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Banning abortion the EPA way!

By: Moe Lane (Diary)  |  February 2nd, 2011 at 03:30 PM  | 

RESIZE: AAA

Thomas Sowell has an article out today about the latest incidence of mission creep from the EPA.  To summarize: the EPA has wide discretion when it comes to oil spills.  Milk contains oil.  Therefore, the EPA has wide discretion over milk spills, too – which includes requiring ‘emergency plans’ and ‘first responders’ and ‘extra storage tanks’ from dairy farmers in order to handle such life- and civilization-threatening events as milk getting spilled*.  And, no, this is not an exaggeration: Cato reported on this back in June.  This is happening.

Now, Hot Air and Ace of Spades both waxed wroth on this, in their individual ways – but I asked myself, Self?  How can I make this work for us? And lo! – the answer was easy.

Follow the logic chain:

  • The EPA has wide discretion when it comes to oil spills.
  • That means that the EPA has wide discretion when it comes to oil producers, or equipment used to produce oil, or oil in general.
  • The EPA has decided that its discretion when it comes to oil extends to milk, which contains oil.
  • This clearly means that the EPA is claiming that it can regulate activities and situations involving organic, living entities that produce milk.
  • Human women are organic, living entities that produce milk.
  • For that matter, human tissue contains various oils.  These oils are not petroleum-based – but then, neither is the oil in milk.
  • Medical facilities thus qualify in multiple senses as areas subject to EPA regulations and restrictions when it comes to oil production and disposal.
  • This includes facilities used for abortions, obviously.
  • To the best of my knowledge, no abortion facility has ever been tested and/or evaluated for oil spill contamination.
  • Clearly, then, the next sitting Republican President must immediately draft and sign an Executive Order requiring that all abortion facilities be immediately closed down until they can be determined to be clean of hazardous materials, as per the EPA’s own rules on cleaning oil spill sites.
  • And, of course: should there be contamination by the EPA’s existing standards, there will need to be fines.  Serious ones, so that people will take EPA regulations seriously.

Hey.  Rules are rules.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

PS: If this scenario bothers you, well… maybe you should think about, I don’t know, BRINGING THE EPA TO HEEL.

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COMMENTS

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  • izoneguy

    Obama admin. threatens climate veto

    http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=7E7DACDF-F8BE-4694-AC71-84B1437627B7

    Time to play hardball Republicans – starve & choke the EPA until it is dead.
    How many EPA employees will show up if they don’t get paid?

    Issa needs to impede and harass the EPA at every turn.

    I call on Obama to resign now!!!

  • earlgrey

    if the government is forcing us to eat broccoli, and the EPA is regulating greenhouse gases, than what exactly is going to happen after we all eat our broccoli.

    Apologies if this is an unpleasant thought, but I couldn’t help it.

  • jerry39

    last week on some African city criminalizing flatulence? If its good enough for Africa?

    I dont seriously think criminaling is a good idea. But how about a cap and trade system?

    Ya, i’m just gonna stop right now as it can’t go uphill from here.

  • roppongibob

    I refuse to cry over spilt milk.

  • earlgrey

    We can just divert some money from defense department to pay for it.

  • SirGladiator

    Its way past time we as Conservatives decided to stop using the losing tactics of the past, and use the liberals own weapons against them. If they want to use Big Government to push a far-left agenda, then instead of just saying ‘lets close the EPA’ and let them attack us for being against the environment, we lose at the ballot box and we dont get it shut down anyway, lets just change the EPA to going after abortion clincs and other such true evils of society. Then the liberals will suddenly want the EPA shut down, and once we’ve done all we can do to the abortion industry with it, we’ll ‘compromise’ and agree to shut it down. Fantastic idea!

    You could also extend that logic out to other departments. How long, for example, would the liberals continue to support the Department of Education, if the DOE required all schools to teach the Constitution, the Founding Fathers, Free Market Principles, Abstinence, show Pro-Life materials (including videos) so everyone learns that Life begins at Conception, etc. if we started using the DOE to actually promote good things like that, not only would society be greatly improved, but suddenly the far left would want the DOE gone! Then we could once again ‘compromise’ and let them shut it down, after we’ve done as much good as possible with it of course. I’m sure you could pick a department, and find something similar we could do with it, its time to be smart and finally get the results we want!

