So according to the Decision Desk, the candidates who won the Iowa caucuses were Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz. But who really won and lost tonight?

Photo by Gage Skidmore on Flickr

Photo by Gage Skidmore on Flickr

Winners

Ted Cruz: He stumped Trump. Enough said.

Hillary Clinton: She survived. That's all she needed.

Marco Rubio: He nearly stumped Trump, and he now trails Cruz by one delegate.

Emerson College: They called the Rubio surge.

National Review: They took heat with respect to Trump, but he didn't win.

Fox News and Megyn Kelly: Trump was punished for skipping the debate.

RedState: We dumped Trump early, and Cruz and Rubio have been our candidates for a long time.

Losers

Donald Trump: He's bragged about winning the polls for months, but the first actual vote went against him.

Bernie Sanders: This was one of his most favorable states. He failed. He's done, he just doesn't know it yet.

Right to Rise PAC: They shot at Rubio. They missed.

Nazis: Cucked again.