Well, it was bound to happen. And I’m sure we’re not done.

If you’re a feminist and you find the patriarchal nature of the Bible offensive, the solution’s easy-peasy and obvious-mobvious: just rewrite the thing.

Butcha ain’t gotta — two Geneva theology professors and their international peers have done it for ya.

Une bible des femmes — or, A Women’s Bible — will take all that male privilege right out of the holy scriptures so you can cruise through without being triggered — although, just in case, some left-wingers may want to skip select passages in Isaiah, Jeremiah, Psalm, and Luke.

But aside from those, as noted by France24.com , the feminists have it figured out:

The women we know from translations and interpretations of Bible texts are servants, prostitutes or saints, seen dancing for a king or kneeling to kiss Jesus’ feet.

But while many feminists have called for The Bible, Christianity and religion altogether to be cast aside, an eclectic group of theologians instead insists that if interpreted properly, the Good Book can be a tool for promoting women’s emancipation.

33-year-old professor Lauriane Savoy told the European publication the Bible can actually be applicable to modern society:

“Feminist values and reading the Bible are not incompatible. … A lot of people thought [the scriptures] were completely outdated with no relevance to today’s values of equality.”

Savoy and her colleague, Elisabeth Parmentier, got together with 18 other female theologians with new takes on parts of the Bible to cast women as strong.

France24 reports:

Parmentier points to a passage in the Gospel of Luke, in which Jesus visits two sisters, Martha and Mary.

“It says that Martha ensures the “service”, which has been interpreted to mean that she served the food, but the Greek word diakonia can also have other meanings, for instance it could mean she was a deacon,” she pointed out.

The ladies want to challenge “lingering patriarchal readings that have justified numerous restrictions and bans on women.”

As an example of a strong lady character, Savoy uses the example of Mary Magdalene:

“[She’s] the female character who appears the most in the Gospels. … She stood by Jesus, including as he was dying on the cross, when all of the male disciples were afraid. She was the first one to go to his tomb and to discover his resurrection. … This is a fundamental character, but she is described as a prostitute… and even as Jesus’s lover in recent fiction..”

Savoy definitely wants to redo Paul’s letters, which could be taken as anti-feminist:

“We are fighting against a literal reading of the texts. … (Otherwise) it’s like taking a letter someone sends to give advice as being valid for all eternity.”

Maybe it seems particularly laborious to alter the most ubiquitous book on the planet and market the new version, but Savoy would rather change the Bible than change religions:

“While some say that you have to throw out the Bible to be a feminist, we believe the opposite.”

This isn’t the first print of a Bible with the intent to speak particularly to women, and it remains to be seen how the theological group interpret particularly troublesome passages. However, there’s a fine line between taking something old and making it newly palatable (as in the case of Billy Graham’s favored, paraphrased The Living Bible) and changing a message to fit one’s own. If the message is truly changed, then why not just write your own book from scratch?

Scratch that; then why not just read a different book? 

To a degree, it seems to me, if you change the original message — whether you call it such or not — you are “throw(ing) out the Bible.”

No word yet on whether the chicks have inadvertently still created a toxic tome of injustice: they’ve failed to specify whether this new version is only for the kind of women who have vaginas.

 

Relevant RedState links in this article: here.

See 3 more pieces from me: James Woods as a hero, Michael Avenatti & domestic abuse, and Elon toking up.

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