You all seem to enjoy a good gun-thwarts-crime story (like here, here, here, here, and here).

Well, sometimes you don’t need a gun.

And sometimes — despite the thought of many a Mr. Macho — you don’t need a man.

Especially when you’re a fighter in the UFC.

26-year-old Polyana Viana has a 10-2 record in mixed martial arts. She’s also been targeted for burglaries on two occassions.

That combo might produce a death machine ready to pounce on any would-be criminal.

Meet…let’s call him “Lucky.”

On Sunday, while Polyana was waiting for an Uber in Rio de Janeiro, Lucky walked up. He asked what time it was, then he said he had a gun.

Lucky demanded she give him her cellphone.

[This isn’t gonna end well.]

Polyana decided his “gun” was “too soft” to be real.

As recounted to MMAjunkie:

“He was really close to me. So I thought, ‘If it’s a gun, he won’t have time to draw it.’ So I stood up.”

And then:

Punch.

These are Polyana’s arms:

Then:

Punch AGAIN.

Followed by:

Kick.

These are Polyana’s legs (plus various other parts):

Topped off by:

Headlock.

She held Lucky ’til the cops got there.

“[I] sat him down in the same place we were before and said, ‘Now we’ll wait for the police.'”

What deters crime? A lot of things. Outside lights around your home. A dog. The impression that you’re paying attention when you’re out and about. Oh — and a gun.

Polyana doesn’t need a gun. And Lucky’s? It was made of cardboard.

He might wanna change his approach to crime.

He also might wanna change his name, as is evidenced by his photo — after Polyana did her thing — courtesy of UFC President Dana White. I know y’all like to see a crook get his just desserts. Enjoy. That ain’t the stain of victory on his shirt. Yikes:

As I covered in August, for law enforcement officers in Brazil, masculinity is no longer mandatory (here). Maybe they should require ’em to be girly — girly like Polyana Viana. And maybe Disney should cast her in the next Star Wars movie, because — as Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy’s been asserting for some time now — for one very unLucky would-be criminal in Rio, the Force is Female.

-Alex

 

Relevant RedState links in this article: here, here, here, herehere, and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: Misster Universe, mean speech, and kids with gas.

Find all my RedState work here.

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