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Alan Grayson under House Ethics investigation for being… a hedge fund manager.

Wait, what?

Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Fla., center, pumps up the crowd as Rep. Corrine Brown D-Fla., left, and Rep. Suzanne Kosmas, D-Fla. listen at a Florida Democratic Party rally in Orlando, Fla., Monday, Nov. 1, 2010. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)

Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Fla., center, pumps up the crowd as Rep. Corrine Brown D-Fla., left, and Rep. Suzanne Kosmas, D-Fla. listen at a Florida Democratic Party rally in Orlando, Fla., Monday, Nov. 1, 2010. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)

Yes: Representative Alan Grayson (D, Florida) was simultaneously serving in Congress, running for Senate, AND managing a hedge fund that was based in the Cayman Islands! And the hedge fund interfered with his duties! And the hedge fund made his campaign staff freak out! All of this is the subject of a House ethics investigation, and I would suggest that you not get your hopes up. It’s amazing how even the biggest, fattest fish can slip through their nets. Of course, it helps if the fish is naturally oily and slimy…

But, rest assured, it’s really all just a conspiracy: “Mr. Grayson accuses Democratic Party leaders of trying to undermine his campaign so the nomination will go to Representative Patrick Murphy, a Democrat who they say has a better shot at helping the party win a Senate seat that is being vacated by Marco Rubio, a Republican who is running for president.”  Amazingly, even the New York Times isn’t buying that.  Presumably they’re in on the conspiracy, too.  Then again, objective reality is probably in on that particular ‘conspiracy': the only organized group that wants Alan Grayson to get the nomination is the GOP, and that’s because we want to retain the seat without undue fuss or problems.

graysonOne other thing I wanted to point out, by the way.  See that clipped image to the left?  Yeah, that’s from Grayson’s fund brochure.  I just wanted to highlight that first bullet point. You see, the reason why Alan Grayson in 2013 was not on the Financial Services Committee was because in 2010 he got thrown out of Congress on his ear by now-Rep. Daniel Webster.  To the point where, when Alan Grayson decided to run for office again in 2012, he avoided his old district like the plague-stricken leper that some have no doubt alleged he resembles.  I mention this not because it is immediately relevant to the larger story, but because watching Grayson going down in flames in 2010 was one of my favorite activities that year, and I’m feeling quite nostalgic about it.

Moe Lane

PS: No, I don’t know how a good progressive squares his spiritual beliefs with being a hedge fund manager; that’s, like, the equivalent of a Duke of Hell in their religious mythology, right?  But I can tell you how Alan Grayson can square that circle, ya, you betcha.  Grayson squares it by the power of sheer egotism. If he does it, then it’s by definition fine.

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