My name is Russ Carnahan (D, MO-03), and I’m lost:

(via Dana Loesch. Also note: Ed Martin is running against this guy.)

I was last seen a week or so ago, hiding in a garage after a get-together I threw ended with some people that I invited beating up a guy. I’ve dropped off the face of the earth since then.  No Twitter*, no blogging, nothing from work… I’m just gone.  Now, I’ve had a bit of a sheltered life, and I’m not used to it when things go bad: so I may in a bad place right now.  If you see me, please let Ed Martin (R) know; he thinks that I need to take a break anyway, and he’d like to talk to me about it.

I may be with one or more friends, who are also missing:

• Rep. Ike Skelton (D-MO)
• Rep. Paul Hodes (D-NH)
• Rep. Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH)
• Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO)
• Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
• Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)
• Sen. Al Franken (D-MN)
• Rep. Robert Wexler (D-FL)
• Sen. Robert Casey (D-PA)
• Rep. Allyson Schwartz (D-PA)
• Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-PA)
• Rep. Dennis Moore (D-KS)
• Sen. Mark Begich (D-AK)
• Rep. Chet Edwards (D-TX)
• Rep. Tim Bishop (D-NY)
• Rep. Lois Capps (D-CA)
• Rep. Mark Schauer (D-MI)
• Rep. Bart Stupak (D-MI)
• Rep. Bob Andrews (D-NJ)
• Rep. Suzanne Kosmas (D-FL)
• Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL)
• Rep. Brad Miller (D-NC)
• Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ, whose constituents want a recall)
• Rep. Chellie Pingree (D-ME)
• Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ)
• Rep. Lacy Clay (D-MO)
• Rep. John Yarmouth (D-KY)
• Rep. Chris Carney (D-PA)
• Rep. Jim Cooper (D-TN)
• Rep. Mike McIntyre (D-NC)
• Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH)
• Rep. Chris Smith (R-NJ)
• Rep. Melissa Bean (D-IL)
• Rep. Debbie Halverson (D-IL)
• Rep. Mel Watt (D-NC)
• Sen. Kay Hagan (D-NC)
• Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL)
• Rep. Steve Israel (D-NY)
• Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
• Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA)
• Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA, who will talk at UCLA about climate change)
• Rep. Bobby Bright (D-AL)
• Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT)
• Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT)
• Rep. Donald Payne (D-NJ)
• Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA)
• Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
• Sen. Herb Kohl (D-WI)
• Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL)
• Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
• Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD)
• Rep. Leonard Lance (R-NJ)
• Rep. John F. Tierney (D-MA)
• Rep. Doris Matsui (D-CA)
• Rep. Harry Mitchell (D-AZ)
• Rep. G. Connolly (D-VA)
• Rep. Brad Miller (D-NC)
• Rep. David Price (D-NC)
• Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT)
• Rep. Norm Dicks (D-WA)
• Rep. Travis Childers (D-MS)
• Rep. Jim Oberstar (D- MN)
• Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr (D-IL)
• Rep. Mike Rogers (R-AL)
• Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI)
• Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)
• Rep. Gary Peters (D-MI)
• Rep. Lynn Woolsey (D-CA)
• Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick (D-AZ)
• Sen. Roland Burris (D-IL)
• Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
• Rep. John Olver (D-MA)
• Rep. Richard Neal (D-MA)
• Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC)
• Rep. John Sarbanes (D-MD)
• Rep. Brad Ellsworth (D-IN)
• Rep. Melissa Bean (D-IL, who will meet people who pay $25)
• Rep. Gary Peters (D-MI)
• Rep. Rob Andrews (D-NJ)
• Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D-OH)
• Rep. Peter Roskam (R-IL)
• Rep. John Tanner (D-TN)
• Rep. Andre Carson (D-IN)
• Rep. John Murtha (D-PA)
• Rep. Betty Sutton (D-OH, details here)
• Rep. Jim Matheson (D-UT)
• Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX)
• Rep. Ruben Hinojosa (D-TX)
• Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX)
• Rep. Solomon Ortiz (D-TX)

…so, please, if you see one or more of us on a street corner, or hunched up in a chair at the Greyhound station… don’t walk away. We’re career politicians; the real world is scary to us. And when we’re out here all alone, it’s so easy for us to make bad choices…

Moe Lane

*To whatever anonymous staffer writes Russ Carnahan’s tweets for him: putting on the final ‘/’ makes a difference. As in, ‘makes the difference between a working link and a non-working link.’

Crossposted to Moe Lane.