The Case for “No Ball”

Several years ago, while camping in the high country, my brother and I were sitting around the camp fire and throwing out ideas for a “get rich quick” scheme. We were nearly hysterical considering the things we could market on TV and raking in our fortunes.

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I came up with “No Ball”.

We embellished the idea of a new toy product with which no one could be hurt and no damage could be done to personal property. We would simply buy an assortment of boxes, empty, and ship to buyers for $19.99, plus shipping & processing fees. Larger boxes, of course, would cost a little bit more.

We would fill the advertisements with people on video experiencing the joy of playing with the new toy. The actors would be shown just after having thrown the toy at windows, other people, etc. We could guarantee the toy could pose no risk to people, pets or property. It is environmentally safe.
Empty Box

We realized that as soon as the millions of fools purchasing “No Ball” were finished searching their empty boxes they would begin retaining attorneys. We suspected we might be charged with false advertising or product fraud. Our defense would be, “we can’t be held responsible for people finding themselves with an empty box, as that was the only product actually shown on the ads”. Or better yet, the 9000ft altitude had affected our ability to reason or speak more eloquently.

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I have spent years laughing about this plan and have shared it with a few like-minded entrepreneurs, some of whom have mulled the idea around for awhile, considering if they could make it work.

Just when I was ready to give it all up, the Democrats usurped my idea. Obamacare is the “No Ball”. The only difference in this plan and mine is that people can be hurt. Honestly, the guarantee that was not offered, is that people will be hurt. Not just financially, but the physical toll on those in need of medical care will be astonishing.

Since it has become apparent that Obamacare is not healthcare, but rather an attempt to eliminate the insurance industry, guiding Americans to rely solely on government to meet their needs, we have been sold an empty box. And some are clamoring for it. Obviously, the uninsured would receive the larger boxes, and the middle class will buy the largest boxes, while getting the smallest. The “fat cats” will purchase all sizes, receiving only those the government believes they deserve.

How, then, does the government provide the product they are pushing? This is where the “shipping & processing” fees come in. They are only “exchanges”, “market places”. A middle-man is a middle-man is a middle-man. The middle-man accepts the profits without the risk of the producer or the consumer. There has always been a lot of derisive commentary on middle-men, but now, with government taking on that role, middle-men have become the saviors of a “broken” system.

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I regret, in hindsight, not marketing “No Ball”, as I see it would have been a big hit. For a while. Until enough consumers realized it was a scam all along.

And I would be sorry for all those finding themselves in a situation where they had to promote family night with an empty box, based on assurances I gave them.

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