At one point, human beings were just runnin’ around, nekkid in the woods.

Then someone had an epiphany: “Let’s band together for the greater good, so we don’t die as much.”

Hence, government.

Fast-forward to 2019, and what in the world has happened?

A simple idea has gone way, way, way awry.

Case in point:

This month, the Florida legislature will vote on a bill filed in the Senate destined to make many wish they were still just nekkid in the woods — the proposed law will ban petting your dog while driving.

Yes — it’s that stupid.

As reported by WFTV Orlando:

In an AAA survey, 52 percent of the people surveyed said they have pet their dog while driving. 29 percent admitted they were distracted by their animal.

It should be noted that “driving,” so far as the cops are concerned, includes sitting at a traffic light or stop sign.

Republican Jackie Toledo explained the importance of the law to The Tampa Bay Times:

“The focus of this bill is to save lives and get people’s behavior to change. While you’re driving, you should be focused on driving.”

And while you’re in office, you should be focused on important things.

More on the proposal, courtesy of the Miami Herald:

Florida lawmakers’ bill defines “driving while distracted” as being inattentive at the wheel and lists a smorgasbord of activities that run afoul of the proposal, including but not limited to “reading, writing, performing personal grooming, applying a beauty aid or similar products, interacting with pets or unsecured cargo [and] using a personal wireless communications device.”

Also from the AAA study:

17 percent let their dog sit on their lap.

Crikey!

Meanwhile, government officials in Virginia and New York want to kill living, breathing babies (here and here).

And this is where we are.

Enjoy the relaxing video below. If you can get the internet…in the woods.

-Alex

 

Relevant RedState links in this article: here and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: parents of the year, breakdancing, and nekkid on the train.

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