Because We Refuse to Save the Planet, Orcas Are Teaching Each Other to Sink European Boats

(AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, file)

A group of orcas – killer whales, if you will – are targeting boats and ramming them until they sink.

This phenomenon, which is being observed in Europe, is causing scientists some alarm, and they are wondering just what in the hell is going on (as one does when dealing with the Animal Rebellion). According to one theory, these orcas are learning this behavior from each other, and it appears to have originated with one specific whale.

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Experts suspect that a female orca they call White Gladis suffered a “critical moment of agony” — a collision with a boat or entrapment during illegal fishing — that flipped a behavioral switch. “That traumatized orca is the one that started this behavior of physical contact with the boat,” López Fernandez said.

Orcas are social creatures that can easily learn and reproduce behaviors performed by others, according to the 2022 study. In the majority of reported cases, orcas have made a beeline for a boat’s rudder and either bitten, bent or broken it.

“We do not interpret that the orcas are teaching the young, although the behavior has spread to the young vertically, simply by imitation, and later horizontally among them, because they consider it something important in their lives,” López Fernandez said.

“Social learning” is to blame here – one orca began exacting revenge on boats and other orcas began following suit. Now there’s an epidemic of killer whales attacking boats across Europe. It’s going to be a problem for a lot of folks because you can’t just kill the killer whales or else the environmentalists will throw some soup on more historic art. The cycle of violence will never end.

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Of course, as one researcher notes, this could very well just be a fad among the normally “playful” and “curious” sea creatures.

The unusual behavior could also be playful or what researchers call a “fad” — a behavior initiated by one or two individuals and temporarily picked up by others before it’s abandoned. “They are incredibly curious and playful animals and so this might be more of a play thing as opposed to an aggressive thing,” Deborah Giles, an orca researcher at the University of Washington and at the non-profit Wild Orca, told Live Science.

What a friendly and cuddly creature! They’re just destroying boats because it’s a fun new game and definitely not the whales getting back at humanity for destroying the earth. Do these scientists even hear themselves? This is clearly a moment where we should be opening our eyes and realizing that Mother Nature Herself is fighting back.

Wake up, people. Orcas are well-known for being absolute jerks to anything and anyone they come across. Here’s a video of one punting a seal four stories into the air for seemingly no reason.

That’s not “curious” and “playful.” That’s a vindictive b-hole of an animal and it’s turned its sights on humans. It’s only natural that they have started targeting Europeans, because orcas always pick on those weaker than they are. But it won’t be long until they’ve taught themselves how to tackle bigger prey, and then it’s a group of 35 orcas versus a U.S. aircraft carrier (which will undoubtedly be far more focused on not misgendering the whales than defending against them).

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Repent for your environmental sins. Take out a loan and buy the electric vehicle. Turn off your gas stove. Eat bugs.

Do it, or we’re doomed.

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