The President showed up late. You shouldn’t take his consistent tardiness as a slight against you, after all, he is far too narcissistic to actually be thinking of you. President Obama then strolled along the aisle of the House, slowly making his way up to the lectern. He looked like he was tired, like Jordan or Favre after they retired the second time.

But looks can be deceiving, the old chap still has some fire in his belly, or gas pains, I am not really sure.

Speaking of deceiving, the President was in great form tonight. He went from claiming success in the Middle East to asking for an Authorization for the Use of Military Force without missing a beat. After heralding his many successes in domestic policy, President Obama spoke of his plan for child care in America. He didn’t mention death panels, but he did reiterate his love of abortion on demand, we’ll count that.

President Obama also made sure to note that we are a “strong, tight-nit family”, but I still can’t bring myself to call him daddy. The President then chastised those who would dare play politics by threatening to veto any legislation that doesn’t conform to his politics.

The President brought ideas to the table that he said will make meaningful differences in the lives of Americans, and this was true. Whether it was his idea to increase taxes, not create jobs via the Keystone Pipeline, or release all the terrorist from GITMO … there is no doubt these ideas would make meaningful differences in the lives of many Americans. It just won’t be a positive difference.

The President challenged us all to break out of our tired patterns, just before regurgitating rhetoric popularized by a dead white guy named Marx.

The President insisted that the cynics are wrong, and when a guy who doesn’t trust you to save money, pay for college, or get healthcare on your own, speaks of cynics, you just know you should listen. Or he is using cynic to mean anyone who disagrees with him.

Wait a minute ….