Well, it wasn’t really 15 minutes of fame. It was more like 15 minutes of toolish media whoring, filled with prevarications for which the media itself was a more than willing pimp. On Tuesday, Levi Johnston finally admitted the shocking news that he was, in fact, lying. By shocking, I of course mean the total opposite of shocking. Still, I’m fairly certain that Uterine Forensic Specialist ™ , Andrew Sullivan, will say that Sarah Palin’s magical uterus hoodwinked Levi into apologizing.
“Last year, after Bristol and I broke up, I was unhappy and a little angry. Unfortunately, against my better judgment, I publicly said things about the Palins that were not completely true,” he tells PEOPLE exclusively. “I have already privately apologized to Todd and Sarah. Since my statements were public, I owe it to the Palins to publicly apologize.”
“So to the Palin family in general and to Sarah Palin in particular, please accept my regrets and forgive my youthful indiscretion,” Johnston says in the statement. “I hope one day to restore your trust.”
No biggie. Just a “youthful indiscretion” — a whopping one year ago. I suppose we are to assume that liar years are like dog years. Let’s flashback to those days of yore from the time of his “youthful indiscretion.” Levi Johnston was given platforms at every major news organization, the worst of which was CBS where he said “I’m Hiding ‘Huge’ Things About Palin“. Evidently, the only things that he was hiding were his decency and his brains, neither one of which is “huge.”During the same appearance, he went on to say:
“I think the biggest hit we’ve had on, like, the Vanity Fair, you know, people really look on, is when she called her kid retarded,” he said. “I mean, I’ve got a lot of people talking about that.”
Oh, a hit! So glad that bashing and lying about your child’s family was such a hit! Moreover, the Palins refer to Trig as “their little angel.” If they ever used the word “retarded,” I’m pretty sure they were talking about you, Levi. This is evidently beyond your comprehension, but perhaps the Palins didn’t treat you with hugs and kisses and cookies because, you know, you impregnated their teenage daughter. People are funny like that.
At the time, Sarah Palin issued this statement:
CBS should be ashamed for continually providing a forum to propagate lies. Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies — those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.”
Exactly. CBS should have been ashamed. But are they? Apparently not, as they have yet to acknowledge Levi Johnston’s admission that he is a big, fat liar. CBS would be ashamed — except for the pesky fact that they have no shame. It’s hard to have shame when you spend all your time on your knees as media lapdogs. The media was all too ready to promote anything at all to make that icky “beauty queen” Sarah Palin look bad, like a bunch of jealous high school kids gossiping and spreading false rumors about the popular girl.
While it’s unfortunate that Bristol doesn’t have the same excellent taste in men as her mother, she did inherit her class. Bristol issued the following statement:
Part of co-parenting is creating healthy and honest relationships between the parents. Tripp one day needs to know the truth and needs to know that even if a mistake is made the honorable thing to do is to own up to it.
That’s really who it’s all about – baby Tripp. For his sake, I hope that Levi has matured more than the jokers at CBS. I also hope he finally realizes that he has a child and starts acting like a father and not a self-interested attention whore, craving publicity from people whom he is too stupid to realize have been using him and laughing at him, not with him. Perhaps he should print out the following and use it as reference for how to not act in the future.
Crossposted from Newsreal