Unequal is unfair, and unfair is unacceptable.

Therefore, at Lakeland Regional High School this year, no students will be allowed to take a limousine to the prom.

‘Cause fair is fair, and the way we accomplish it is to make everything crappier.

No luxury cars, either.

And also, no cars, either.

Or trucks.

Or dune buggies.

In fact, all those slick, look-like-a-million-bucks, prom-dress-wearin’, tuxedo-sportin’, hair-done-up teens’ll be arriving to their swankiest experience of a privileged lifetime by way of…the bus.

That’s right: Get gussied up, put on your corsage and boutonnière, and then get on the Double Dutch Bus.

And Dutch is how you should be goin’ — because, misogyny.

According to New Jersey’s 101.5, students will have to fork over $15 for the bus ride — that’s chaperoned, no less — in order to experience the glamour of the high school prom.

On a bus.

For a 45-minute ride. In pigeon suits and sequins. So they can get there and get Footloose.

Student Alex Barna told CBS New York it stinks:

“The limo party…is the best part of the night. For some kids, it’s their first time being on a limo. And that’s exciting!”

But what does he know? He’s just some dude. He may even be white!

School Superintendent Hugh Beattie assured ABC 7 it’s all about the good stuff:

“[We made the decision] based on the concern over the safety of all our students and in providing equity for allproviding equity for all students so that they all could enjoy a shared ‘prom experience’ despite socio-economic status, and based on the success that other districts have demonstrated utilizing this practice. The district wants to ensure that all students have the equal opportunity to share in a positive, safe and memorable school prom experience.”

So there ya go.

Thanks, district, for ensurin’ all that.

Crappiness for everyone!

-Alex

 

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.

Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below. For iPhone instructions, see the bottom of this page.

 

 

If you have an iPhone and want to comment, select the box with the upward arrow at the bottom of your screen; swipe left and choose “Request Desktop Site.” If it fails to automatically refresh, manually reload the page. Scroll down to the red horizontal bar that says “Show Comments.”