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OK. That’s it. I quit.

Words fail me.

By: Steve Maley (Diary) | June 1st, 2010 at 04:55 PM |

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Feds meet with ‘Titanic’ director James Cameron on oil spill

Federal officials are hoping film director James Cameron can help them come up with ideas on how to stop the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The “Avatar” and “Titanic” director was among a group of scientists and other experts who met Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.

The Canadian-born Cameron is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies.

“Avatar” and “Titanic” are the two highest-grossing films of all time.

They failed to mention “The Abyss”, so at least the man has more oil industry expertise than anybody else these brainiacs can call in.

In other news, Tom Hanks has been called in to consult with Gen. Petraeus about Afghanistan, and Ben Affleck has been tapped to direct the space program.< /sarcasm>

H/T Bad Chad Stelly

Tags: Abyss, Avatar, Ferngully, I'm Not Kidding, It's Not a Joke, No Really, Titanic, Yes That James Cameron

COMMENTS

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larueladue
http://www.800cart.com Ron Robinson

…why didn’t they invite Whoopi Goldberg and Paris Hilton too?

Or Perez Hilton for that matter…

NRPax

But I think using Perez Hilton to stop the oil flow would do more damage to the environment.
E Pluribus Unum

should have made him a can’t miss expert.

aesthete

…but I did *hangs head in shame*
Richard Mullins

It’s a good thing that I wasn’t eating anything because I would most likely spit it up.

iowapresidentialwatch

actually, Sean Penn just shows up, unasked…

http://itsaboutfreedom.proboards.com IronDioPriest

If he truly is considered an expert on “underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies”, then maybe his input could be valuable.

I support the overturning of every possible stone of potential value in getting this leak stopped or diverted.

cwilson

but then I remembered the documentary Cameron did, called something like “Raising the Titanic”. If I recall correctly, they really did use some cutting edge remote-operated vehicles for deep water filming and remote actuation. So maybe it’s not TOTALLY insane to talk with the man.

Scope

we are talking about a mile down to the seabed, 5,000 feet. What part of DEEP DEEP DEEP have you missed. You sound very naive as to what is before us now.

Too even mention a film directors name, as part of the solution panel, is ludicrous. It shows such a deep deep level of let me throw jello at the wall and see if it sticks, and, help the majority of Progressive actors/actresses that have backed this insane administration.

I promised myself that I would not name call any of the posters here, but, this pushes the limit of stupidity.

Pizza

I’ll defend these guys. The Titanic was 12,500 FT down. That is 2.5 miles, which is two and half times deeper than your DEEP, DEEP, DEEP.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic#Rediscovery_of_the_Titanic

Cameron is an expert in underwater filming. He Directed Ghosts of the Abyss which filmed the Titanic and also Directed Expedition Bismark. So obviously has a great deal of experience with underwater robotics and photography. In fact, he has an Honorary Doctorate in underwater filming and remote vehicle technology.

That being said, yes, he probably is not the right person for this. But it is not like they asked Peter Jackson because of his expertise in Hobbits and New Zealand. At least Cameron is an expert in a semi-related field.

cabanon

I had known Cameron had done a fair amount of deep underwater robotics work but had no idea it was 12,500 feet down. Impressive. He and his crew also developed some unique underwater robotics for filming the Titanic wreck so maybe they have some insight there.
http://vladenblog.tumblr.com Vladimir

Pictures are important, but that’s not the technology that’s going to plug the well.

EPA called Cameron in “for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.”

And why EPA?
cabanon

But if Cameron and his crew’s expertise is in modifying submersibles to carry specialize cameras then they could modify submersibles to carry other specialized equipment, not simply cameras.
Pizza

My only thought was that they could utilize his skills and knowledge to get extremely clear and accurate images of the well. Maybe 3d mapping, etc.

One of the biggest issues at that depth is visibility. And with murky, oily water it only gets worse.

Anyway, who knows? But if some junior Fed Official wants to meet with him on the off chance that he can help, I say go for it. They already had Kumar from White Castle working there anyway.

Now, if they bring in him to head a taskforce, or actually meet with Obama, then you should worry…

cwilson

As Pizza pointed out below, the Titanic was much deeper than Deepwater Horizons. The Bismarck is in 15,000 ft of water, which is 3x as deep. Also, I wasn’t so much thinking about the photography — as Vlad says, we’ve had video for weeks. I was more thinking of the ROVs used in the filming of those documentaries. If I remember correctly, they had to actually move stuff around (via remotely piloted vehicles and waldoes) to get the cameras “inside” the wrecks.

