The 2012 GOP Nominee (If Obama Gets Away With It)
He’s out there. Public Enemy #1. Emmanuel Goldstein to Barack Obama’s INGSOC. And what’s worse is that he’s running for President!
That Goldstein sure is a shady critter. For a time, he was believed to be the Governor of Texas, Rick Perry. In this clever disguise, he went around forcibly vaccinating innocent teenage girls until they were so retarded that they sounded like a philosophical debate between Kim Kardashian and Meghan McCain. But than his numbers dropped, so the iniquitous Goldstein assumed another identity.
You see, Goldstein turned his skin black and became Herman Cain. He proposed an overhaul of the Federal Tax system called “9-9-9”. That one scared the BaJeebus out of The Inner Party. Turn it upside down, and you get 6-6-6. But what ultimately did this version of Goldstein in was that he had Bill Clinton issues, serious Bill Clinton issues. The sort of Bill Clinton issues you can’t get away with if you are not a Democrat. Cain was proven unable, so Goldstein adopted a new disguise.
Then he became a former House Speaker from Georgia. He became a guy with more personal baggage than your average Southwest Airlines Flight. He became the guy who debated John F. Kerry from the left on Global Warming. Emmanuel Goldstein was now Newt Gingrich.
But then we learned that he had multiple wives, three-headed kids and lobbied for E-VIL corporations. Also, he supported something similar to RomneyCare, which is similar to ObamaCare, which will drive innumerable small businesses into bankruptcy unless they kiss some politician’s butt and get a waiver from HHS. You not only have to know Nancy Pelosi to get one of those; you have to be willing to admit it.
Then Emmanuel Goldstein switched forms. He changed religions from Judaism to Old-Line Catholic. Home states from DC to Pennsylvania; and houses of Congress from House to Senate. Presto! Emmanuel Goldstein was now Rick Santorum.
But Rick Santorum is mean, man! He’s mean! In Congress, he was,…wait for it, wait for it, – sanctimonious.
When you live in a culture which elevates the Kardashian Sisters to stardom for doing nothing other than “accidentally” releasing amateur porn movies via You-Tube, I’m failing to see the problem with a remediating dose of good, old-school hypocrisy and sanctimony. It would be nice to live in a culture that wasn’t a lifestyle septic tank. People are going to appreciate Rick Santorum saying mean things about abortion, gay marriage and America’s 1 million births per year out of wedlock. They are getting sick and bleeping tired of paying the negative externalities of other people’s blatant disregard for the basic tenants of traditional morality. But Goldstein fears the potential media backlash of these unpopular viewpoints.
So now Goldstein has a really clever disguise. Not Batman; but Mittman! He’s nice, well-groomed, and Moderate. He’s the last GOP candidate that the average listener of NPR wouldn’t chase off the porch. So guess what? Now it’s Mitt’s time in the barrel.
Get ready to hear all about Bain Capital (AKA. The Deathstar). Even as Barack Obama’s jobs council includes the CEO of soon-to-be bankrupt Eastman Kodak, we will be regaled with horror-stories about how Mitt Romney stood back and watched Bain Capital cut jobs at Ampad in 1995. The Inner Party has already recycled an old polemic from 2008. It seems one worker wrote Mitt Romney a personal letter. It didn’t read “Save us, Romney-Won!” but it might as well have.
“We really thought you might help,” Johnson said in the handwritten note, “but instead we heard excuses that were unacceptable from a man of your prominent position.”
Then, there are things the letter didn’t mention. The author worked in a typewriter plant in 1995. If his job was on the blocks, he needed to write his impassioned appeal to Mr. Gates; not Mr. Romney. His problems weren’t the fault of Mitt Romney. He was up against Microsoft Office instead.
Ampad was working in an obsolete industry. If I went to shop for an electric typewriter today, it would probably take me awhile to actually find one. Any business manager that allocated tens of thousands dollars of capital a day to manufacture obsolete product lines is far more of an enemy to the US economy than a Wall Street Lay-Off Artist.
But this was just part and parcel to what the GOP allows the MSM to get away with. The continuing drumbeat of this sort of garbage is why I suggested yesterday that Rick Santorum should never have accepted Alan Colmes’ apology for making dead baby jokes about his stillborn child. By not fighting back when the media pushes these distorted and disgusting narratives about our candidates, we are allowing the MSM to serve as an unpaid and hyper-powerful advertising agency for the Democratic Party.
We have a President that has destroyed more economic growth and divided our nation more completely than anyone else I can remember. We have a President who thrives off of ethnic and social division. We have a President who holds much of the people he leads in utter and total contempt. But we have played into this man’s hands. We have let him and his media sycophants turn our current frontrunner in the GOP Primary into Emmanuel Goldstein; Enemy of The State. It’s time to stop worrying about war with Eastasia (or is it Eurasia) and address our real enemy – Barack Obama and the Democratic Party.