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Here you go:

Me!

Me, um me me um me.  Me me um me me me me – me, um me – me me!  Me? Me.  Me me um me me me me me, me; me um me me me.

Me me, me um me me, me, um me me [me me um me].

Me, me me me, um me.

Republicans are horrible.

Me.

…you get the point*. And the terrifying part? I’m not actually joking. CNN reports that President Barack Obama has decided to go ‘non-traditional’ for his last State of the Union address; the article even actually admits that this means that “Obama will be talking about himself, not asking Congress for a long list of items he knows he’ll never get.” So, basically, we get to have an hour and a half listening to the President list all the royal decrees that he plans to issue during the last year of his reign. It’s an open question who will dread tonight more: the Republicans who will have to sit through this bloviation, or the Democrats who will then be forced to campaign on it.

Couple of other things to note, here.  The first is that the President and his staff seem to look upon the current makeup of Congress as being somehow utterly unrelated to the President’s policy decisions over the last seven years.  There is a reason, in other words, why Congress went from one of the most Democratic-dominated ones in recent history to one of the most Republican-dominated in six years; to say nothing of the pounding that Democrats have taken in the states**. And it is a reason that is not flattering to Barack Obama’s policy decisions.

The second thing? As always, I find it fascinating that the President has decided to devote what limited political capital that he has left on quixotic causes.  In this particular case, CNN is speculating that said causes would be gun control, and closing Gitmo. Partisanly speaking, both are political poison to Democrats; and the only reason why gun control would be less deadly to Democrats than closing Gitmo would be is because most of the Democrats who would have been vulnerable in an election about gun rights got thrown out of office in 2010 and 2014 anyway. And, truth be told; I expect any action on Gitmo to take place after the 2016 election.  In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the President tried to negotiate the closing of the naval base there entirely; it’s exactly the sort of sneak behavior that I’ve come to expect from the man.

Moe Lane

*The ‘ums’ are there because, let’s face it: President Obama rambles and stammers when he’s not playing to a crowd that’s predisposed to worship him. And these days, Congress is not a crowd predisposed to worship him. On either side of the aisle, really.

**Do not count on this lasting forever, by the way.  The country prefers a two-party system. At least, we tend to reset to one over time.