But still…it’s dumb. You go to the technical experts (say, Woods Hole scientists) who advised Cameron during the filming, not Cameron himself. Whatever he learned during the process, his focus and “calling” is film, directing. The real experts…are probably already on retainer by BP.

OTOH, we’re talking about a bunch of leftist democrat politicians. They don’t KNOW anybody who does actual work for a living. The closest they come is…a director who got an honorary Doctorate in underwater photography and ROVs. So…it’s silly, and stupid — but not, actually, insane.

antisocial

I think BP already has that technology. Not sure what value James Cameron adds to this. I am surprised EPA could not find anybody better. Real Scientists and Engineers I mean. And please don’t tell me James Cameron is the best.

http://itsaboutfreedom.proboards.com IronDioPriest

But I stand by my initial comment nonetheless. The fella has expertise in getting technology and equipment to the ocean floor 2X as deep as the current leak in the Gulf.

And he is nothing if not imaginative, and has repeatedly demonstrated an aptitude for thinking WAY outside the box within his industry. We also know that his misplaced love for Gaea will highly motivate him to find a solution.

If maybe; just maybe; this guy can offer input into a solution via brainstorming, why on Earth would we want to squelch his input simply because he’s a misanthropic whacko environmentalist who sucks?

Aaron Gardner

They are going to use Cameron’s massive ego to “plug the dang hole”.

Win Win.

http://www.marklaiminger.org Lammo

but at least he would finally be doing of value for society.
Amy Miller

…along with his Oscar

WHABAM!

Oh, Obama, you slay me.

ContraMundum

The Obama administration should contact any surviving members of Hanna-Barbera who produced the Super-Friends, because, you know… Aqua-man.

http://www.redstate.com/tnjim TNJim

Yeah, I know they were two of the masterminds behind Looney Toons, not Superfriends, but that’s what this so-called guvmint effort to stop the spill is turning into.

Caameron? Really? Underwater photography? What can he show that hasn’t been on BP’s live cam for the last several days?

Talk about grasping at straws. You’d think Cameron had raised the Titanic, rather than film it. Maybe they’ll talk to Shakira next.

Richard Mullins

Well isn’t Sharika Obama’s latin friend from Columbia?

http://www.theminorityreportblog.com/blog/loren_heal Socrates

“BP is filming what they’re going underwater! We need experts to show that they’re doing it all wrong.”

Underwater? Check.
Filming? Check

The trouble is, of course, that the underwater filming is just one small part of the job. Even cutting stuff with robots, while essential, is only a small part of the job.

Nobody but petro engineers knows about oil, and geology, and hydraulic engineering, and stuff only they know you have to know.

And even after you get all of those skill sets put together, you still have to merge them into a team. Teamwork never happens overnight, even when everyone knows their role. Knowing all about a job is nothing like doing it.

This administration is so arrogant it astounds.
cirby

Of all of the Hollywood people you could mention, he’s probably the one who actually has the right sort of experience for this. He’s spent a LOT of time running robot subs and underwater cameras, and a lot of it’s been at extreme depths (the Titanic documentary was shot at over two miles down, and the Bismarck one nearly three miles). If you want to find someone who’s got experience at running hi-res robot cameras in tight spaces way down under water, he’s either the guy – or knows the right people to call.

It’s easy to make fun, but this is actually a pretty good call. He really is an expert at this sort of thing.

Tbone

I’ve spent lots of time driving a car, really well. Does that make me an automotive engineer?

“Of all of the Hollywood people you could mention”. Now there is a ringing endorsement.

blooch

Check out therealmccoy over in Lori Ziganto’s diary. He must be cirby’s avatar lol

ocleverone

In fact, I would wager their UAV programs are a lot more sophisticated and they actually have people with years of experience.

Why didn’t they call Bob Ballard from Woods Hole or a host of other people that actually might have extensive practical knowledge?

This isn’t a good call. It’s a slap in the face to the Navy and her personnel and assets.

Let’s get Hollywood! They know best! /snark
conservativecrusade

Really how old? I ask because I have to assume you must be around 12 or so. Reason I say that, most adults recognize that this is a serious issue and just because he makes movies and is quite familiar with undersea vessels, does not mean he has one iota of knowledge when it comes to tapping off this leak. Finding someone who can run underwater robots is the east part, so his knowledge is basic. We need the thing fixed and he is no help when it comes to that. It is just bogus BS that Obama is throwing out to look as if he gives a damn and knows how to be in charge. We are not fooled! But sorry Vlad hurt your young sensitivities by not wanting the director of your favorite movies having anything to do with something so major and so, pay attention now, real life!

http://www.dcworksforus.com Kenny Solomon

Get the best you can get……. Corky from ‘Life Goes On’.

