and middle-American every-town imagery, and get a voice-over artist with a deep, down-home tone to tell you that Budweiser is a brand that’s all about the American spirit and remembering 9/11.

I wish I was exaggerating.

Again, I can’t help but wonder what they thought this would accomplish. Did they think we’d see this ad and our little flyover country yokel hearts would just explode in a mess of red, white, and blue confetti and we’d run to the store to buy up all the Bud Light we could so we could mainline it directly into our arms?

Here’s a really good piece of advice: If you’re at the point where you’re referencing 9/11, it’d be better just to apologize instead.

But since apologizing isn’t on the table, the play is clearly to hope we’re stupid. Ultimately, this is what many of these major corporations and their ad agencies think of you. They think with just the proper application of sights and sounds they think you’ll like, you’ll forget you were upset and resume being pleased with them.

That’s what I hope happens when I jangle colorful plastic keys in my 5-month-old baby’s face.

The further insult only hardens my resolve to walk away from A-B products. It’s the same kind of resolve I had about Gillette products when they attempted something very similar after they insulted men by declaring masculinity as toxic.

Remember this pro-military man ad Gillette released after an all-American boycott hit them?

I do. It’s just as insulting and I haven’t forgotten. Neither should you.

If these companies think we’re that stupid then they’re that stupid.

Keep the boycott going and make them hurt as much as possible. Make them an example so that any company who decides to do something this stupid again thinks twice.

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