How the Flinch Stole Christmas: Alyssa Milano & Cosmo Go Dr. Seuss, Seem to Forget There are Police

 

 

The whole entertainer-turned-politician thing no doubt causes a flinch or two among some readers.

If that’s you, get ready to spaz.

But hey — everyone deserves to be heard.

In case you missed it, on Wednesday, Who’s the Boss star Alyssa Milano socked it to Education Secretary Betsy DeVoss by way of a Dr. Seuss Christmas-style spoof about proposed changes to public universities’ relationship with sexual impropriety among its students.

By the way, here’s a complex question:

She’s said we must #BelieveAllWomen, but who do we believe when she says a woman is wrong?

Regardless, cute Alyssa teamed up with Cosmopolitan magazine to lay it out on politics.

What happened to the good ol’ days when Cosmo just showed stylish chicks, featured cool lipstick, and gave advice about “what he really wants”?

[Side Tip: If you want to know what men like, consult a men’s magazine; not a women’s one.]

Moving on:

Alyssa cozily sits in a chair in the anti-Betsy video and reads rhyming words from her book, “One ShIXtty Gift.”

Here are a few excerpts:

“Late one evening at the Department of Ed, thoughts were bouncing around Betsy DeVos’s head. She needed a gift, she started to think. A gift for the people that would really stink.”

And here’s the idea:

“All night she stayed up, her mind ablaze; the sh*tty ideas pouring onto the page: No more investigations for off-campus rape; bars and house parties would totally be safe. The meaning of harassment she would remove; squeeze and twist until it was hard to prove. Live hearings where attackers defend their own violence sounded like a good way to keep victims silent.”

Okay — what in the *[email protected]?! is going on?

Why on earth would a school — an institution which knows nothing about criminal investigation — be overseeing any charges of criminal misconduct? Isn’t that a job for law enforcement and the justice system?

Some people want the Mind Hunters at your local college Sherlock Holmesing it over stuff that happens at nearby bars??

What the heck??

Furthermore, there’s nothing wrong with a live hearing where it concerns accusation of terrible crimes.

Is there something goin’ round that sets people automatically and adamantly against any and all things by any and all people who are Republican or tied to Republicans?

One more thing: To a degree, crimes should be hard to prove. That’s why it’s called the “burden” of proof.

Anyway, Alyssa appears to have forgotten there’s a thing called the police. And actual law, which Betsy DeVoss doesn’t write. And real courts.

Those are the things which reasonably should, it seems to me, deal with crime. Not school administrators.

C’mon, folks!

 

See 3 more pieces from me: gassy children, Kevin’s broken Hart, and Trump vs. GI Jane.

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