Have you ever just watched an episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” and realized that every character therein would be infinitely more valuable fulfilling a different role in the carbon cycle? Wanna’ know what really makes this show kinda’ sorta’ sick? The fact that we all pay to subsidize this behavior each time we shop at the grocery store or pay our taxes. The fact that the longer we subsidize these people, the more these sort of people will become the future of America.
Then it hits you like this season’s vaccine-resistant influenza bug. This sort of pervasion of nature takes effort and ingenuity. Honey Boo-Boo’s continued parasitic existence is your tax dollars hard at work. This program gives us a nice, naturalistic, smell-the-runny-bastard-poop view of what we win if we raise our debt ceiling high enough and allow our federal government to do whatever the heck it pleases with money that currently doesn’t even exist. Let Dom Pardo show the Redstate viewers what they win if the debt ceiling raises without a sharply contested fight.
And in case you thought the cultural rot was only restricted to them dirty, gun-owning, NASCAR following, rednecks, we offer you another reality show. Oxygen TV presents programming that gets about as wide as network founder Oprah Winfrey used to during her binge-eating episodes. Here’s how OprahTV describes a household where a guy bangs out 10 different women, produces more offspring than Travis “Light-Horse” Henry, and then shacks up with a far younger girlfriend on the side.
This bold new series shows every second of the drama-filled lives surrounding a unique “modern” family unit, as they navigate their financially and emotionally connected lives. As the household grows, sometimes so does the dysfunction, leaving the man of the house to split his affection multiple ways while trying to create order…but sharing your man with several opinionated women is bound to create issues.
The guy in question is a rap artist who previously sold enough dope to make this sort of lifestyle feasible. It’s a good thing he knows how to deal outside the bedroom. Here’s a look at what happens when he tries to remember the names of his offspring.
Oh, and guess what? People are actually upset this stuff gets plastered on the airwaves. The Huffington Post brought in a GatlingGun to shoot the messenger declaring the show an insult to black parents everywhere. Shericka Jackson found the show utterly offensive and got up a petition to have it stopped. She announced that she “simply will not support ignorance in any way, shape or form.”
I, for one, totally agree with Shericka Jackson! If her petition involved a demand to cut off all the money that subsidizes this sort of lifecycle I’d be ecstatic. Anything that kept Honey Boo-Boo’s parasitic cast of genetically worthless lard-slabs a couple of moon pies short of a full EBT Card would be absolutely commendable.
Unfortunately, M(r)s. Jackson’s petition offers no such redress. She just wants to keep the rapper, his new squeeze, his ten mooches and eleven children of scorn from being held out to the public as a warning sign of where America’s Postmodern culture of soulless dependency is driving us.
If you found either of the two YouTube clips above utterly revolting, you have the power to make it stop. Not you technically, and maybe not tomorrow, but we’ve got the opportunity to start throwing the red B_ _ _ S _ _ _ Flag at this entire sort of atavistic, I don’t care about you, lifestyle. For those of us not inclined to rap or otherwise beclown ourselves on reality TV, this lifestyle only exists to the extent that Federal funding makes it feasible.
Take the state subsidy away, and actions have tragic and fatal consequences. Reasonably intelligent adults and adolescents see how pathetically it works out and steer far away from it. Nobody would tolerate looking in the mirror and seeing Honey Boo-Boo or Shady Baby Mama unless they were being immunized from the consequences of the ineluctable stupidity required to become either one of these pathetic human beings.
One positive externality of the upcoming Debt Ceiling Fight is the opportunity to make it harder for our national government to continue making responsible people bankroll this through new taxation or through further debasement of the national currency. The debt ceiling is a limit to how many baby mamas, losers and parasites that the Federal Government can successfully support. Unless you want more and more people to do what Barack Obama pays them to do (rather than getting a job, for example) than we need to loudly encourage Mitch McConnell and John Boehner to slam that debt ceiling down hard.