Good news, everyone: Lena Dunham’s makin’ headlines.

On Thursday, left-wingers on social media did what social media left-wingers do: they pegged the outrage meter at 11.

The topic? A sweatshirt. You know — because when you inventory the maladies of a fallen world, sweatshirts are Priority #1.

The villainous garment appeared on the website of fashion retailer Revolve: a slim, tan brunette sported an uneventful, drab top with the run-on sentence “BEING FAT IS NOT BEAUTIFUL IT’S AN EXCUSE” on the front.

Okay…

Big lady Tess Holliday — whose very large, tattooed, swimsuited image recently graced the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine — brought attention to the ad. Here’s ol’ Tess:

After Holliday’s tweeted introduction, a swarm of social justice descended like a plague of locusts, devouring the dumb sarcasm printed on a field of cotton blend.

As it turned out, the clothing collection had been designed by Girls creator and left-wing radical, Lena Dunham. Shirts were to be plastered with real internet-troll insults, attacking alternate female body types.

Submitted for your approval, two possible ends to this scenario:

  1. People see the shirt and think, “Who gives a crap” (this is the end I would consider most sane).
  2. Revolve explains to nitwits that the slogans (of which others are “HORRIBLE RESULT OF MODERN FEMINISM” and “TOO BONEY TO BE BONED”) are sarcastic, and then everyone just goes, “Oh.” The end.

Well, that ain’t the way it went. Instead, as par for the 2018 course, Revolve issued an apology, pulled the line, and donated money to something.

Sigh.

Cue a statement to People magazine:

“This morning, images of a forth coming LPA collection were prematurely released on Revolve.com. The capsule collection – originally conceived by LPA alongside Lena Dunham, Emily Ratajkowski, Cara Delevingne, Suki Waterhouse and Paloma Elsesser – was set to debut tomorrow as a direct commentary on the modern day ‘normality’ of cyber-bullying and the shared desire to create a community for those most affected by the epidemic. Proceeds were set to benefit ‘Girls Write Now’, a charity focused on mentoring underserved young women and helping them find their voices and tell their stories through writing.

“The prematurely released images featured on Revolve.com was not only included without context of the overall campaign but regrettably featured one of the pieces on a model who’s size was not reflective of the piece’s commentary on body positivity.  We at Revolve sincerely apologize to all those involved – particularly Lena, Emily, Cara, Suki and Paloma – our loyal customers, and the community as a whole for this error.

“The collection has been pulled. We are proud to donate $20,000 to ‘Girls Write Now’ in the hopes that those who need it can still benefit from what was to be a meaningful, insightful and impactful collaboration by LPA.”

Just pitiful.

Not to be outdone, Dunham expressed her abject horror that the shirt had been — without her approval — pictured on…

…prepare yourself…

…a thin white woman.

NOOOOOooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lena wrote, in horror:

“For months I’ve been working on a collaboration with my friend Pia’s company LPA through parent company @revolve – sweatshirts that highlight quotes from prominent women who have experienced internet trolling & abuse. This is a cause very close to my heart and the proceeds were meant to benefit charities that help young women by empowering them to express themselves through writing and art. Without consulting me or any of the women involved, @revolve presented the sweatshirts on thin white women, never thinking about the fact that difference and individuality is what gets you punished on the Internet, or that lack of diversity in representation is a huge part of the problem (in fact, the problem itself.) As a result, I cannot support this collaboration or lend my name to it in any way. … My only goal on this planet is to empower women through art and dialogue. I’m grateful to every woman who shared a quote and so disappointed that our words were not honored. As a result, I will be making a donation to the charity of every woman’s choice who was wronged with me and I hope that @revolve will join me with a contribution of their own.”

Sadly, Lena Dunham tried to change the world and failed. But I have news for her and Revolve; and also, for Cosmopolitan: they can’t change the world. It’s not possible. In the last few years, much has been made about Dunham constantly showing her naked, frumpy, out-of-shape body on her HBO series. The liberal media have hailed her fantastic contribution to “changing our standards of beauty.” Yet, standards of beauty, among females, are primarily defined by what is attractive to men. And men don’t give a s*** about what somebody writes on a shirt (*** = hit); or what someone reveals in a magazine or on a pay channel.

People are attracted on a biological level. And all the sweatshirts and magazine covers in the world can’t change the basic instincts of attraction. If it could, why not just sell all shirts all the time with the words “Fat, lazy, sloppy, stinky, unkempt, filthy, sweaty, and gross are the most attractive things”? One and done — then everyone could just never bathe or brush their teeth again and be SUPER SUPER SUUUUPER HOT!

Hopefully, all involved in this story learned their lessons: never use a white model, never feature a thin woman, never court an SJW with sarcasm, and always apologize, always recant, always donate, always cave.

Or maybe — just maybe — everyone could just stop being so ever-loving ridiculous.

BEING “WOKE” IS NOT BEAUTIFUL IT’S AN EXCUSE.

 

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Thank you for reading! What do you think about all these things? I’d love to know. Please make it clear in the Comments section below.

Follow me — Alex Parker — on Twitter and Facebook; find all my RedState work here.

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