  • bushhog

    of Egypt’s population has been demonstrating — assuming reports of 250,000 are accurate. That was enough for Obama to call for the President to step down. Will Obama resign if we get 1/2 or 3/4 of 1% to protest?

  • throwback59

    “Feminist women,” perhaps.

  • izoneguy

    resignation ceremony. I think to save Egypt and the greater Middle East then Obama will have to go as well.

  • chamberD

    Absolutely right, there.

    We must use their own agencies against them. Let them know how it feels to be ruled from the top in areas that go against their agenda. Agencies they created will be employed to sabotage their leftist programs — richly ironic and conducive to major schadenfreude for our side, wouldn’t you say? They wanted big government?? We will give it to them in spades — the “rightest” way. And they can eat s*^$ if they don’t like it.

    I’m past being nice to the nefarious criminals who hide behind “compassion” and do-gooderism to impose their brand of totalitarianism. We’ll give them a taste of our totalitarianism — TRUE FREEDOM grounded in personal responsibility and self-reliance. And if that’s too much for them to handle they can move to any of the socialist European Union countries and compete for taxpayer-funded aid with the millions of Muslim immigrants living there.

  • loganyung

    Can we at least get the EPA to ban the Compact Florescent Light Bulb because of the mercury spill problem?

  • ohiohistorian

    President Biden. Isn’t that enough to want Obama to stay?

  • bobmontgomery

    …on another thread a few minutes ago. Is this a trend?

  • ohiohistorian

    but everybody just rolled their eyes.

  • Raven

    If he proves as bad as Obama, then we’ll start saying “{resident Boehner.”

  • itrytobenice

    The Democrats supported the independent counsel until one of them went after one of their man-gods. Then they couldn’t wait to get rid of them.

  • GregInFla

    then maybe he could run for President of Egypt. He already campaigned there once with a great speech. And from the protest signs written in English, we can assume that an English-speaking leader will not be a problem there.

  • izoneguy

    http://www.redstate.com/izoneguy/2011/01/31/i-know-just-the-man-that-can-lead-egypt/

  • Common_Cents

    I’d take Biden any day over Obama. Biden even gaffes the truth once in awhile.

  • izoneguy

    to treat Americans like mushrooms – you know – keep them in the dark and feed them – you know……

  • renny

    But I cannot imagine little would play nice and share.

  • GregInFla

    Did you suggest that one too?

  • renny

    departments and agencies. Remember, the State Dept is a h*llhole of Hahvahd-Elie types who after 911, continued issuing the same corrupt “student” visas most of the terrorists who flew into the Twin Towers and Pentagon came to the US on and then over-stayed their “visits.” The main impediment to making any changes in issuing visas to people who couldn’t sing their names or misspelled their own names was so intransigent, that Bush eventually gave some medal or award and welcomed her into retirement. She was, beyond Islamist ideology, one of the major reason any of the terrorists were ever here to start.

    You don’t think these fine political organizations come up with their nitwit anti-business and anti-American agendas through superb students hired from excellent small conservative Christian colleges do you?

  • izoneguy

    But I wonder for how long?

    Another idea for Obama is to return to Kenya. He could live out his days as a King. I know he wants to be King of Omerica but that won’t happen.

  • rickbull

    issues in Chicago that Rahmbo is having.

  • GregInFla

    Like Rahmbo does. Rahmbo is on the ballot, and the ballots are being printed now. If he wins the Dem. nomination, and then is disqualified by a judge with a death wish, I wonder what would happen. That’s another diary.

  • http://www.scragged.com petrarch

    And conservatives generally don’t want a government job. The employees of the EPA and D of Ed are lefties to a man; there’s no possible way they would actually do what you’re describing. Thanks to civil service rules, you can’t just fire them all either.

    No, this is a great idea, but impractical as long as the entire governmental structure is occupied stem to stern by unfireable lefties. Easier just to defund the agencies and lay everybody off, then start over later if need be.