I’m Alex Parker, and I love sharks.

I love movies — my movie screen is 12 feet wide.

Yes — it’s that good.

And one of my favorite movies is Jaws.

So I can understand how sharks could steal someone’s non-finned, non-gilled, non-300-toothed thunder.

Still, I find it hilarious that, last week, the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week beat CNN in the ratings.

They’re gonna need a bigger boat(load of fake news).

BUT — Fox News Channel played the part of Chief Brody and bested the great white ratings-muncher.

FNC is celebrating its 25th consecutive week of victory as the most-watched cable network.

Take that, CNN and MSNBC.

In primetime, Fox ranked number one, with 2.4 million viewers on average. It also beat the competition in the area of total viewers for the day. Hannity and Tucker Carlson Tonight snagged top-two-shows honors. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show placed third.

For primetime, MSNBC came in second, but for total day, it was eclipsed by Nickelodeon.

CNN stunk up the joint like rotten fish, coming in 10th for primetime and 7th for total day. A few of the networks that beat Creating Narratives Nightly? USA, the Hallmark Channel, and Home and Garden Television.

NICE.

Grrrreat job, Jim Acosta (like here and here).

Shark Week was no slouch, with 1.7 million (700,000 behind Fox) in total average viewers.

Shark Week’s number doubled crappy CNN, eating the flailing-in-the-water travesty of a sinking ship for lunch.

CHOMP!

In celebration, here are four of my articles on MSNBC insanity, and five examples of CNN shame (I had to really narrow it down).

Thank you for reading! What are your thoughts? Please leave them in the Comments section below.

For something completely different, check out my pieces on reversing Roe v. Wade, Maxine Waters’s craziness, and Donald Trump doing kung-fu (awesome video!).

Find all my RedState work here.

And as always, follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.