I’m serious.

The dude has a ‘never give up’ ethic and all he needs to do is see the problem, think a few minutes and you’ll get that deep-down knowing yell of “I can do it !”……. and he’ll do it !

teresakoch

…a lot nicer, too. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if one of them might not come up with a simple idea that could lead to something that might just work, even though they don’t know anything about deep off-shore drilling.

It’s always the simplest solutions…..

http://www.dcworksforus.com Kenny Solomon

To me, that conveys someone’s ability to learn from mistakes, past practices and apply that knowledge to everything in the future.

I’ve had some incredible experiences with some very able and some not so able Downs and Autistic kids in the schools where I work.

The kids I met and had fun with have more on the ball and are much more aware of things than many kollej edumakated ‘we-know-better -than-anyone’ maniacs could ever understand. That’s because experiences aren’t in textbooks, seminars and retreats that all scream government control knows best. Real experiences are in open minds and being there for the kids to help them learn.

http://thesandsinstitute.org Vassar Bushmills

You even know why. You’re in La-La Land.
rick554

Danny Glover , Dennis Kucinich and Rosy. Round out the O Team with Michelle Obama and Lindsy Lohan.
lol… Dont laugh…does anyone think it could get much more bizarre?
Bill S

Didn’t he drill a well with his shotgun?
bk
izoneguy

I would imagine that BP may quit and walk away from the whole thing.

BP may tell Barack then can take over BP and he now owns all the problems – lock stock and barrels of oil.

Scope

and if I hadn’t read Vladimir’s diary on the pride that everyone working on this problem has in solving the problem, I would love nothing more than to agree. With the actions by BP, and there messaging, they are setting up the Obama admin. that claims they have been on the issue since “day one” and they have harmed themselves, and any criminal charges since day one. There is no question that the administration was set to award BP with a yearly safety award (political campaign donations pay-back?) The big questions, in court, will be- why was this BP rig allowed to surpass safety regulations, through lax/no inspections, by this admin? In my opinion, in a court that is law abiding, fair and honest, the Feds would be found complicit, at least, and, equally as guilty as anything BP has done. Sometimes I’ll rub your shoulder if you rub mine doesn’t rise above what is correct. We have to replace Obama and the majority Dems first. Then we need to get some R’s with spines and brains.

izoneguy

Now it looks like the leak may go on for awhile. And now Obama is ready to bail and wants “justice”. Why won’t the feds pitch in and help instead of playing the blame game. Would Obama help more if the governor of Louisiana was a democrat? Obama is playing pure politics with this issue when they should be trying to stop the damage to the environment. Flying in D.C. lawyers to sue everybody will not help anything.

Tbone

It usually does for him.
itrytobenice

I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night!!

E Pluribus Unum
Raven

Nope. You don’t qualify.

msctex

. . .that keeps him from scripting dialog.

There is no more reason to necessarily assume a director can write than there is to assume he can sing.
Common_Cents

I guarantee they will have Cameron put an “independent” ROV down there to collect evidence for their prosecution.
conservvoter

. . . we’re done for. I was sure that I couldn’t be surprised by anything Obama’s administration did next, and yet here I sit stunned. *smh* God save us.
handprop

Calling in the cavemen from the Geico commercials or maybe the duck from the AFLAC commercial.

OK, enough fun I guess.

I think Common Cents is right on the money here, time will tell.
http://www.laborunionreport.combrand/brhttp://www.laborunionreport.blogspot.com LaborUnionReport

$24 million is a lot to waste…even for an actor. Now’s his chance at ROI…

For 15 years, Kevin Costner has been overseeing the construction of oil separation machines to prepare for the possibility of another disaster of the magnitude of the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill.

Does this evoke his tagline from ?Field of Dreams?? It seems that Mr. Costner, the 55-year-old actor, environmental activist and fisherman, was ready for the current spill in the gulf.

Disturbed by the effects of the Valdez spill in Alaska, Mr. Costner bought the nascent technology from the government in 1995 and put $24 million of his own money into developing it for the private sector.
?Kevin saw the Exxon Valdez spill, and as a fisherman and an environmentalist, it just stuck in his craw, the fact that we didn?t have separation technology,? said John Houghtaling, Mr. Costner?s lawyer and business partner as chief executive with Ocean Therapy Solutions, which developed the technology.

Mr. Costner?s brother, Dan, is a scientist who worked on the project and was also in New Orleans this week.

