Last night, I saw Jurrasic World: Fallen Kingdom. In terms of isolated scenes of adventure and horror, in my opinion, the movie offered a very good bang for the buck. As for the overall story, I couldn’t help but think of such a major Tinseltown deficiency:
I don’t know why Hollywood seems to only be able to write two basic villains–
The evil (no doubt, Republican) businessman who wants to destroy wonderful things in order to make money.
Oddly, this character is usually already so rich that making more money won’t even make a difference. Such was the case in Dwayne Johnson’s recent Rampage — “I have ten billion dollars… But if I do this really evil and highly illegal thing — which could send me to prison for LIFE — I’ll have ELEVEN billion dollars!!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!” SO STUPID. If you have $2 billion, you can put your money in an investment yielding 5% and live off $100 million interest per year. You have no reason to risk going to Shawshank for extra capital in case you ever need to purchase the moon.
The over-testosteroned (no doubt, Republican), freelance-for-hire military sadist — often with either a face scar or an eye patch, and sometimes both — who just wants to get ta warrin’ and get ta killin’.
This character, like the one above, does not exist in real life. He always has an army of generically evil goons at his disposal, and he invariably goes outside of policy and his directive in order to be extra evil and sadistic and corrupt (unfailingly guaranteeing his demise). He gleefully kills people and animals in the process of his imbecilic attempt at some additional cash, while also putting himself — despite the fact that he’s clearly already successful (as is evidenced by his army of goons) — at preposterously high risk of going to prison for life.
In the case of both of these wholly unrealistic modern archetypes, it’s clear that there is no way they won’t be caught and, therefore, they ABSOLUTELY WILL go to prison for life (or get killed) for what they’re doing.
Businesspeople (aka Republicans) are greedy, sociopathic bastards. Their corruption knows no end.
The GOP and sociopathic American bloodlust go hand-in-hand.
George Bush? He’s both. Warmonger, remember? Also, elitist family.
Trump? He’s greed incarnate.
Trump, Bush…both criminals. They’re both unfathomably sinister. Or that’s the characterization during their presidency. The media take it easy on George W. these days; perhaps Trump will find the same, a decade from now. But there was a time when bumper stickers of W. with horns, or references to Hitler, adorned many a compact car. He was the Trump of his time.
The Left can’t see the world as it is; from their view, the political opposition exists only as a collective of caricatures. Which, by the way, includes you — did you know you own a white robe with a hood? You regularly scheme against racial minorities, just for kicks. You protest politically, not because you believe in certain principles, but because you’re an idiot hopped up on fear and hate. That’s you.
Meanwhile, liberals are the good guys — the environmentalists, the protectors of the weak, the virtuous defenders of the helpless. Just like in Jurassic World. And every other movie. Heroes vote for Hillary. Villains rage for no reason whatsoever. It’s morons versus intellectuals; destroyers versus preservers.
Oddly, in the real world, Democratic politicians are just as rich as the Republicans. Yet somehow, movies miss that.
Oh well. If you’re looking for a solid piece of entertainment, you might want to try Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Those capitalist moviemakers have put out the film in hopes of making a billion dollars; and you can help, if you’re supportive of greed. Feel free to give them the money you work so hard for — to protect your family, as a helpless taxpayer — even though they’re political warmongers. But leave your hood at home; it makes it hard to see the screen.
Did you see the movie? Let me know what you thought in the Comments section below.
Am I missing some other commonly ridiculous villains here?
Check out my ridiculous Hollywood movie story here.