This is an old story – one that Jim Geraghty (via the Morning Jolt) reminisced about while noting the time that Mitt Romney saved a bunch of people* from drowning – that relates the time that Mitt Romney had somebody take a swing at him on a flight. Supposedly, Romney had asked the guy in front of him to put his seat up before takeoff (Romney and his wife flew economy class, by the way**), the guy swung on him, situation resolved by local security forces. Nothing unusual, right? …No, that’s just what THEY want you to think. There’s a conflicting report.

[Alleged rapper] Sky Blu says Romney drew first blood. Well, he said Romney grabbed him after angrily telling him to move his seat up.

“He grabs my shoulder .. and I just react BOOM get off me!” Blu told the video camera. “He put a condor grip on me. What am I supposed to do?”

“That’s like a Vulcan grip,” offered his bandmate Redfoo.

“Like a Vulcan grip,” Blu concurred. “I’m not your prey. I’m not a salmon going upstream. You’re not going to grip me up.”

Well… I am forced to note, sir, that in fact Mitt Romney was indeed going to grip you up for violating both the laws of decorum and our shared sense of American civics. And that if you do not like it then you should keep your seat upright until the flight attendant informs you that you can recline it. Because if you don’t, then you may receive a condor grip from… hold on. Millionaire businessman. Carefully maintained public persona. Strong positions on law and order. Goes around saving people using high-tech vehicles. Engages in principled low level vigilantism designed to make the world a better place on a street level.

Dear GOD.

MITT ROMNEY IS BATMAN. And knows kung fu.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

*And, as I am forced to point out by the current zeitgeist, their dog. I am likewise forced to point out that Romney did not save the dog for dinner later.

**When’s the last time Barack Obama flew coach, anyway? …And if the answer is “more than two years before he ran for President,” well, I can’t help it if people might think that that reflects badly on him.