On Wednesday, BP?s chief operating officer, Doug Suttles, said that the company had approved six of Ocean Therapy?s 32 machines for testing. All boast centrifuge processing technology ? giant vacuum-like machines that suck oil from water, separate the oil, store it in a tanker and send the water, 99.9 percent purified, back into the gulf.

?I?m very happy the light of day has come to this,? Mr. Costner said at a news conference in New Orleans. He said he was ?very sad? about the spill, ?but this is why it?s developed.?

http://green.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/19/if-you-build-it/?dbk

In separate news, Al & Tipper are going their separate ways. Not sure what the connection is, but there must be one.
aesthete

He could McGuyver a device to clean up the mess *and* get the Stargate team to teleport the refuse into space.

Come on Obama, you’re falling down on the job. (But to be fair, when aren’t you?)

hones

Cameron’s Aliens

‘In case you haven’t been keeping up with current events, we just got our asses kicked, pal.’

‘This little girl managed to survive without any weapons or training.’

‘Why don’t you put her in charge?!’
penguin2

Never tired of seeing him getting out of tough scraps. Need a whole lot of duct tape though.

Seriously, the brightest engineering minds are working on this, along with experts from associated fields and entities affected by this disaster.

proudtobered

call in Mighty Mouse to save the day? Threats of criminal charges is a Jim dandy way to ensure cooperation and a successful outcome, isn’t it?
Tbone

he must of thought it was Barney.
SteveLA

vlad

How about a heaping of ManBearPig? Should be just about the right size to “Top Kill” the leak with his large…
http://www.columbiateaparty.org conservativensc

It was exactly my first thought. And that was…”Oh my goodness.. how embarrassing. We’ve totally lost it.”

Jack_Savage

Mainly due to the fact that Vlad has offered nothing but reasoned, intelligent reviews of the situation from day one.

cactusjack

Vlad you encapsulated it all in one of your first posts when you said operating at 5000 feet below sea level can be as much an engineering challenge as an Apollo moonshot. Then this is our Apollo 13. I do wonder if BP is calling in some of the real experts besides their own in house, whose CEOs have offered their services I understand. By that I mean other oil companies who have gathered tremendous experience in drilling and construction on the sea bed:
1) Phillips Petroleum’s jack up of the **entire** Ekofisk Platform in the North Sea to deal with sea floor subsidence- this one makes the engineers whistle, to this day;
2) Shell Trollhattan – again, North Sea offshore, the sheer size of this took underwater platform construction & operation to an almost unbelievable new level;
3) those were supermajors – just two very respected names in deepwater offshore among the independents are McDermott and Kerr-McGee (now Anadarko). There are many others. Somehow I hope some cross pollenization is going on with these tremendous available sources. When I think of Ekofisk and Trollhattan, just as two examples, my hope and faith restore that we’re going to find a way to get this done.
teresakoch

Of course, it will have to be filmed in 3-D so that everyone can feel that they are right there with our governmental heroes when the film finally hits theaters just weeks after Barry saves the world.

And since it is in 3-D, you will be expected to shell out the additional $$$ for the privilege of seeing it. If you?re really lucky, perhaps there will be some clever marketing tie-in on the popcorn bucket and/or the commemorative cup that your beverage comes in. Maybe there will be an entree with some clever name just for the occasion in the theaters that offer dinner and a movie?.

Come on, people ? you gotta think like these narcissists do. You just know that Barry sees himself as the hero in every single one of his fiascos, right?
Nuclearnerd

Cameras and dexterity. Been there since day one.

http://www.oceaneering.com/rovs/
antisocial

Obama comes in. Lights!!! Camera!!! Action !!!

Plug the damn hole.

Cut!!! Beautiful. Yay.
http://www.scragged.com petrarch

I’ve got no problem considering Cameron an expert at “doing stuff” way, way underwater. He’s done it, and at the very least has a commanding idea of what CAN be done down there.

I’d even entertain an argument that he has a usefully different, out-of-the-box perspective that a dedicated oilman might not have, precisely because he’s done so many many different things underwater in the course of all his movies whereas the oilman would be expert in one somewhat more narrowly defined field.

BUT…

Considering that it takes this guy 10 years to make a movie, calling him in to plug the hole is NOT an optimistic sign.
teatotaler

…to terminate the flow of oil. Pure genius! Better yet, have him send the Terminator back in time to terminate the person who was responsible for the explosion and change the present.

Or maybe send an alien to gobble up all the oil.

Maybe this is why the Obama FCC is listening to garage rock band OK Go instead of experts on the Internet?

RS

FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

OK. That’s it. I quit.

Words fail me.

Feds meet with ‘Titanic’ director James Cameron on oil spill

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