Schadenfreude - Real Meat Turns Out to Be Healthier Than Fake

There's nothing quite so wonderful as a thick, juicy steak. Or a nice thick burger with cheese and bacon strips. Or just bacon strips. Or a bacon cheeseburger with a side of bacon. Oh, there's other stuff, too: pork chops, not the little thin ones you get someplace, but the big, thick Iowa chops I grew with. Roast beef, the traditional Thanksgiving turkey, fried chicken - it's all wonderful. Up here we eat a lot of moose, spruce grouse, caribou, and snowshoe hare, not to mention salmon, trout, cod, and halibut.

My grandfather was fond of pointing out that "...eatin' ain't eatin' unless there's a dead critter involved," and he was right.

Of course, there are those folks who want us to stop eating delicious, nutritious meat. These people are pushing a plant-based diet, and to convince people to eat these ultra-processed diets, they make plant-based foods that are... yes, really... made to look, smell, feel, and taste as much as possible like... meat. I know, it makes no sense.

With all that in mind, it's easy to hit Gloat Factor Six when you hear of a study that shows you are at a higher risk of diabetes and heart problems from eating the vegan Impossible Burger than the real thing.

The study, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, found that people who ate a diet high in fake meats like Beyond burgers and Impossible burgers for eight weeks had higher blood sugars than those who ate real meat.
This puts them at higher risk for developing heart disease and diabetes down the line, the authors wrote.
Previous studies have found eating a plant-based diet can reduce the risk of developing diabetes by 25 percent.
However, the researchers of the new trial have highlighted that these studies involve people who eat whole foods - rather than ultra-processed products.
The past few years has seen the rise of fake meats- including popular substitutes like Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods.

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Soy-based meat substitutes - they're schadenfreudalicious!

Now, there's a catch - the study involved highly processed meat substitutes; it's not as though the vegetarian side of the study population was just chowing down on lettuce, cabbage, and root vegetables.

The new study, by scientists at the National University of Singapore, included 89 Singaporeans with an increased risk of type 2 diabetes - and split them into two groups.
Over eight weeks, half the participants ate their regular meat-containing diet, while the other half swapped meat they'd usually choose for fake alternatives.
Participants chose ultra-processed plant-based products from a number of popular brands including Impossible Beef, Omni Foods, the Vegetarian Butcher, Beyond Meat and The Vegetarian Butcher.

And then:

After two months, there was no difference between cholesterol in the two groups. However, those who ate meat had more stable blood sugar, meaning they had a lower risk of full-blown diabetes.

So, sure, a qualified victory.

Look, everyone's free to eat what they like. Eat carrots or rabbits, beets or beef, tofu or turkey, and arugula or bacon cheeseburgers. Eat what you like, mind your own business, and everyone's happy. I'll keep eating meat. As long as there are moose, grouse, and hares around, I don't think I'll ever run out of edible protein. But I can't suppress a smile when the vegan proponents start a business and go to a deal of trouble to create a fake burger that looks, smells, and tastes as much as possible like a real burger - only to find out that the diabetes is more likely to catch you because of eating the fake.

This seems appropriate.